How One Saudi Marriage Was Arranged


The groom was 25 years old and from a small town in Nej’d. His father had passed away and his mother was 72 years old. He was the youngest of a family consisting of several brothers and sisters who were all married. His dream was to finish University and start his own small business. As a result, he had no plans or intentions of getting married. His mother, on the other hand, feared that if she did not see her son marry before she passed away, he would either end up never marrying or perhaps engage in a misyaar marriage since he was so focused on wanting to establish a business rather than care for a family. So the mother began a search for a suitable bride for her son and ultimately arranged a marriage with a young university student. The son realized he could not contradict his mother’s wishes so resigned himself to the fact that he would have a wife and probably soon thereafter children.

He is now married. He has finished University and instead of starting his own business he is now employed by a company. After all, he is now responsible for taking care of and providing for his new wife. His new wife continues her studies at University. The young man readily acknowledges there is not yet a deep closeness between him and his new bride. They both “did their duty” and followed the requests of their respective families that they marry one another.

The young groom will occasionally see his friends from University. While he never speaks disrespectfully of his wife or his situation he is a strong advocate telling these young men who are not yet married to first follow their dreams, even if it meant challenging their parents’ wishes. The young groom remains disappointed that he did not get the opportunity to start his own small business. When his friends questioned him on why he could not still do so, his response was that he had to be able to immediately provide for a wife and found he now has no time or as yet, resources, which he can use for the necessary capital to have a business.

We hope that he will one day not only be able to recognize his dream of wanting his own business but that his arranged marriage will survive as well.


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