American Bedu

Tribute to Vera

Maybe Mother’s Day is not celebrated as widely or openly in the Kingdom as other parts of the world but it is a good time to reflect and remember the love of a Mother.  In this regard, I’m going to be more personalized and share some thoughts about my own mother, Vera.  She’s no longer on this Earth; she passed away several years ago.  I can now talk and write about her without breaking down but the dull ache and throb of missing her has not gone away.

She was born in the United States of parents of European heritage.  She grew up in a large and boisterous family.  She met my Dad when she was still a high school teenager at a local roller skating rink.  They married when she finished high school.  During those times (late 1940’s) most women did not think about University beyond high school but rather getting married and beginning a family, which is exactly what Vera did.

She gave birth and raised five children of her own.  She was a traditional, loving and protective mother.  We lived in the rural countryside of Northwestern Pennsylvania.  Among my special memories were the times when my mother would take me and my siblings into the forest behind our house.  We would go hiking and then before getting too tired, she’d teach us how to make a teepee such as those used by the Indians.  We’d gather branches and sticks and she always remembered to come prepared with rope and shears.  After making our teepee, then we’d fix a ring of stones and prepare a fire.  While the fire was blazing she’d bring out a bag with sandwiches made using her home baked bread.  Dessert was the best treat of all, marshmallows which we roasted over the flames of the fire.

The times when I was home sick from school she was not only mom and nurse but my companion.  Since becoming a mother myself and raising a child, I now realize how much of her day she dedicated to me when I was feeling poorly.  She would entertain me all day by reading to me, making me paper dolls and wardrobes to play with or even stitching by hand new dresses for my dolls.

She never failed to be present at all the various school activities of all of us.  She also made sure we studied well and knew how to do different chores and tasks.  She tolerated our endless pets as well as the various fashion fads we all went through.

She was always the first to awaken and last to retire at night.  All the meals were homecooked to include her regularly making several batches of bread each week.  With the gained experience I now have over the years of my own motherhood, I can only shake my head in wonder as to how did she do it all?

She and my father did divorce after 27 years of marriage and at that time, my mother had to learn to support herself and become self-sufficient.  Not an easy feat for a traditional Betty Crocker model in her late 40’s.  However she rallied herself and enrolled in nursing school with my sister.  They were a mother-daughter team and coached and supported each other through the years of training and study.

I saw my mother metamorphous from a traditional homemaker to a conscientious working woman.  She continued to be “super mom” as well as earn a rightly deserved reputation as “super nurse.”  She was compassionate about her patients and chose to specialize as an intensive care nurse.

In her later years when one hopes that it is the time for retirement and appreciation of life, her life was not necessarily easy.  She was a single woman on a fixed income.  But she rarely complained.  All she wanted was to know her children, grandchildren and great-children were healthy, happy and settled.

Throughout all her years she easily reminded one of a protective tigress guarding her cubs.  No man was ever good enough for her daughters and no woman could measure up as a wife for her son.  Yes, in that respect, I believe she was typical of mother’s everywhere around the world.

She had such a wry and unexpected sense of humor.  To her, the glass was always half-full and never half-empty.  Yet there were times when raising five children who could sometimes all get under each other’s nerves, her patience might be a little short.  One of her typical sayings when she simply had enough if several of us were whining at once over trivial things such as “she borrowed my coat and didn’t ask” or “he ate the last cupcake” she’d place a hand on her hip, furrow her brow and exclaim in exasperation “if you are looking for sympathy you’ll find it in the dictionary between $hit and syphilis.”  Fortunately she did not say that often but it’s a phrase none of us ever forgot.  She also encouraged us to remain positive and optimistic regardless of moods to the contrary.  She’d instruct us to always keep a smile on her face for not only could it perhaps brighten someone else’s day but it might make people wonder what you are up to!  Oh yes, that was my mom and her personality!

She passed away unexpectedly and in her sleep when I was on a diplomatic posting in India.  Unfortunately her passing coincided with 9-11 and as a result, it was impossible for me to get a flight for her funeral services.  I had to deal with some issues regarding closure and feeling cheated from getting to say a final goodbye.

However in closing this post, cherish your mother wherever you are.  If she is no longer with you, continue to honor her memory.  Mine may be physically gone but her spiritual, emotional and loving presence remains with me daily.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers everywhere in the world!

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