The Second Wife of a Saudi – She too Feels Pain

So she’s a second wife? She probably knew what she was getting in to then entering into a relationship with a man who already had commitments such as another wife and a family. Most individuals likely refer to her as a homewrecker and wonder why she could not cast her net out for a single man. But you might be surprised…she too has her own story, circumstances and yes, even pain.


Following typical tradition she met him when he was outside of the Kingdom, by himself, without a sign or hint of another romantic interest, let alone a wife and family. And oh how a Saudi man can charm…he courted her and charmed her off of her feet. She was confident she had found her Prince Charming and when he proposed whizzing her off on his Magic Carpet to the Magic Kingdom she was ecstatic and could not wait. Her family were concerned she was going to be so far away but at the same time pleased she had found happiness.


The bubble burst though a few months after she arrived in the Kingdom when she learned she was not the only one. He claimed that she was the love of his life as well as the wife in his life. After all, the other wife…the first…was “only” the mother of the children and therefore in that capacity should be respected and therefore no divorce. Are you surprised to learn that she felt devastated and as if her whole world had shattered? Her self-esteem, confidence and sense of self-worth were lost. She continually questions herself on how could she have been so blind and so clueless. She feels ashamed and deplores the stigma of being referred to as “that second wife…that Western homewrecker who destroyed a beautiful Saudi family.”


Of course the relationship with her Saudi husband has suffered and continues to suffer. She described it as a continual roller coaster that feels like it has gone off-track. She is resentful of her spouse for his deception. After all, she did not knowingly choose nor accept to be a second wife. Ironically she still professes to have feelings of love for her husband although she wishes she could turn it off as easily as a light switch. She is not optimistic of a future with her Saudi husband. This series of events certainly jaded her once positive views of the Kingdom and its people as well.


When these details were provided to me and I was asked to share them through my blog, I initially resisted. However she was quite insistent that her view and experience be told, especially as a warning to other foreign women who are involved with a Saudi who is outside of the Kingdom. That is not to say or imply all Saudi men are unscrupulous but at the same time, it reiterates and reinforces the need to know the individual to whom one plans to merge their life. Know his background, his circumstances and ideally, meet and speak with his family.


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