Carol Fleming (aka American Bedu) created this daily blog in September 2006 about the customs, culture and traditions of day-to-day life in Saudi Arabia . Carol is an independent consultant and writer. Her services and expertise are available to companies and individuals. Areas of expertise include research and analysis; writing and editing; public relations; marketing; strategic communications; cultural training; and international affairs.
Her diverse experience began in 1983 where she worked for 20 years in the governmental sector as an intelligence officer for the Central Intelligence Agency with a focus on Southeast Asia and the Middle East. She oversaw and managed sensitive issues in the area of weapons proliferation, counterintelligence, national security and emerging technologies. Her work took her to more than 100 countries which included postings abroad. Ms. Fleming received multiple awards and recognition for her accomplishments throughout her career.
In the private sector she was the Country Director for an international U.S. Corporation specializing in media and public relations in Pakistan. Ms. Fleming was responsible for launching the business in Pakistan. On her arrival to Pakistan in October 2005 she engaged a crew and traveled to the earthquake devastated area of Kashmir and produced a documentary which was gifted to the Government of Pakistan towards relief efforts in attracting international aid. She also oversaw and directed the production of a documentary on behalf of the U.S. Army for the “Last MASH Standing.”
Since 2006 Ms. Fleming has worked as an independent consultant using her key strengths and skills in research, analysis, strategic communications, writing, media and public diplomacy. Clients have included Saudi Arabian Television which engaged Ms. Fleming as a media consultant where she produced special programs, conducted VIP interviews and was featured as a political analyst. She performed a market survey and analysis for a Saudi technology firm which resulted in identification of new markets for the firm. She was also engaged as a consultant editor on behalf of Booz, Allen and Hamilton for their interests in Saudi Arabia.
Ms. Fleming is a freelance writer and has been a contributor to the Saudi publication, Oasis Magazine; Voyager Magazine, the in-flight magazine for BMI airlines; contributing author of “Bridges; An Anthology” published by Pathbinder Publishing; and co-author of “Patriots for Hire.”
Carol Fleming has knowledge of Urdu, Arabic and Spanish in addition to a slight knowledge of Russian, Serbian and French. She is fully conversant in all Microsoft software applications and firearms qualified.
Ms. Fleming works well under pressure. She is a problem solver who enjoys challenges and new initiatives. She is both a dependable and adaptable professional.
In her spare time she enjoys golf, travel, reading and writing.
She may be contacted at admin@americanbedu.com
On the personal side, Carol lived in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia with her husband and their 2 cats. (see post ” A Continuing Love Story” on how they initially met). Carol’s husband, Abdullah Othman Al-Ajroush, was a career diplomat with the Ministry of Foreign Affairs for 33 years. In spite of Carol having been a career spy and Abdullah a gentleman’s diplomat, they managed to work through governmental challenges and approvals and have a relationship of a lifetime. Due to Abdullah’s position and Carol’s former background their marriage was ultimately approved by the King of Saudi Arabia in order for Carol to live in the Kingdom and be legally recognized as Abdullah’s wife.
Abdullah christianed Carol “American Bedu” when after learning she was from a small village (literally) in Northwest Pennsylvania, USA. He quipped “only Bedus come from villages so I guess that makes you my American Bedu” and the name has stuck ever since.
In 2008 Abdullah was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive leukemia. He passed away in February 2010 after a long and brave fight. As a result, Carol’s life has changed in many directions but she retains her fondness for Saudi Arabia, which she views as a second home.
Carol’s own cancer relapsed in 2008 and she continues her own battle against metastatic breast cancer to this day. She faces each day as a gift and believes in living life to the fullest.
Carol immensely enjoys foreign cultures, customs and traditions as well as following international affairs and current events. She is a strong advocate for the education and empowerment of women and readily volunteers her skills to this cause.
I HAVE ENJOYED READING YOUR BLOG. THANK YOU FOR THE INSIGHTFUL INFORMATION. I WOULD ENJOY HEARING MORE ABOUT HOW YOU MET YOUR
HUSBAND. HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED? THERE NO CHILDREN?
ONLY YOUR 3 CATS. WE TOO LOVE CATS. WHEN WE LIVED HERE BEFORE
WE HAD A PERSIAN AND WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ANOTHER. WOULD YOU
KNOW WHERE WE COULD GET ONE. MY HUSBAND AND I ARE HERE WITHOUT OUR CHILDREN THIS TIME. AND HAVING A CAT WOULD BE NICE COMPANY.
THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR INTERESTING STORIES AND INFORMATION TIDBITS.
LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON….KELLY
Hi Kelly and thanks for your comment. Actually in my early early postings I wrote a post about “how it all began.” I’m still learning wordpress and have to figure out how to pull the post up and make a link to it.
If you are here in the Kingdom and enjoy pets, especially cats, then you may wish to join the yahoo newsgroup saudipets@yahoogroups.com. Persian cats are so popular here in the Kingdom and available in all the pet stores. However, there are also many Saudi cats which require loving homes too. (Saudi pets will provide all the ins and outs on this and where to go as well!)
It’s mainly my husband and myself as the kids are all pretty much grown. I do agree, cats make great company.
Thanks again for your comment and following my musings.
Regards,
Carol
i DECIDED TO CHANGE TO WORDPRESS BUT HAVING PROBLEMS SHOWING MY BLOGROLL AND WANTED TO KNOW HOW I CAN ENCORPORATE MY FORMER BLOG INTO THE NEW ONE? HELP! :^)
Marianna,
Congratulations on making the switch – you will not regret it. I am by no means an expert at wordpress so I would suggest looking at the frequently asked questions via http://www.wordpress.com and if not successful, then place your query into the forums. I have found the wordpress gurus to be very responsive and helpful.
Thanks I will do that. I was able to encorporate my old blog but miss the country counter showing visits from all over the world. I will have to take some extra time and review all the neat tidbits. :^)
Hi Marianna,
We’ll have to compare notes and views. I’m also still learning myself. There is a lot more that I wish to do but have not quite figured it out yet. c’est la vie!
Carol, adding you to my regular read now. Great posts.
Thanks so much Hanie! I’m glad you are enjoying and appreciate your comments.
Regards,
Carol
Carol, I was looking high and low for your email in the blog, or was eyes playing tricks on me?
I am moving to Jeddah in 6 days. I am equally excited and terrified. My husband will be staying in Mexico at our home. I will be working at KAMC. I recently found your site. Any “right off the boat” advice that might make this not so overwhelming? Thank you in advance for any help.
Elizabeth,
What an exciting time for you. And it is also understandable that you would be nervous as well in making such a monumental change.
My blog site does have a search feature which will allow you to search using key words such as adjusting, housing, jeddah, culture shock, etc. I have written various posts on arriving in the Kingdom which I hope would be of assistance to you.
Additionally, you may also want to look at http://www.expatwomen.com and view what has been posted in the Saudi forum where I am the mentor.
To specifically respond to your query, keep an open mind; be prepared for the lifestyle and culture to be much different from Mexico; find your like-minded friends and build that support network; do not be alarmed if you also experience/encounter delayed culture shock. Last but certainly not least, keep a positive attitude and make the most of your time in the Kingdom. Reach out and get to know the Saudis as well as the other expatriots. Do not confine yourself solely to KAMC. Jeddah is a lovely city with much to explore and discover as well as being much more open than Riyadh.
Good luck to you!!
Thank you so much. I am sure that I will be visiting your site quite often. I do not know much about the housing I will be living in, but I really hope I am not place based on my citizenship. I want to be as close to the Saudi culture and people as I can be.
Again, thank you for your advice.
Elizabeth – if KAMC in Jeddah is like the institution in Riyadh you likely will be placed in housing with others from similar backgrounds if indeed not the same nationality. Your position will depend if you have your own villa or apartment or are sharing.
Most of the places will have a separate facility for Saudis housing.
However that being said, once you have made Saudi friends you will be able to visit back and forth. I say that but bear in mind that as a woman your institution policy may not allow you to have men come to your housing (even if wanting to have a husband/wife over for a visit).
Carol,
Your advice is amazing. I am on an unaccompanied contract, so I will be sharing an apartment with one other person. I have looked for any info out there on the way my arrangement will be, but no luck. I guess I will find out Monday!
I have been desperately trying to learn Arabic, at least the basics before I move, but I must admit, I am finding it to be much more challenging than the Spanish was. My husband speaks many languages, Arabic included, and is trying to help, but he gets pretty fustrated that my tongue is not agreeing to move the way it should on a lot of the sounds. How long did it take you to learn?
Again, thank you so much for your help. Your kind words help so much.
Elizabeth
Elizabeth,
My pleasure to assist. Yes; some institutions will provide housing arrangements in advance and let future “roomies” correspond while others wait until arrival. But again, depending on your position and institution, housing options can be varied.
In regards to Arabic, I took a formal course at a US institution before coming to the Kingdom and of course, having a native speaker in the house certainly helped facilitate. My tip is to get the alphabet down first in order to recognize and identify the letters. Then start reading the arabic newspapers (you can do this online). Begin with trying to comprehend the headlines and international weather (the words are repetitive and easier to understand) and then will lead to more. The Rosetta Stone (arabic) is an excellent interactive software program for additional practice. The key of course is just jump in and practice. Don’t worry as much about grammar in the beginning — native speakers will be pleased and want to help you.
Regards,
Carol
hi Carol, im just today read you blog. and im very interest to exchange any view with you about saudy’s society. but let my examination finish. then i will prepare to oppose all of your positive point about saudy, because almost your contetnt only describe the beautiful face of saudy, this is actually far away being fair to see something. but maybe what i said is hesitated. i think u’ve ever living in Pakistan or India, which made u can speak those languange. Congratulation, im glad to see that. sorry if my language so poor from TOELF or IELTS, because im speaking Arabic, Urdu and Malay every day. see u again…
Qastalany – thanks for reading and commenting. While I do not avoid negative views or opinions I am posting based on what I have experienced and observed. My blog is not intended as a platform for Saudi bashing as there is enough of that already. I want people to be better informed about the culture, traditions and every day life of living in the Kingdom.
Very-very diplomatic word.. im bored to hear that. LoL..
glad to provide some amusement!
Salam dear Carol, just came across your wonderful window into your experiences of being in Saudi…and some of the other blogs from within the Kingdom I never knew existed..feel as though I have just been on a great journey, JazakiLlahu khairan for sharing so much information along with your touching anecdotes and cat tales! I am an Australian in Madinah, and blogging about this incredible blessing.
Almiskeenah – thank you very much for your kind comments. it is a pleasure to hear from you and I hope that you will be a regular visitor. I know that I (and my readers) would also enjoy hearing about perspectives of an expat in Madinah for as you know, each city is so different and provides another snapshot of life in the Kingdom.
Best Regards,
Carol
Carol,
My husband is looking at a job in Riyadh. Both of us are Americans. I am a little concerned about safety and boredom-quite a combination. Any advice would be wonderful.
Thank you,
Kate
Carol,
Do you know if having a different last name than your husband is a problem?
Kate
Hi Kate and welcome! I suggest that in regards to learning more about safety or boredom, please read earlier posts on my blog in which these subjects have been covered in detail. I have numerous posts on what to see and do in Riyadh as well as many posts about safety, housing and general life.
The Saudi women will naturally have a different last name than their husband as they always retain their family name. Therefore it is not unusual for foreign women here to sometimes have differing names as well. And of course your iqama (residency permit) will indicate you and your husband are married in spite of different names so that would not be a problem.
The name change is an Islamic thingy for women, basically keeping your own identity. So everybodys name follows their parents and family names mostly.
I have a big issue with my name in Saudi. I have 3 names – family, me, dad in this very sequence. But Saudis usually use the me,dad,grandpa, family sequence. So my passport, certificates, all that have my own sequence, except for the Iqama.. which uses the Saudi sequence… why? i dunno .. and i am really annoyed with this. Maybe the Department just fills in the fields in their database and its automatically arranged.
Just recently my boss gave me my first advance pay cheque and asked me to write my name on it. Nothing to think about, I immediately wrote my name as in my passport/real life. Later at the bank, they asked for my Iqama and I wasnt entertained coz of the name change %^^& wat a bummer. It didnt help talking to the supervisor. He said ‘in saudi use saudi id’ .. like its my fault! i dint ask my name to be changed!
This happens in Travel Bookings also ! ! ! .. So be careful ye all !!!
Actually I can share a funny story in regards to names. When I was working as a diplomat in Pakistan, I was always referred to as “Ms. Carol.” So when I was getting ready to take a holiday back to the States I booked my travel through a travel agent I had gotten to know. When I received my ticket, to my shock and surprise the name on the ticket was “Ms Carol.” That was it…no surname! Needless to say, I had to get that changed.
Dear Carol and all that took the time to answer my question, Thank you so much. I feel much better! I did go and look at your blog and found it full of wonderful information.
I am thrilled you are here.
Kate
Kate,
Thank you and happy to know you’re back!
Regards,
Carol
Hello
Very interesting blog
I am Turkish and I also live in saudi Arabia.
Your blog’s title reminded me of the nickname I have given to my little nephew. I call him ”بدوي أشقر” (= blond badawi) coz he has some “bedu manners” ^_^
Wish you and your husband happiness and joy in your life together
Hi there and welcome to my blog!
Many thanks for your kind comments and hope to read more comments from you.
Regards,
Carol
Hello Carol
I am a french teacher ans I would like to contribute to the women education in Saudia by teachning them my language. I am finishing my MASTER in few months and looking for a job. But the pb is the IQAAAAAAMA!
All vacancies are for teachers who have always it. How can I obtain it?
PS. I precise that my husband is also french, and sport teacher.
Thank you very much!!!
You may want to talk with recruiting agencies for Saudi Arabia or look at some of the web sites of the larger Universities. For example, Al Yamamah University in Riyadh, King Saud University, Prince Sultan University are a few examples where they do sponsor teachers who have the appropriate qualifications. Although I do not know what kind of demand there is for French teachers in the Kingdom. I know there are classes but like you said, I think many of these are taught by individuals already here which may be because the demands in which individuals are sponsored are greater in other fields.
Hi Carol,
Well, my husband took the job in Riyadh and is already there! I will be traveling mid-April. We are in the Kingdom compound. Now, I need to find a way to meet other women. Any ideas? I did find a list of women’s groups but was unhappy to see many inactive. So, what are you doing for lunch any time after the end of April?
Kate
That’;s exciting news, Kate! The Kingdom compound is a lovely compound and should be an easy place to meet others. The compound will likely have various activities and post them in a central location for residents.
I also suggest if you have not done so, join the yahoo newsgroup expatsinsaudiarabia@yahoogroups.com and you will also meet many others.
Of course after you arrive in Riyadh I’d be delighted to hear from you!
Hi Caroll,
Thanks you for your response! I will let you know about the following.
Bye
Salam
I’m Thamer, I found this site very interesting and i hope i can join you and contribute with good subjects.
Carol, I have some kind of a problem, I always have been a student now I’ve worked in one of the biggest companies in SA ( Alhamdollah ) and somtimes I feel like i’m scared to death can you please help with my problem, thank you in advance.
Regarding to Almiskeenah I lived in Madinah my hole life but now i’ve moved to Riyadh if need any informatin about Madinah just let me know.
Regards,
Thamer
Thamer,
I’m glad you are enjoying the site.
I realize that when one makes the transition from being a student to a working professional it can be scary as there is a big contrast between the two! Not only that but you also shifted from your familar environment in Madinah to a new one in Riyadh. Those are 2 major life changes which can cause stress. So the good news is what you are going through is perfectly natural and better news is that the fear can be overcome.
It’s important to find supportive friends and of course, family too who will help you adapt to the new environment. I hope you have some family members in Riyadh.
If there is something more specific that has you unsettled separate from the new circumstances and environment, please let me know (comment or direct email) and I’d be happy to offer some advise.
Regarding Madinah, if you would allow me, I’d love to ask you various questions about Madinah (like an interview). If you’re amenable, please email me: american_bedu(at)yahoo.com
Regards,
Carol
Thamer,
I’m glad you are enjoying the site.
I realize that when one makes the transition from being a student to a working professional it can be scary as there is a big contrast between the two! Not only that but you also shifted from your familar environment in Madinah to a new one in Riyadh. Those are 2 major life changes which can cause stress. So the good news is what you are going through is perfectly natural and better news is that the fear can be overcome.
It’s important to find supportive friends and of course, family too who will help you adapt to the new environment. I hope you have some family members in Riyadh.
If there is something more specific that has you unsettled separate from the new circumstances and environment, please let me know (comment or direct email) and I’d be happy to offer some advise.
Regarding Madinah, if you would allow me, I’d love to ask you various questions about Madinah (like an interview). If you’re amenable, please email me: american_bedu(at)yahoo.com
Regards,
Carol
Salam
Thank you so much Carol that was helpful and yes I do have family in Riyadh
but I cant contact them that much they’re busy all the time.
Regarding to your requist I’d be happy to do so.
Regards,
Thamer
Salam Alaikum Thamer.
I’ll look forward to your email then so I can provide you with some questions!
Many thanks!
Hi Carol, I bumped into your website through google serach engine and just stayed and read through most of the posts and the “milan(meeting) story” between you and your husband. You see I got attracted to the url “delhicats…” and just explored.
I have enjoyed your site and will continue to visit and pen down something when it interest me.
Simmy,
Hi Simmy,
Thanks for your comment and will look forward to seeing you participate and comment more!
Best Regards,
Carol
Carol,
Can I get the e-mail of the man you posed a story on about marriage to a Saudi woman. I am an American living in Kuwait and I am also married to a Saudi woman. I would like to talk to him.
Regards,
(Jaber) Alexander ousley
Jaber,
Email me at american_bedu(at)yahoo.com. I will then email him your email address and he could respond to you directly if he chooses.
Best Regards,
Carol
Just curious if the Saudi police know that you are in the Kingdom and have this blog website? I presume not. How do you feel about the woman having to cover their entire body? Do most woman look forward to this or is it something dreaded?
Sincerely,
Stephanie
Although I do not understand the genesis of your question Stephanie, I can tell you that I am legally in the Kingdom. Whether the police specifically know I am in the Kingdom I can’t answer that and do not understand your question to that effect. My blog is certainly not a secret and quite public, otherwise you and everyone else would not be able to access it and the many other Saudi blogs cited on my blogroll.
In regards to women and covering, I suggest you do searches in the search bar on the word “cover” and you’ll find multiple posts which address this topic. There is no “one-size-fits-all” response for the question on whether most women look forward to covering or dread it; it is a case-by-case issue and of course depends on each individual woman and her cultural background, religious beliefs and preferences.
And in turn, especially in the Kingdom where modesty is a way of life, I certainly respect those who follow such practices. Bear in mind, if one is on a western compound how much one chooses to cover is usually very optional.
Welcome to the blog,
Carol
Hi Carol,
Thank you for your great blog. I enjoy reading through every topics that posted here in the blog. Indeed it is useful and information especially when it is related to one’s experience.
Bravo..keep it up!
Hi Sharie and welcome! Thanks so much for the warm comment.
Hi there,
Nice to meet you Carol. My life is the quite opposite. I’m a young Saudi who lived most of her live in the West (United States) and at the end of her journey had to reside in Saudi. I’m still a college student, and more outlook on life to see and learn.
Salamz,
N.
hi carol,
just happened to read ur blog by chance…. must say u have done great work…. i Indian guy here and have lived a few months in KSA.. still travel TO KSA for work….. well this blog must certainly be ur hobby i bet ,considering the time u have spent on it!!
keep up good work!!
N Alrajhi – Salam Alaikum and welcome. I am always very happy to have more Saudis who will share views bout life and experiences pertaining to the Kingdom. Welcome back home!
Aspire: Thanks for your comments…and yes, the blog has become an enjoyable pasttime for me.