I’ve had a series of serious posts on sensitive issues so I decided it was time for something light and entertaining.
This 24 minute video is worth watching in its duration and guaranteed to put a smile on your face!
I’ve had a series of serious posts on sensitive issues so I decided it was time for something light and entertaining.
This 24 minute video is worth watching in its duration and guaranteed to put a smile on your face!
Few details have emerged about a recent case of marriage but the details that are known are enough to raise eyebrows. A Saudi teacher told the man who proposed marriage to her she would only accept his proposal if her married two of her colleagues (and friends) at the same time.
The prospective groom was initially taken aback and seemed inclined to reject her conditions. But under pressure from relatives and friends, he acquiesced and married all three women .
After the marriage, he ensconced each bride in her own apartment within the same apartment building, allowing easy access to each other.
Polygamy is allowed within Islam and under certain conditions set out in the Quran, a man may have up to four wives.
However, in spite of being good friends, I wonder at the wisdom of three young women living in close proximity to one another and also working at the same facility while sharing the same husband is really a good idea. No matter how hard a man may try to be equal to all women in reality this rarely works. Even the Quran states how difficult it is for a man to be equal in time and feelings let alone material provisions when he has more than one wife.
In this case, I believe I feel sorry for the man and think the three female friends made a huge mistake in all marrying the same man. I see these conditions as prime for deteriorating the existing friendships between the women.
Filed under: culture, friendship, islam, relationships, religion, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi Living, Uncategorized | Tagged: blogging, culture, gender issues, heritage, islam, Love, marriage, religion, Saudi Arabia | 15 Comments »
Filed under: expat, expatriates, Freedoms, friendship, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, Saudi Living, Saudi Quiz, Technology, Uncategorized | Tagged: blogging, Saudi Arabia | 8 Comments »
I never noticed until being immune-suppressed how “touchy” a culture we have in America! While we do respect personal space, think about what happens when a typical American meets someone new or is just greeting someone they know. They shake hands, they hug, they kiss …. And they pat each other’s back! Because I am immune-suppressed due to my cancer (I have a very low immune system which makes me extra susceptible to catching a cold or a virus) I am prohibited from the traditional contact. When I go out to a public place I have to wear a face mask and sometimes gloves. Ironically this still does not keep Americans away from wanting to hug and pat the back!
Whereas in Saudi Arabia, even when one is not battling an illness, there can remain a reserve and a no-man’s land or red line that is not crossed. Men will shake hands with other men but probably not with other women. Women will air kiss and then sometimes shake hands with other women. There is not as much hugging as a greeting among either friends or strangers.
Why exactly do Americans like to hug and pat the backs of strangers? If you don’t want that to happen to you, you don’t have to resort to wearing a mask or gloves, simply cross your arms over your chest when greeting someone. This is a universal sign of greeting but without touch!
Filed under: America, culture, expat, expatriates, Freedoms, friendship, gender, islam, relationships, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, travel, Uncategorized | Tagged: America, blogging, culture, culture shock, customs, heritage, Relationship, Saudi Arabia | 7 Comments »
It’s almost Janadriyah time! The Janadriyah festival is the annual highlight for both Saudis and expatriates in the Kingdom. It is the annual cultural festival which showcases the traditions and customs of each Province within the Kingdom. It is the best event that is produced and held in the Kingdom and provides the best image of Saudi Arabia.
The Janadriyah festival begins on 04 April and will last for 17 days. There will be separate hours and/or days for men, women and families so be sure to check out the schedule.
Each year the Janadriyah festival will have special events oftentimes featuring different countries with which Saudi Arabia has special relationships. This year the Janadriyah festival will feature a 2,000 square meter China Pavilion. In addition to Saudi Arabia, visitors will also receive a taste of China. The China Pavilion will feature traditional Chinese handicrafts, artifacts, clothes and textiles, along with modern products using state-of-art methods and devices of display.
Another hallmark of the Janadriyah Festival will be the annual camel race. This race will have participants from throughout the GCC, Sudan and of course, Saudi Arabia and showcase the different camels.
The first four days starting Tuesday, April 4 through Sunday, April 7 will be for single men and the remaining 12 days will be for families, from 4 p.m. to 12 midnight. Students have been allotted three hours starting 9 a.m. during April 6 to 10.
The Janadriyah festival is one event anyone in the Kingdom or who is able to travel to the Kingdom will not want to miss. It’s too bad Saudi Arabia does not allow tourism visas for the Janadriyah festival showcases the best of the Kingdom and could bring in thousands of visitors to the Kingdom just for this specific event.
Filed under: Animals, Charity, culture, Entertainment, expat, expatriates, Food, friendship, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, Saudi Living, Uncategorized | Tagged: blogging, culture, heritage, history, KSA, Saudi Arabia | 5 Comments »
Other than the fact it is only men participating, this flash mob could have taken place in just about anywhere in the world. It featured music, dancing and individuals having a great time. What makes this flash mob unique, is that it took place in conservative Saudi Arabia where dancing and music are usually prohibited in public places. Yet in this flash mob, you do not see a single member from the Ministry of the Protection of Virtual and Prevention of Vice (Muttawa) on site. Instead, it is people who are all enjoying themselves and having a good time. Yes; when panning to the crowd the women are wearing abayas but in most cases have not covered their face. There are young men wearing shorts and many others in typical Western dress as seen in New York, London or Paris. This event was part of a promotion for a company based in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. While it may not be what some would view as a “traditional” flash mob, it is a flash mob Saudi style which was undoubtedly a success!
Filed under: abbya, culture, Dress, Entertainment, expat, expatriates, Freedoms, friendship, Music, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi Living, Technology, Uncategorized | Tagged: blogging, culture, islam, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture | 3 Comments »
Thank you so much for the opportunity. It’s an honor to be on your blog!
I want to add that I use your blog as one of my resources to keep myself updated with news about home!
I am from Makkah but I have been living in Jeddah for the last 14 years, I usually joke around and tell people I’m from the Highway (Khat Alsaree3!!)
I received my BA and MA in Linguistics from King AbdulAziz University. I started off teaching English in a center during my sophomore year summer break and continued doing that until my graduation. After graduation I worked with Effat University and have been with them ever since until I received the King Abdullah Scholarship through the university. My last post before I left for my PhD was the Enhancement Centers manager in Student Affairs.
I chose the US and specifically the Midwest because I grew up within the area; my father was doing his PhD in the University of Madison Wisconsin when I was young. I had a wonderful childhood experiencing all the seasons and the Midwest friendliness.
I am majoring in Higher Education Student Affairs which is part of the School of Education. Currently higher education is a rapidly developing field that governments and economists have taken interest in. The literature points out that there is a need for professionalism in this area and I couldn’t agree more. The economy is in the need for a holistic graduate that can work immediately upon entering the society. It is very important to note the sensitive role that higher ed faculty and staff play in an individual’s life,
Through my work in student affairs I have worked on projects that focus on students extracurricular skills, this helped develop my main research interest which is student adjustment and development. The main goal behind the PhD was to enhance my experience by learning more about theories and practiced methods that I could benefit from and use when I return to work in Saudi Arabia.
I have noticed that higher education in the US is more of a lifestyle where you live and breathe books, papers, conferences, study groups..etc. Back home I felt that university to me was a responsibility like a job or basic school where attendance is required but then after 2 or 4 pm, the day is done and other aspects of life take over.
This is more or less enhanced by the fact that higher education is socially considered a turning point for most people in the United States where moving out of the family house into dorms is the norm whereas in Saudi Arabia, unless married, very few leave the state of dependency.
I think there is an educational system set for every need and ability. When I was looking for universities I was told by many to choose one in the UK because of the closer distance to Saudi, the fact that the time period to get a PhD is less and that they require no graduate standardized tests. The main reason that I stuck to my decision was that most (if not all) university programs I looked at required a minimum of courses. I felt that especially since I was venturing into a new field that I would need some classes that allowed me to read and research different fields. This was the gap I was looking to fill. I worked in Student affairs for a long time, but I believe that to achieve productive quality work a person must now about all the dynamics of the institute he or she is working in. Knowing what others did in your field will help you see the overall picture and make clearer decisions for the benefit of the whole institution.
Indiana University Bloomington has a fairly large campus with more than 5,941international students. However I am the only international student in my cohort. I was also the only married female with kids. They were all nice and friendly but it was not easy to relate to anyone. I am on a scholarship and they all have graduate assistantships. I have to go back home immediate after class for my kids and they went out together after work. But it was very comforting to know that we were all there with more or less the same background experience. And we were all from different parts of higher education learning about the other parts together. In regards to dealing with male faculty and students I admit I was a bit timid. I did try something to help me – I gave them a neutral status – hahaha – I de-gendered them all! It was actually a method that worked really well with me. I was already intimidated by being outside my comfort zone I really did not need that extra stress!!
Plenty! During my first year in the US I was on my own with my two children. My husband stayed behind because of his job. I had many turning points in my life and this certainly was one of the major ones. I had to learn to be available as I could not depend on anyone but myself when it comes to my children and their needs. I learned to budget (!) and compare prices. I wasn’t driving when I first arrived and taking the bus was frightening. I had a bike which I used for the first few months until a rainy day where I was forced to use the number 9 bus – I even called my friends in Saudi to let them know about my 10 minute adventure! It was a journey for me, I have never felt so vulnerable, I learned to ask for help which was very difficult for me. I always had help available: my driver, maid, my mother, sister, grandmother… I was never in need to go out and ask for assistance.
I believe that I have changed and am progressing to a more independent nature. I feel more confident about making my own decisions. If anything I realized how much I took for granted. I think like anyone I wanted to experience a different life and was keen on leaving my comfort zone and starting my adventure. I am enjoying my adventure but with an added feeling of looking forward towards the ending and returning home.
One of the most important changes that happened to me is on the personal side. My husband and I decided at the beginning that it would be best if he stayed in Saudi while I left with the kids and did my best to finish as soon as possible. It was a difficult decision but we decided to go for it for a year and if it didn’t work out we would have to give up something. That whole academic year was the toughest challenge of my life. I realized the importance of a family being together. I realized that while independence was a gift it did not mean detaching yourself. My children needed their father; I needed my husband’s support. I realized that needing him was not a weakness. I grew up with a lot of feminist books and always wanted to prove that I can exist on my own. I still think it is important to be strong however a partnership cans the best place to derive strength from. My husband has generously left his job and joined us now. He is discovering new interests and working on a non-degree program. I am very blessed
My life in Saudi was hectic! I worked long hours, volunteered at my children’s school, participated in social events, always on lookout for new extracurricular activities for the kids, I was always pushing for time for my husband, parents, grandmother, siblings all that while trying to maintain the best acceptable social life I could! It was crazy, I had so many things to do and was home very little.
Now? well Bloomington is a very calm and peaceful place and it kind of rubbed off on me. My children still have their after school activities which is great for them. We have more family time than we ever had before. We have movie nights at home around a fire. We have small Arab gathering almost every other week. My husband and I have peaceful mornings where we go out and walk.
I miss my family, my grandmother lived close by to me and I visited her as frequently as possible. Her windows bring in a beautiful breeze even on the hottest days. She would tell me stories or talk about a soap she was watching. I miss her tremendously.
I miss my sisters!!!
In general I miss the social life and the easiness of becoming part of a social circle. I feel that I am experiencing this alienation because I am a foreigner here and every time I meet someone I take time to introduce myself and my background not that I don’t enjoy that but I do miss the familiarity. On the other hand I have more time to myself and my small family. I have been able to explore my own individuality; I make my decisions without too many outside factors influencing my opinion. In the end there are two things that are very important to me now; my family and my studies.
I have been through this adjustment process when I was young, this was when my father received his PhD and we returned to Makkah. It was not easy and it was a tough road, but with support and understanding from my parents I was able to face the differences. But when I think about it now and how it will be after I return, I don’t feel any fear. I am actually thinking on how I can keep some of the independent lifestyle I have here. In your blog you mentioned the washing machines and the dependency on maids. I laughed thinking if I could depend on myself and have my home all to myself; that would be amazing.
I don’t fear people reaction much. I think this is attributed to the fact that Saudi’s (in Jeddah specifically) have a more understand view of cultural and social differences. I have been criticized of being an optimist when it comes to my view of Saudi. But I truly believe that we have developed and moved forward and will work to make a better life for each other. Lots of disasters and difficulties in the society have led to self-initiated changes. That’s the spark that we needed and through education ourselves we must work on bettering ourselves for the sake of bettering our society.
I was accompanied by my husband when I first arrived; he did go back but visited every couple of months. After convincing my family my younger brother joined me for a short while, he was accepted in a university in the US and the UK but believe it or not he returned to Saudi because he could never feel at home anywhere else.
In regards to driving I was very scared of the whole experience and as soon as I got to Bloomington I was sent the booklet and some helpful hints for the writing test! I guess the ladies were excited on introducing me to driving. I took my time though and after I passed the test I needed to wait six months before I took my driving test because I had no previous license which was fine for me I was not looking forward to driving during rain or on icy roads. Once my husband was here he found me a driving instructor (saying that he couldn’t do it and that I needed someone with more professional teaching skills, I think he was just afraid I would use his car to learn!!) anyway I passed the test and received my license within three weeks. I do have to say that I still ask my husband to drive me everywhere (Saudi habit) and I only drive when I absolutely have to. I walk most of the time – I don’t get to do that back home so I try to enjoy myself as much as I can.
Bloomington is a funny place in Indiana. It is the most culturally diverse town in Indiana. I think that everyone here is more or less accepted and free to be themselves.
Before I came to the B-town I emailed a lot of people! I reached out to a moms group which helped me in locating the best schools. The department’s assistant was great in introducing me to the right people. Everyone that I talked to was really helpful. When I got here my advisor did a great job in welcoming me and gaining my trust, he works with many international students and I think my fears were things that he worked with before. He was my rock.
I have lovely Kuwait neighbors who have been wonderful and supportive.
As a Saudi student I must admit that I did not find much support from the Saudi society. After all I was without my husband so they really didn’t know I was there. Once I became familiar with my surrounding, I would go up to Saudi students that looked new and would ask them if I could help them in anyway. I met and made friends with a lot of Saudi’s that way. I think that was how one day I woke up to find myself nominated as the Saudi Club president! I declined though because I didn’t want anything to take me away from my kids and studies – I was hardly able to juggle those two things.
I can’t say it was easy and I can’t say it was hard. I am a very social person and tend to say Salam to people I meet and introduce myself. At the beginning I kept to myself and my Kuwaiti neighbor was probably the only person I knew. I then started to meet moms of my children’s friends which was a great thing. They were there for me and I am very grateful to them. I have made many friends after that as I gained confidence and became more adjusted. My husband and I joined many social groups which increased our social circle.
Like I mentioned before I am very much relaxed now, I have my studies and my small family to take care of. I take every day as it comes. I don’t plan much. I feel as though I am on vacation sometimes!! This does not apply to the end of semesters by the way!
I am very happy to be representing my country. I love clarifying misunderstandings and sharing experiences. Listening to others and realizing how we are all more or less the same. I once heard someone say that we are all foreigners. That is such a true statement.
One event I can remember was when I was asked to give a presentation about Saudi Arabia during the Saudi national day. I was never so proud of being a Saudi more than that day. I started of the presentation with the national anthem, everyone joined. The proud faces and enthusiastic voices were very moving.
One of the things that I still struggle with is my hijab. People are curious and I find it difficult to handle all the staring and turning of heads. I don’t know if I have overcome it completely but I can say that I am more confident as time goes by. The most difficult part of the challenge knows that I am being judged according to my appearance. I wear my hijabs different every time just so that I leave people guessing which can actually be fun. People now come up and ask my husband and I where we are from. We get very interesting guesses!
Get to know the people around you. Learn from them. Do not isolate yourselves and allow different people to come in contact with you. I have seen students that spend more than a year in the US and still struggle with communicating and adjusting. Join clubs, volunteer, go to study groups, learn about others talk about yourself. Most important be simple. Do not worry about your typos, or how you might be understood or what one would think of you if you did something. And as I always tell my brothers have fun but be careful!
Being abroad is an opportunity to gain new experiences and learn more about you. Don’t waste it!
I grew up in the midwest and spent a few vacations there after we returned to live in Saudi.
Americans and Saudis are different like any other culture is different to another. I even feel the Gulf States are very different to an extent too. However I do feel there is a more simplicity to the American Culture in comparison to the perfection that I see many Saudis seek. I would relate that theory to the openness and hospitality issue. I found both cultures display the same generosity and warmth but with varying degrees. Americans are more honest about their priorities and value their time and schedule. Surprising them with a visit would not be suggested. Saudi people on the other hand would cancel their appointments and call for catering even if it was a difficult time.
First of all I am very blessed to have the support of my father and husband when it came to my career. From the time my father told me that I was a good writer and I shouldn’t waste my time in a science major I knew that he always took my happiness seriously. When I received my scholarship he encouraged me to apply to universities and go ahead with the process, “You never know what will happen just go ahead and do it!”Alhamdulliah I did. My husband has been my support from day one. He never let me miss an opportunity. I am thankful for having him in my life. My family has always been a supporter of education in fact my mother will be finished with her qualification exams soon! Go Mama!! I am very blessed Mashala.
My husband and I are working hard on helping each other study after all we are the working kind where after the kids sleep it means its grownup time and we go out, socialize or just watch a movie. Now we have to help each other find quiet time and take turns putting the kids to sleep when the other has a deadline. Its great education for us!!
I have matured and I like to think that I am more careful and perceptive about my decisions. I give myself more time to think and rationalize and I allow myself to make mistakes and learn from them. I know I am being very theoretical, I am after all studying for a degree in Philosophy!!
I care very much about student development and understand the importance of adjustment. I believe that a happy student is a successful student. I would be very happy to help as much as I can student that are facing difficulties with their surroundings and in need of assistance.
Thank you so much for this opportunity. I have to say that I loved answering your questions more than writing my papers!
For the number of international students at IUB:
(2012) Another record year for international student enrollment reported at Indiana University. Retrieved from: http://newsinfo.iu.edu/news/page/normal/23098.html
IU Image: projectformica.blogspot.com
PHD image: distance-learning-college-guide.com
single parenting image: buzzle.com
grandmother image: papercuts.blogs.splitcoaststamps.com
car keys image: plazaautomotive.com
IU Hoosiers image: coolspotters.com
Family First image: familiesfirstcolorado.org
Be positive image: lifereflexology.blogspot.com
Filed under: America, culture, Freedoms, friendship, gender, Interview, relationships, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, Saudi Living, travel, Uncategorized | Tagged: America, blogging, culture, customs, heritage, KSA, Saudi Arabia | 20 Comments »
American Bedu Guest Post by Lily Lowton:
Middle Eastern nations are not renowned for their love of snow sports, given that there is very little snow fall in these hot, dusty countries. Saying that, sometimes things the unexpected does happen, and only a couple of months ago the mountain regions of northwest Saudi Arabia was treated to some very rare snowfall to the delight of locals living there. The usual lack of snow here does not mean the people have no desire to try exhilarating activities like skiing, snowboarding, or tobogganing. For the people of Saudi Arabia, hitting the slopes means heading off to colder climates on ski holidays, but this is all set to change. Inspired by the success of Ski Dubai’s’ 22,500 square meter indoor ski resort, complete with real snow, ski-lifts, and even jumps, Saudi Arabia are now ready to bring snow sports home. Skiing, snowboarding, and tobogganing will be found all under one roof at a new indoor snow village that could trump all the other indoor ski slopes out there in the desert.
A Snow Village in a Super Mall
The brand new Al Qasr Mall opened little more than 6 months ago, located within one of Saudi Arabia’s international hubs, the city of Riyadh. It is here that the new snow village will be built, thanks to a deal between the huge construction firm Dar Al Arkan and the Al Othaim Investment and Teal Estate Development Company. Now this isn’t the first attempt at bringing snow to Riyadh, as there is already a ‘Snow World’ in the city, on King Abdulla Street opposite the Al Ameer Salman Center. It is possible to ski here, but there is no ski-lift on the slope and it is depressingly short. The new snow village planned will be “the first indoor snow village of its type,” according to a statement issued by its developers. It has also been revealed that a 10,693 square meter area of the Al Qasr mall has been set aside for the new snow village, but little else is known about the development.
Real Saudi Ski Resorts
While an indoor ski resort in Saudi Arabia is a realistic idea, a more unbelievable and exciting suggestion would be actual outdoor ski resorts, but believe it or not it could happen. Saudi entrepreneurs have seen the demand for snow sports facilities in the country, and have actually attempted to build ski resorts in mountainous areas of southwest Saudi Arabia, next to the border with Yemen. The plan is to use snow making machines to provide the snow, but as it stands there are still no ski resorts in Saudi Arabia… yet.
The Next Best Thing?
While you may be forgiven in thinking that there simply cannot be that much demand for skiing and snowboarding in Saudi Arabia, think again. Sure, the lack of consistent snow stops most people in their tracks, but some innovative, and perhaps crazy, people have thought outside the box when it comes to getting the thrills enjoyed while skiing. One Austrian ski instructor missed the snow so much while in Saudi Arabia he decided to have a go at what he must have thought to be the next best thing… heading into the desert and see if he could find a slope of sand to slide down. The video below captures his commendable attempt.
As you can see, this does not quite cut it, and something a little more extreme was thought up by some daredevil locals. A car and some sandal with wheels attached were all these guys needed to replicate skiing Saudi style.
An Expats Delight
With plenty of expats living and working in Saudi Arabia, missing the snow could become a thing of the past once the new indoor slope is finished. Being able to slip into those ski boots after work and spend an hour improving your carving skills a few weeks before heading off to the Alps will surely be welcomed. You never know, it is always possible that Saudi Arabia will begin to breed its own snow sports superstars of the future, but perhaps that is going a little too far. One thing that does seem sure though, is that skiing in the desert is now here to stay.
Filed under: Economy, Entertainment, expat, expatriates, Freedoms, friendship, Hobbies, Just for fun, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi Living, shopping, Sports, Uncategorized | Tagged: blogging, culture, Fun, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia | 10 Comments »
“Ignite is an international geek event for people with passion and eagerness to know and share. The speakers share their personal and professional stories to inspire you. Ignite was started by Brady Forrest, who is the Technology Evangelist for O’Reilly Media, and by Bre Pettis of Makerbot.com The first Ignite took place in Seattle in 2006, and since then the event has become an international phenomenon, with gatherings in Helsinki, Finland; Paris, France; New York, New York; and many other locations.
At Ignite Jeddah, 20 well-known and educated youth will talk about their personal and professional stories. It’s going to be a wonderful night of motivation and success stories. The event is hosted by Effat University, and organized by theEffat SG (Effat University Student Government). It will take place of 7th March in the Effat Hall from 5:00 – 10:30 PM
Registration is at -> http://ignitejeddah-es2005.eventbrite.com/?rank=1
Tickets cost only 100 SR and they will be sold at Virgin Megastores and at the day of the event. It’s very important to register online, and once the tickets are available e-mails will be sent to the people who registered.
To stay in touch with us->
Phone:+96626364300 Ext : 5405
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IgniteJeddah ”
Filed under: culture, Economy, Entertainment, expat, expatriates, Freedoms, friendship, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi education, Saudi Living, Technology, Uncategorized | Tagged: blogging, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia | Leave a comment »
Marriage should be viewed as a lifetime commitment between a man and a woman. With marriages that are arranged between family members or a matchmaker, a young man or woman may be uncertain on what they believe they should know in advance of marriage.
Many Saudi families who have arranged a marriage for a son or daughter will generally at some point allow the young couple to have (chaperoned) time together where they can speak and ask questions of each other. This meeting, although in most cases viewed as a mere formality, is also the opportunity for the couple to determine if they are truly compatible with one another.
Not all marriages are taking place between young men and women who are getting married for the first time. In some cases one half of the couple may have been widowed or divorced or in other cases, a woman may be agreeing to become a second, third or fourth wife of a Saudi man.
American Bedu received a list of issues which should be taken into consideration prior to a commitment of marriage. This list is a guideline and written from a Western perspective. Yet it raises many important issues that do impact on the ability to have a successful marriage and relationship and how well suited a couple are to one another based on their upbringing, culture and values:
1. Relationship Options and Goals
2. Family Background
3. Home Roots location and Culture
4. Family Values
5. Educational background
6. IQ indicators
7. Decision making ability
8. Sense of humor
9. Verbal skills
10. Religious background/Tradition
11. Level of religious participation
12. Openness to religious discussions/learning
13. Personal Faith
15. Relationship with children
16. Parenting skills
17. Parenting styles
19. Work background
20. Current living situation (own/renting – house/apt etc)
21. income level
22. Personal Health issues
23. Physical Attraction
24. Physical Preferences
25. Physical Turn-offs
26. Definition of Intimacy
27. Desire for Intimacy
28. Capacity for intimacy
29. Sexual Experience
30. Sexual Preferences
31. Sexual Desires
32. Previous relationships
33. Relationship(s) with X’s
34. Bad or Repulsive habits
35. Pet peeves
36. Meyers-Briggs Temperament Type
37. Biorhythm Cycle
a. Biorhythm compatibility
i. Intellectual – 60% Ideal
ii. Physical – 60% Ideal
iii. Emotional – 80% Ideal
iv. Overall – 80% ideal
38. Match.com personality type
40. Circle of Friends
41. Relationship with Father
42. Relationship with Mother
43. Relationship with Siblings
44. Previous personal Crises encountered and endured
45. Any Healing/Grieving processes not completed
46. Personal Hygiene Standards & values
47. Physical Conditioning standards & values
48. Any health problems or limitations? (revisit this again at later phases In the relationship)
49. Cooking skills
50. Entertaining skills
51. Expressed Social skills
52. Observed Social skills,
a. Large Group
b. Small Group
d. With Wait Staff
e. With Retail CSRs
53. Past Huge Emotional Events – life changing level
54. Unfinished business – personal emotional, legal, financial actions that are still unresolved.
55. Favorite foods
56. Favorite colors
57. Clothing style preferences
58. Income needs to support style of living
59. Financial stability
60. Tax returns
61. Personal Values
62. Personal Crusades
63. Personal Prejudices’
64. Personal Passions
65. Personal Political views/passions
66. Values indicated by the lifestyles and habits of your children
67. Relationship with your children
68. Importance of family
69. Your Interaction with my family
70. Your acceptance of my family – as they are
71. My families acceptance of you
72. Pets acceptance of you
73. Your acceptance of my pet(s)
74. Temper/Anger management
75. Argument/fighting skills/styles
76. Emotional “Hot Buttons”
77. Any Baggage
78. Preferred Living situation
79. Realistic Living expectations
80. Personal Dreams/Goals and Aspirations
81. Willingness to relocate
82. Willingness to commit
83. Number of previous LTR’s
84. Longest relationship – what kept it together?
85. Strongest relationship – How and why was it so?
86. Number of previous engagements
87. Number of previous marriages
88. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, how attracted are you to me?
89. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, how willing are you to commit to being exclusive in our relationship?
90. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, how accepting would you be “at this time” to a proposal of marriage, if one was made?
91. Divorce Redlines/Limits – what things would you divorce your spouse for?. .physical abuse? …Drug addiction? & HOW does this reconcile with Forgiveness Promise?
92. Taste in:
93. Attraction to others outside the relationship, including porn
94. Man Toys
95. Guns at home
96. Division of HH Chores
b. Yard work
c. Car Maint,
d. Handy Man Stuff
e. TP – over/under
97. Roles in Marriage
99. TV habits
100. Ideal Vacation, Travel
103. Retirement Goals
104. Arrests/Illegal Activities/ Drug use
105. Handling Money
a. Budgeting habits
c. Saving habits
d. Investment Habits
106. Bucket List
107. Personal History of Faithfulness to partners in the past..
108. Love Language….
109. Birth Date
110. Sporting Activities and Viewing
111. How/where and with whom do you celebrate major holidays..
“List: Copyright 2013, by Stan Tucker”
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