I have to remember that not everyone has been following my blog since its conception in 2006. Some readers are newer to the blog and would prefer to have questions answered directly rather than use the blog search option or category search option. I don’t mind. It’s always a pleasure to respond to requests from readers.
“Since you traveled around to so many countries, why did you pick a man from Saudi Arabia to get married to knowing what kind of life women have over there? Why are you no longer living there with such a grand life as they are enjoying in Saudi Arabia these days with such high economical success compared to the US being next to being in poverty? What kinds of problems did you have with his family accepting you, or was it easy for them to accept you because of your high power compared to an ordinary American woman?”
It’s not so much as I deliberately “picked” a man from Saudi Arabia but rather I fell in love with a man who shared my same values and outlooks on life. He just happened to be a Saudi national. Back in 2007 I wrote a post about how we initially met and our continuing love story. If my husband and I did not have shared values I doubt I could have fallen in love with him. I knew with confidence that once I agreed to be his wife he was going to provide me with a good life in Saudi Arabia. However, I underscore that our courtship was over a period of several years and I was well familiar with Saudi Arabia’s customs, cultures and traditions prior to arrival. Our families were also known to one another.
As to why I am no longer living a grand life in Saudi Arabia…that is another story unto itself. The insidious disease of cancer is why we left Saudi Arabia in 2009 in the first place. My late husband had a rare and aggressive leukemia. His only chance towards extending life was to have a stem cell transplant. Both of us arrived in the United States optimistic that after my late husband’s treatment, we would both return to our life in Saudi Arabia. However, as we know, the best laid of plans can be thrown a curve ball. My husband took a turn for the worse and at the same time, my own cancer relapsed. Abdullah did get to return home but it was to say ‘goodbye’ and be laid at rest in his homeland. I continue to fight my own battle against Stage IV breast cancer to this very day. I’m not making that statement for pity or sympathy but simply stating the facts. With Abdullah’s death and my own battle, I have chosen to remain in the United States close to my family who helps take care of me and support me.
Thankfully I did not encounter problems of acceptance with my late husband’s family. They made me most welcome. My mother-in-law was my champion. She presented and introduced me to the extended Saudi family. From the first day we met and hug, she treated me as a daughter. When I had a mastectomy while in the hospital, it was Mama Moudy who stayed on a small cot in my hospital room beside me.
I never viewed or thought of myself as having “high power” as compared to an American woman. In the eyes of my husband’s family, I was the woman he had chosen to love and make his wife. That was what mattered most to them and to me. I know they accepted me for who I am as a person and not because of my nationality or past achievements.
Thank you to a reader for asking these questions. I’m always happy to respond. –American Bedu
nb: I encourage readers to also click on the hyper links within the post for additional details which add to the substance of the post and the questions which were asked.
Filed under: Abdullah, America, breast cancer, cancer, culture, Health, relationships, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi Living Tagged: | America, blogging, cancer, culture, gender issues, heritage, Love, marriage, Relationship, Saudi Arabia