I have a question. How and when does a woman living in polygamy tell her children that Daddy has another family? How does polygamy impact on the children? Does it make him or her feel less wanted by the father?
An interview that I conducted back in April 2009 was with a Saudi woman who grew up in a family of polygamy. Her words continue to pierce my heart as she shared her perspective.
“I resented my “other” family terribly when I was little. I love my father, and adored him when I was small, but he was always so busy. When he came to see us, it was primarily to see my mother (can you say conjugal visit?). I tried hard in everything to make him notice me and my efforts.”
In another earlier interview from May 2008 another Saudi woman shared very candidly what it felt like to grow up in polygamy.
“For me, I didn’t like my father having more than one wife. It was not good for us; not from my father but because of the woman. She will never like the other wife, for sure. At least that’s my feeling about that. I also do not like any man who will have many wives. It is not good for the kids. Yes, 100%, it is not good for the kids.”
Saudi Life had a recent article which tackles mothering while in a polygamous relationship. I think the author provides practical and sincere advice but the overall reality of being a child or a mother in polygamy is not cut and dried as American Bedu earlier interviews illustrate.
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