Yesterday I wrote a post defining Ramadan with an emphasis on how it is observed in Saudi Arabia. Proceeding on the premise that there is a basic understanding of Ramadan, I’m now continuing with how Non-Muslims can further understand and practice “Ramadan etiquette.”
First of all, do not be shy or hesitant as a Non-Muslim to wish Muslims “Ramadan Kareem” or “Ramadan Mubarak.” This is the same as wishing a Christian Easter greetings. It is also appropriate to mail or send an e-card to Muslims wishing them a Ramadan Kareem or Ramadan Mubarak.
An expatriate in Saudi Arabia will likely notice Muslims moving more slowly during Ramadan. Muslims around the world may move or react more slowly due to the effects of fasting. This is a time for non-Muslims to show compassion. Rather than be impatient if a question is not answered immediately, smile and be patient. Demonstrate understanding.
I strongly recommend non-Muslims take consideration of Muslims during the fasting hours. When possible, do not eat or drink in their presence during non-fasting hours. Do not offer a Muslim food or drink during Ramadan fasting hours believing it is necessary towards hospitality. During Ramadan a Muslim will appreciate the understanding and not take offense but rather relief at not being offered food or drink.
A non-Muslim is not expected or required to refrain from eating or drinking during Ramadan fasting hours. However it is recommended that a non-Muslim eat or drink away from the presence of the one who is fasting.
If a non-Muslim receives an invitation to share an iftar with a Muslim, accept with joy and honor! Be on time, if not a few minutes early. Iftar, breaking of the fast, is one time where it is okay to start eating whether any or all guests have arrived. A Saudi may feel obligated to wait for a delayed guest even if it meant delaying his or her own iftar.
A non-Muslim may prepare an iftar for a Muslim and especially if it is a Muslim away from home and/or family. If choosing to do so, ensure that all foods provided are halal and absolutely have no pork products in any ingredients. Additionally, have the food ready and waiting to eat for iftar.
Do not smoke or have alcoholic beverages in the presence or around a Muslim during Ramadan. Alcoholic beverages are always viewed as haram (forbidden) and smoking is generally stopped or limited by Muslims during Ramadan.
While Muslims may hug or kiss on cheeks during Ramadan, there are to be no physical or intimate relations while fasting. Intimacy may be resumed after breaking of the fast but not during the fasting hours. Therefore some Muslims may seem remote or distance themselves during the fasting periods.
It is a kind gesture to present Muslims with packages of dates or some type of sweet during Ramadan –and- after the fast has been broken.
Ramadan is an appropriate time to reach out to the Saudi students (and other Muslim students) who are away from their home countries and families. Because Ramadan is one of the most special and closest times for families, a warm gesture of friendship, understanding and compassion would be greatly appreciated.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you for the informative post!!! <3
Thank you so much for this post!
It is indeed very important for non-Muslims to show even more understanding, compassion and tolerance during Ramadan. I am happy the national news on tv talk about the beginning of Ramadan
that’s a good start to expose non-Muslims to Ramadan too.
Thank Ya’ll for your kind appreciation!
This takes me back in time. I’m curious to see how my Ramadan experience this year compares to that. A beautiful post. Salaam!
Salam Alaikum, Saladin. Thank you!
very nicely written carol. It’s not hard to be nice
Thank you for the tips, very useful.
Very helpful and informative post!
Saudi / Muslim students may also be sluggish in class as well, which is something for instructors to keep in mind. A lot of English programs will be kicking off the fall session in a week or two, so it would be important to note that the Muslim students won’t be able to eat or drink at any welcome parties (unless it happens late enough)!
For me, the biggest struggle I have faced when fasting is just getting a really bad headache, which can make life miserable!
My biggest hardship while fasting was putting up with my husband, the ardent smoker, who made everyones day hell with his constant bad temper. I was rather happy when he chose to sleep the day away.
Quote: It is indeed very important for non-Muslims to…. and so on
This is all well and good, but a simple question pops into mind: Do Muslims ever have to consider the feelings and beliefs of non-Mulims? It is always Non-Muslims that have to tiptoe around Muslims, be understanding, be considerate, not offend. This is not restricted to Ramadan or even to islamic societies. I don’t think this is healthy for anybody, including Muslims. Thoughts?????
Anyway, Carol, that remark was not the original idea I had here – it just came into mind. What I would like you to expound upon (in your usual down to earth way) is the issue relating to Ramadan in non-Muslim countries, particularly those in high latitudes where the sun doesn’t cooperate to make things easy. How do Muslims handle the 18-19 hour days and 5-6 hour nights? What if above the artic circle and Ramadan has progressed/regressed into the Winter months? 3 months is a very long day or night for fasting.
Jay kactuz- I dont think its about tiptoeing around Muslims at all but just a matter of mutual respect. A person, upon being told that its a sensitivity, can react in whatever manner they personally deem fit. I live in a majority muslim country but we have absolute respect for the other races when it comes to their sensitivity like for e.g we would avoid or separate beef from the menu for our Hindu guests etc.
Regarding the issue of fasting in non muslim countries with high latitudes, I’ve had the experience of 16hr fasts while living in Europe and managed it quite well I must say with the sweltering heat as well! My daughter who lives in Norway has been able to observe Ramadan both during the summer months and short winter. I guess its HAVE FAITH WILL FAST!
Good advice. Thanks!
@Jay,
I’ll be happy to write a future post during Ramadan about challenges of fasting abroad (ie, outside of a majority Muslim country) as well as when the days are longer. Thanks for the suggestion.
I’m also now thinking of writing a post (at the appropriate times) relating to various American holidays and customs too which Muslims may not understand as clearly.
@ Jay, Shari, et al.
I don’t consider it “tip-toeing” around Muslims, but rather being aware of and supportive of religious differences. For me, spending Thanksgiving away from the US one year was tough (and that’s not even a religious holiday), so I can only imagine what it would be like for Muslims to be away from loved ones due to work, school, etc. during the month of Ramadan. As Shari mentioned, I, too, try not to serve beef around my Hindu friends. Honestly, I feel a bit awkward eating meat around vegetarians as well. For me, it’s a matter of respect. I don’t mind doing things a bit different out of respect for another way of living. As long as it’s not hurting anyone else, I don’t see why we shouldn’t respect others’ beliefs.
Bedu,
I would also love to hear your views on the challenges of celebrating Ramadan abroad as well as how American holidays and customs are viewed and can be better understood by Saudis. I feel I have come to understand Ramadan a bit more than I did before thanks to your posts; I’m actually kind of sad I won’t be in Saudi Arabia this year to see and share it with my own Saudi – it sounds like a very cool holiday experience!
Spending Ramadan in Saudi and with the one you love is a very special experience for Muslims all around the world.
I too would like to know what accomodations Muslims make for non-muslim holidays – religious or otherwise.
Because i have been told that muslims are not allowed to (don’t know by who though) even wish non-muslims on their holidays.
I am more interested how muslims behave in Muslim majority lands towards non-muslim holidays, rather than where they are in a minority.
I am not sure if this is off-topic or not, but regarding non-Muslims’ etiquette during Ramadan, any ideas on how to best celebrate a birthday during Ramadan among Muslim and non-Muslim friends?
@kvs,
Much of how a Muslim accomodates non-muslim holidays and the individuals celebrating such holidays really depends on the individual muslim and the location. It’s not fair and impossible to just clump all muslims together on such an issue.
The same also goes for the behavior. Each country and each individual will have differing practices.
@StrangeOne:
Here is an earlier post I wrote about birthdays:’ http://americanbedu.com/2008/06/06/multicultural-issues-birthdays/
I’m not sure if I would celebrate a birthday among any Muslim friends during the holy month of Ramadan. Much would depend on whether these Muslim friends recognize birthdays in the first place.
-If- they do, then I would suggest a low key celebration after iftar and keeping in accordance with Islam and Ramadan.
I’d like to hear from others on this good question.
@ AB,
I probably should have organized something earlier, but was occupied with other things. :/
Thanks! I think my Muslim friends recognize birthdays here, but I don’t think any of them have organized anything related to birthdays. Mostly, I just wanted to get all my friends together before a lot of them leave for their home countries and a birthday sounded like a good excuse.
This is a very sweet post but the reality is that Ramadhaan should not affect much of what you do. The whole point of fasting and contnuing your daily routine. As my dad who is a muslim professor says that you should not have fasting stop you from what you are doing. Here in the states, muslims fast and work all the time. I guess the only difference is that in Saudi you have more time to worship not really eat and be sluggish.
but thank you for that very kind post. as far as muslims wishing or celebrating christmas or easter or hannakuh is not really allowed much the same ways as a Jewish observant person will not wish a christian merry chrsitmas or a Jehova’s Witness will not celebrate christmas or even individual birthdays. It is not that we are in any way offensive but we are nt allowed to celebrate other holidays offcourse this is all individual muslim dependant as well based on religious practice.
For the gentleman who was asking about muslims accomodating other religous practices and yes we are suppose to, I know in Pakistan they have Merry Christmas announcements on TV and coverage of the holiday. As a muslim, I would give off to people fasting on Yaum Kippur or christmas. so yes we should also be accomodating
Welcome Fatima and thanks for your comment.
You’re right – Ramadan should NOT be a reason to change ones routine or make the days and nights reversed in order to accommodate fasting. I’ve spent Ramadan in many Muslim countries (to include Pakistan) yet the practices I have seen in Saudi Arabia are more unique than in others.
@ AB
So then as this blog is about Saufi Arabia, I would love to see a post on how citizens of Saudi Arabia accomodate non-muslim holidays. What level of awareness or education do they receive in Saudi Arabia regarding non-muslim holidays?
@Fatima
I can understand not celebrating other holidays, but i specifically wrote ‘wishing’ non-muslims. Is that not allowed as well?
@kvs,
I will be delighted to have a post later on this month responding to your request.
Wishing and acknowledging to non-Muslims will be perceived differently all depending more on the individual. My husband for example, while remaining true to his faith, had no qualms participating in other holiday celebrations whether it was dieing Easter eggs, fixing up Easter baskets, stuffing Christmas stockings and going with my family at times for special church services.
Shari and strange one,
Sorry about the delayed post – just got back to Arizona from Asia (A very interesting place) – so I don’t know if you’ll see this or not.
I agree that it is a matter of “mutual respect” but the problem is that there is no “mutual” here. Respect, for Muslims, is a one way street – or perhaps you would kindly tell me in what country and planet that Muslims – where they dominate – respect others. Even in non-Muslim countries that have adopted an “in you face” attitude that clearly shows their contempt for non-muslims. Take the pressure to end our freedom of speech. Do you call that respect? Why are people not free to express their opinion about Islam’s prophet? Why must people not offend them when they offend us? Is it because you believe that moral standards are for others and not for Muslims? Take the 911 mosque. Yes it is they right to build it, but Muslims don’t care if they offend millions of Americans. Look at the discrimination practiced by Muslims everywhere against non-Muslims. It would be nice to be able to associate the words mutual and respect but they don’t belong together even in the same chapter much less page or line when the subject is Islam.
As to Ramadam, it is another meaningless ritual – like all religious rituals – that does nothing except provide a silly feeling of self-value. Non-eating for a day, making a pilgrimage, wearing certain clothes, not eating meat, wearing holy underwear, and so on, have no value beyond self-gratification (“I am so devout and this proves it!) and signaling to other you are a “good” Muslim, Catholic, Mormon, etc.
As I have said before, rituals are easy. Virtue, in the broadest understanding of the word, is not. All the cute rituals in the world are worth less than one good deed. Religions love rituals because they reinforce an exterior mindless attitude without requiring thought.
Fatima, you sound ok, but you need to take it a few steps further. You might say “Merry Christmas” in Pakistan, but maybe it would be better to work to end religious discrimination in that country. In Arabia, a simple “Merry Christmas” is a bandaid on the severed limb of discrimination and oppression.
Carol, your husband sounds like he was a pretty nice guy. Anybody that participates in the old pagan ritual known as “easter eggs” has my vote.
Jay
Jay,
I have also seen Christians intolerant of other religions. Most of my Muslim friends are actually very tolerant and respectful of my beliefs, although we don’t usually talk much on religion. It may not be a Muslim majority country here, but a lot of them are originally from Muslim majority countries. I don’t think it’s fair to generalize on this because it really depends on how the individual views their own religion.
I think the main reason why loved ones want us to convert to a particular religion is because they want us to feel the same joy and love that they have for their religion. It’s because for whatever reason, their religion and religious beliefs make them happy.
I understand your position on rituals. I honestly do not see the value in rituals myself, but if others believe it’s important I don’t have a problem supporting them if it makes them happy. Why not?
Ramadan is also a time when loved ones get together and spend more time with each other from what I’ve heard, so I think it can also be a good thing in that it supports loved ones spending time with each other. It is also a reminder to those that need it that we should help those less fortunate and to reflect on life. However, I would say that the origin of fasting for a day and eating at night does seem a bit culturally influenced, like Easter Eggs, Christmas trees and presents, etc. That does not necessarily mean it’s a bad/good thing, though. I’ve got mixed feelings about this style of fasting and plan to research health implications of it. However, I am very supportive of those who choose to fast during Ramadan as I see Ramadan as a positive thing overall.
Strange one.
Don’t look to me to defend Christians. They have their fair share – and some – of haters and bigots. The only difference is that the Muslims haters and bigots outnumber the Christian haters and bigots by a considerable factor. Note also that “christian” lands are much more tolerant and respectful of “the other” than Muslims societies.
I have no problem generalizing. It is part of life. When I say that Islam is intolerant I can point to the 50+ Islamic countries, of which 45+ are discriminatory against non-Muslims, and I can g-e-n-e-r-a-l-i-z-e with a very clear conscience. I am that sure. I really see no reason to believe the Muslims in the West are any different than those in Islamdom, the only distinction being that they don’t have the numbers to impose their values – yet.
As to the “love that they have for their religion” I would like you to know that most Muslims are very ignorant about their religion. At least they cannot give good simple answers to basic questions about theology and the context of Quran and ahadeeth. I don’t consider ignoring the things they don’t want to talk about, or using silly excuses (out of context, bad translations, others did it too, that was then, etc.) as being acceptable in any discussion.
Well, you are right about rituals. Ramadan does no harm and the good lord knows we could all eat less and exercise more. Being with friends and family is always a good thing. Oh yes, that Carol is smart — the didn’t take the bait about the science of Ramadan and the calendar.
You take care, Jay
.
Jay,
Well, maybe I have strange friends, then??? Not knowing the others well enough, I can’t say, but most of my close Muslim friends are very respectful, intelligent, and knowledgeable about their religion.
I won’t argue with you on the Islamic countries part because it sounds as if you know more about that than I do.
You take care, too!
Hi
i met a lovely guy in Tunisia 3 years ago on holiday and we married in Dec 08.nHe came over to england in april and he will have been here 2 yrs in april. Last yr i honestly didnt feel affected by Ramadan, but this yr has hit me hard as im on school hols and yet my hubby wants to stay in bed till as late as poss and mooch around the house -literally- all day until sundown when he can he eat, drink,smoke…I am really struggling with how to cope – he has struggled too too and