February is known through most of the world as the month of hearts and love and romance due to Valentine’s Day. However Valentine’s Day is not openly celebrated in Saudi Arabia. At this time, less stores will offer red items which have hearts or teddy bears or even red flowers. And as usual, there will be several raids on facilities and businesses that at other times of the year are allowed to offer joyful and loving gift items which bring a smile to ones face. Sadly the owners of these businesses know that the raids happen each year (of course by the Muttawa) and they prepare for it. Rarely are any of these business found not in compliance but it is part of the “annual game” that takes place near Valentine’s Day.
This year I am breaking tradition and speaking out very candidly and openly in advance of Valentines Day. I am writing a tribute from the heart to the Love of my Life, Abdullah Al-Ajroush. I’ll never feel that we have had enough time together and in spite of some difficult times, there were the most wonderful of times which I would never change.
He may never see this or read this but they are words I need to say. In fact, it is almost as if the keyboard has a mind of its own and is using my fingers as its messenger.
It took me a while to love you as you know. Although I immediately liked you and was mesmerized by you. You were different from any man I had ever known and not solely because of your Saudi citizenship. From the beginning you were both charming and polite, respectful and outgoing. You did not hesitate to open up your mind and your heart even when you knew I was shy, scared, afraid and fighting the thought of having anything more than a respectful and cherished friendship.
You told me within days of meeting you that I would be the wife of your life. You called me “My Love” for so many years I stopped responding the few times you actually called me by my given name. Even my family started referring to me as your American Bedu.
Through our friendship and courtship you always did thoughtful gestures. And once you decided to take a proprietal interest in me, you made sure no other single male would come near me! During our respective diplomatic careers you took such pride in being the one to escort me to diplomatic functions. And of course, I always felt like a treasured piece of porcelain when I was accompanied by you.
You taught me how to reveal myself to you and not be afraid or shy to share whatever was on our minds. Contradictory to our respective cultures and traditions, we learned how to laugh and cry together. It was okay for you to be the weak one at times and for me to be the strong one. And I always cherish the hundreds if not thousands of times that you would insist I do the driving since you’d refer to our future marriage and once in Saudi I would not be able to drive as freely.
As early as two months after our meeting each other you started telling me about your large and extended family. With your vivid descriptions I already knew in which ways you resembled Mama Moudy and which was you took after your Dad. I loved hearing about all your siblings and the adventures you had. Your recollections further endeared you to my heart and my life.
And of course you also won my family’s heart before they ever met you. When you first asked me if you could not only have my Dad and my Mom’s number and could you speak with them, I didn’t give it a second thought. I was happy to provide you with that information. When I learned that the purpose of your call was to introduce yourself to them, assure them of your serious intent and also give them the chance to ask any questions of you, you won their hearts.
Anyone who has been touched by you knows of your sincerity, your loyalty and your dedication to those whom you love. They also know how giving you are and you do not want anyone or anything to suffer. You, my Love, are such an honorable man.
I remember the night I learned my mother had passed away. I was in India, right after 9/11 and you were still in Pakistan. Not only did you speak with me for three full hours straight on the phone but you set up a relay of just about everyone from the Saudi Embassy in Islamabad to take calls calling me so I was never left without a warm and caring voice.
We decided to marry. Your official proposal was so magical taking place at Jumeirah Beach, Dubai. That was the same time you also informed me your next diplomatic posting was going to be Washington, DC. We spent so much of that time in Dubai making plans for the future.
I also have so many memories of your different visits to see me in India. And we can never forget the time the flights were closed and I actually drove to the Waga Border myself to pick you up! The expression on the Pakistani and Indian Security guards was priceless. It was as if they looked at each other to say “Did that Arab in the Saudi diplomatic car really come across the border and get in to a car driven by an American diplomat?” And I made sure we saw as much of India as we could during your visit. In addition to the primary sites of Delhi, we had so many photos taken in Agra at the Taj Mahal. Once in Rajastan, I took you to Jaipur, Jodhpur and Udaipur. Everywhere we went you made new friends with your natural way.
All my friends in India loved you too. The common question I would be asked was “When is Abdullah coming next?”
And to think I taught you not only how to play golf but you grew to love the game as much as I do. I was so proud when you decided you wanted your very own clubs. When I learned you were also going on your own to the driving range to practice, I knew you were hooked. You’ve always been a natural athlete no matter what sport you undertake.
We did so many sports together too. We went hiking, horseback riding, played tennis, played golf, went bowling, played badmitton, played croquette, enjoyed throwing a Frisbee or football and I taught you how to play cribbage while you taught me how to play Balut.
Our discussions were never ending. We never lacked of topics to discuss. Of course foreign affairs and current events were our favorites. Fortunately we shared the quest and knowledge of great books and could discuss and recommend authors for hours.
I appreciated all of our special memories in the various kitchens we have had. You always took pleasure in joining me in the kitchen and to my delight, many times you would offer to cook. (Are you sure you’re a Saudi, love?) We could spend an entire evening in the kitchen sharing and bonding even more.
One of the most special ways you showed your love for me was shortly after your arrival in Washington. I was still in India and making my preparations to join you. I chose to send my cats ahead of my arrival. There you were in a small condo at the time and without hesitation accepted my four cats into your home. You gave them food, shelter and most importantly, love. You learned not only how to take care of them but you gave them the very best of care. Again, you demonstrated to me how very unique and precious you are.
We have always had magical moments wherever we’ve been. I took such pride in introducing you to as much of America as I could and in turn, you showed me the hidden treasures of Saudi Arabia. You made me love the country of the shifting sands and hidden treasures. You made me appreciate and want to be a desert beduion. I loved being with you in the desert at any time and each time we were in the desert together it seemed our souls would further mesh and bond.
As a couple we learned how to mesh our cultures and customs well. I know that we are going to be apart Valentines Day 2010 but if we were together I know I’d be holding your hand tightly and continuing to share more of the special memories you have given me and how strong my love is for you, My Dearest Love.
Always,
Your American Bedu
Filed under: America, Books, Charity, culture, Freedoms, friendship, gender, horses, pets, politics, relationships, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, Saudi Living, travel, Uncategorized, women driving, Women Issues Tagged: | America, blogging, cats, culture, culture shock, customs, desert, gender, heritage, home, islam, KSA, Love, marriage, places, Relationship, romance, Saudi, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, travel
So sweet. It is so sad that you two need to be separate right now. I hope that Abdullah does see this tribute (perhaps he was the Abdullah that commented on about?) And I hope that he surprises you with a BIG tribute of his own on the 14th. LOL
Very beautiful and touching. Thanks for sharing these wonderful memories with us.
I have tears in my eyes now. That was so very touching to read. Thank you for sharing this most intimate part of your life with us, Carol. Such beautiful memories you have… xox
How very very special you and your husband are and also how very special your love is for one another… I teared up a little reading this.. so intimate and special thank you for sharing something so beautiful with the rest of us.
it’s so sweet the beautiful love you tw have for each others. i am sorry that you are not together right now, but soon you will be. thank you for sharing this with us
Awww, thanks for sharing this Carol! Who doesn’t love a good love story? I hope and pray that the two of you can be together again soon, happy and healthy.
Ah… l’amour!
Thank you, this is beautiful and touching.
May you both blossom in good health.
Thank you everyone! This post was very much a catharsis for me as I was holding in so many emotions with my husband’s return to Saudi…so as usual, I go to the keyboard.
i dont know how you keep yourself together… you are the image of a strong woman in my head.
keeping you both in my prayers.
Hi Carol,
Hope all is well. I just tagged you for a “meme”. Enjoy!
I’ll admit I’m really not very strong right now, both emotionally and physically. However I do believe in miracles and I pray that Abdullah’s return to home will give him a miracle.
What a beautiful and sincere post, despite the sad situation. What amazing and experiences the two of you had. He does indeed seem like a wonderful, caring man. May you both recover in health and spirit and be united, so that the two of you can hold hands and share many more memories together. : )
What a nice read. Manal and I wish all of the best for you two.
Can love reach across distance? How about across the innernerd wires? Can you feel ours for you, Carol?
True, we can’t make up for your beloved, but if love & affection can be felt through the wires, we’d be jamhogging the bandwidth with Tetra-bytes of mush and affection for you.
Thank you for that lovely post.
Carol,
Your blog has come to mean a great many things to me. In times of sorrow and confusion, it has provided me hope. Once again, I am inspired to keep the faith and move forward. Love exists and it’s the most beautiful of God’s gifts. I hope and pray to end up with someone that is as special to me as Abdullah is to you. I will pray for the two of you, as always.
<3 Culturewatch
“He may never see this or read this but they are words I need to say. In fact, it is almost as if the keyboard has a mind of its own and is using my fingers as its messenger”
American Bedu:
Inshallah, you are feeling better. You have been doing Chemo for a while now. Will it end soon? Please pardon me if I am being too forward, I am just a dumb American when it comes to Saudi customs. Why is your husband not with you? I think it would be so much better for you if he were.
You will be in my prayers.
Hala
It’s truly a beautiful and moving piece.Hopefully he’ll be able to come and share the wonderful day just the way the both of you would want,inshallah!
Dearest Carol,
I know Allah hears the prayers of us all. We are all praying for you and Abdullas recovery!
If he has returned to Saudi he must be doing better? I pray you will be together soon.
Your story is one of the sweetest, I pray Allah reunite you with your love in dunya and akhira.
UmMuhammad
Carol,
I wish both of you good health. Chemo is a difficult process but I hope you’ll come out of it healthy and will join Abdullah in Riyadh soon.
Hala,
Carols husband has also been undergoing chemo, in his own cancer battle. Circumstances led to their treatment taking place in different locations-
Carol, a beautiful post. I can’t imagine this journey you are on- and I pray for happy endings all ’round.
As many of his family and friends read your blog, hopefully one of them will convey your message to him.
I hope that this Chemo treatment that you are having is the last that you’ll ever need.
Beautiful Carol. Not many couples would have the memories that you and Abdullah have had. Two special people.
Beautiful and touching. Crying as I write this.
What a sweet tribute to your lovely husband!
I pray that his return to Saudi will give him the miracle he needs and lessen his pain. I would ask everyone to keep him in your prayers.
I have 2 more chemo treatments but since I’ve been having a rough time with this past one, I don’t know yet if the doctor is going to delay the next treatment by several days.
Bear with me if I’m not on the blog commenting or moderating as usual. I guess ya’ll will have to behave yourself! (smile)
Carol, I hope being back home will help your husband as he continues to recover. Sorry to read these last treatments have been rough on you. Praying for you both. <3
What a beautiful touching story and sentiments!
There is so much love coming from your words I have tears in my eyes now!
I wish you and Abdullah all the best and all happines!
I had tears in my eyes reading your post. May you have more long happy years together.
Oh! I didn’t realise that he had left back to Saudi. That seems to make it that much harder for me to accept. I so wish you two could be together at this very difficult time. This cannot be helping your recoveries at all. You are such a strong woman! I’m wishing really, really hard for things to get better for you two.
This a very touching story. I wish you and your husband improved health. You are an example to all of us of how to deal with life difficulties.
Thank you Lynn, Aafke and Saida for your kind words.
I guess God believes Abdullah and I are both strong people to accept the challenges that have been bestowed upon us. And I appreciate all prayers that we can be reunited.
Thank you MoQ.
What a wonderful tribute to the love of your life Carol. I really hope he’ll read this. Inshallah you’ll recover very soooooooon & live more & more beautiful memories with your beloved.
I can only imagine how agonizing this must be for you! May that “Peace which surpasses all understanding” be with you now.
Thanks 1st and Kristine. I have received confirmation that he has arrived safely in Riyadh and now admitted to a hospital there.
Mashallah… what beautiful, sincere, and touching words. Such love can overcome many obstacles, difficulties, and distances. You both are in my dua, and I hope he does get to read this. I think it may give him courage and hope to keep fighting and struggling to be able to see this, to have the depths of your love reaffirmed through your emotionally heartfelt and beautiful writing.
Thank you Sakina. Yes, I wish it could be read to him.
very nice experience in life – worth memorable
is he not reading your blog?
Crying. Someone’s got to make sure hubby reads this…
Hubby has difficulty reading or using a computer now. But whether he were to hear it or not, he is aware of the love I have for him.
what a sweet story, mashAllah.
i mean story as in account, not work of fiction.
Thank you Africana. I understand.
[...] starting to read Bedu’s tribute posts to her husband and hearing in the background “I Will Remember You” by Sarah MacLachan; I had to up [...]
I am happy to share that the Chicago Sun Times chose to pick up this post:
http://www.suntimes.com/news/blogentries/index.html?bbPostId=B6kcqoGH9Pf8Bzn7nRZ5sNNoBDin5c9R6wv0B9AN8vXk2fv5
AmericanBedu,
This is beautiful. I believe you were blessed with a love that few will experience in their lifetime on earth. If I could experience this kind of love for only a few years and I knew this in advance, I would still choose to experience it, no matter the amount of pain and grief that would be present at the end of the relationship. Life is most definitely about experiences; chances to learn and grow and to simply enjoy the beauty of life.
I am sure Abdullah knew and knows just how much you love him and will always love him. I believe that loved ones are able to watch over us after death. I am sure that he is watching over you, hoping you know just how much he still cares about and loves you. I could just see him wanting to hold your hand or comfort you in some way to let you know he’s still with you, still loves you and is watching over you.
Based on what I have read about him on your blog, I think he would want you to do the best to enjoy the rest of your life, to be happy and cherish the life you have even now that he’s gone. In my opinion, he’d want to see joy, laughter, and love light up your face, to watch you be able to do all the things you enjoy once more as your body heals. He’d want you to still do all the things that you love to do because it means so much when our loved ones are happy.
Thank you Strangeone. Your words gave a lot of comfort. I do believe we had a rare gift in our love and wish that all others can have such a love in their life too.