Top 10 reasons why it is good to be bald:
10. Never have a bad hair day.
9. No need for a curling iron.
8. Never need to worry about enough time to blow dry hair.
7. Don’t have to learn how to use a hair straightener.
6. No need to use hair spray.
5. No need for hair gel.
4. YOU make your own style rather than worry which hairstyle is best.
3. No more split ends.
2. You save alot of time no longer needing to style hair.
- No fear of the muttawa in Saudi Arabia saying “cover your hair.”
Chemotherapy treatments all have various side effects. A common one men and women both will experience is baldness. Initially losing ones hair involuntarily can be an emotional experience because it is typical to associate individualism with hair and hair style. However, individualism does not stop simply with the loss of hair! I did not want to see my hair falling out in clumps or strands around me so when it became evident the chemotherapy was taking effect with a few strands of hair here and there, I chose to take control and have my head shaved. My son did a great job in shaving my head and we made it a celebration. Choosing to shave my head gave me additional strength in accepting and fighting my cancer.
While I was in Houston I saw women from the Arab world who made their statements of strength as they fought their respective cancers too. Many of these women chose to wear a man’s smaugh around their head and some in the same style as the man and others had it wrapped like a hijjab. The typical hijjab would likely feel scratchy and irritable atop a bald head whereas the smaugh is a softer and gentler fabric.
It is not a stigma for a woman fighting cancer to be bold whether she is a Saudi woman, an American woman or from anywhere in the world. The baldness can be indicative that her chemotherapy is working and she is facing her fight head on. In Saudi Arabia many may not even be aware a Saudi woman has lost her hair since it is traditional for a Saudi woman at a minimum to wear the hijjab. She can continue to wear a hijjab but will probably have a soft cap underneath it since the head does become more sensitive.
If you are aware of a Saudi woman battling cancer that has lost her hair, to show support and understanding she would likely appreciate small satin pillows she can use when sleeping. In addition, hats that are light, soft and can “breath” are excellent for night time use too. While she may appreciate hearing the standard “don’t worry, your hair will grow back” it is suggested to demonstrate understanding by giving her a hat or scarf or unscented lotion with a comment “I believe this will make you more comfortable.” Many women who undergo chemotherapy can become very sensitive to smells so unscented lotions are best. Some women may also at times have hot flashes and when that happens, encourage her it is okay to remove her hat or scarf so she can be most comfortable. And if/when she does, continue to act natural which puts her further at ease and comfortable to display her baldness.
The woman gains more confidence and a new beauty emerges from her. And for those family members who really want to give their bald love one a boost of confidence and visible display of love and support, go ahead and shave your head too! Yes, bald can be both bold and beautiful.
And as an added footnote, I am continuing to learn and experiment with different combinations of both scarves and hats at the same time. This photo was taken the other day:
Filed under: America, breast cancer, cancer, culture, Dress, Freedoms, gender, Health, religion, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, Saudi Living, travel, Uncategorized, Women Issues Tagged: | America, blogging, culture, culture shock, customs, gender, gender issues, KSA, Relationship, Saudi, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Test, women
Carol,
I know it’s been a while, but I just saw this and wanted to take the time to say how much I admire your courage, strength, and amazing ability to think of helping others even when you are going thru a most difficult time.
You are an inspiration…and a beautiful one at that!
I’m still in the USA so if you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask.
XOXO
What meds are they giving you that your hair didn’t fall out all at once? I had adria and Taxotere and they told me that on Day 17 after my first treatment, it would all fall out. I cut my hair and had someone sew a hairpiece out of it, but I chickened out and didn’t have it shaved at the time. So my parents shaved the leftovers (a sort of mini-mohawk type number) for me on Day 17, and then I donned the hairpiece (velcroed into a hat).
Which led to someone asking my rather tall person at the opera if I could remove my hat. I replied, ‘No, I can’t – I’m completely bald underneath.’ She was SO nice to me after that… Nowadays, if I had to do it over again, I’d probably remove it dramatically and watch her jaw drop
The hairpiece did just fine until I went back to the gym and realized that it wouldn’t do to wear it or, indeed, any head covering at all while doing heavy bodybuilding type workouts… So I worked out in a costume similar to what you picture above, and then wore a hat at other times
I commend you for being more gutsy than I and just shaving it all off at the outset masha’Allah
May the Lord continue to bless and keep you and your husband and family.
Carol…
You are gorgeous hair or no hair…your inner beauty radiates outward through these pictures and I am sure, to all those around you. Bravo!
You look great! I admire your courage in speaking out like this and making women feel they are not alone in their struggles with cancer. Big Hugs!
@caraboska – I’m taking an aggressive regime of three differing types of chemo. One does not typically lose all the hair at once but like I wrote when you begin to notice strands either in the sink or more in the brush, that is indicative of most chemos working. And the doctor can usually predict to the day when all hair should have fallen. That is amazing how you had a cap made of your hair. And I hope that you are now cancer free.
@oby – Thanks Oby. I really appreciate your words of support.
@Mandi – I am so happy to hear from you and would love to catch up! If you can email me at admin@americanbedu.com and I’ll give you my number. Lots of hugs to you!
@Susanne – thank you!!!
Bedu, I just finished my annual round of checkups and have been pronounced ‘officially healthy’ until next time. I looked for probably six weeks for someone who was equipped to sew my half-pound mane into a hairpiece, and finally found the right person in the most unlikely place – at a firm specializing in *men’s* hair replacement! But he did a super job masha’Allah – the nurses were really scratching their heads wondering what the deal was with my hair when I came for my next treatment…
Three different types, you say? This must be something new. May the Lord ease your way and grant the best possible result.
Salam Carol,
I am new to your blog and stumbled across it from researching about living in Riyadh, your posts are sooooo encouraging unlike the many stigmas I’ve heard which in turn has previously made me fear the kingdom. High five for such positivity. That said I pray that the positive hope you’ve given out through blogging be rewarded by Allah and this journey you are going through eases, Ameen. Thank you for sharing American Bedu to the world, you are such a beautiful inspiration.
Kind regards,
Adla from Australia
Dear Carol,
You are beautiful inside and out. You can do it!
Magnificent courage Carol. What an inspiration you are to all breast cancer patients. . In particular though what an asset you are to the women of your adopted country, the Saudi Women. I hope this post is seen all over KSA by them. Bald is certainly beautiful and your. head attires are very “chic” God Bless
p.s. Do you ever sleep? You are a prolific blogger.
Carol,
You are very strong and courageous. I’m waiting for the day when both of you will be well again.
god !! how amazing and powerful woman you are carol
Carol you look really nice in the last photo!
Oh, Carol I had to laught at 3- no more split ends.
And I would love to see you in a mall in Saudi Arabia with your bald head out and the muttawa starting to scream ”cover your…. eehhh”
I hope you are feeling tolerably well..
Dear Carol,
You are an inspiration. I’m sure that all of us out here wish we have half as much courage and boldness that you have. I wish you and your husband a speedy recovery so that you can both be together again.
Carol you look b-e-a-uuuuutiful!!! In the words of India Arie [you] are not your hair.
Carol,
Posting that photo takes amazing courage, fight fight fight and you shall suceed.
hope to meet you one day and share a few laughs about living in saudi.
You will beat cancer and come out healthy and happy .
keep busy and have fun with your baby .
I think it’s your Eyes, that draw everyone in
Hej Carol,
Another one of those things advantageous being bald is one doesn’t have to worry about the grey hair and never will have to colour one’s hair.
I like your first picture completely bald. You are much more beautiful there. You look really cool. If people can be as courageous as you are. Hope Abdulla and yourself will be better soon.
Thanks for the tips, my friend is to be starting chemo soon so I will definitely take these tips into consideration – short of shaving MY head that is but I will suggest it to her husband
.
Carol,
Hugs and kisses from Istanbul. You are so strong and I often think about you when I face my own challenges in life. I think”Hmmm….I wonder how Carol would handle this” You are strong.
By the way, you are still beautiful and actually get away being bald nicely. I had a car accident so I have scares on my scalp. Sometimes a hairdresser will comment.
Again, you are strong …Lots of prayers for you.
Love, Jennifer
Just wanted to let you know you are both in my thoughts and prayers. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer right before I left to work a year in Saudi, but thank God she is in remission now. I told her that she looked lovely (and oh-so-hip) after she shaved her head- she always disagreed but it’s true!
Your posts helped me prepare for and appreciate my adopted-for-a-year home. I can never thank you enough for that.
Carol,
your such an insperation for us!
i think red is definatley your color!
Thank you EVERYONE for the positive words of support. Each individuals journey with chemotherapy can be different but since it is not spoken about too much in Saudi I thought I would share the various aspects of mine from time to time.
So please…more tell me which is there favorite on the ten reasons why it’s great to be bald? Or do you have more to add?
The #1 reason is cute!
For me,
no more frizz!!
NC humidity + my hair = a mess and a half!
Carol, I am going through my scarves…..how about raw silk? Is that a comfortable fabric for you?
How you are going through this and still blogging is beyond me.
You go, Superwoman!
You are such an inspiration! God bless you!
I guess I liked being hairless because of the humorous situations it provided from time to time, as well as that pic my dad took at the end of my chemo, when the hair was JUST BARELY starting to grow back, and I must say, it’s one of the best, most artistic pics ever taken of my person. Courtesy of my dad masha’Allah
You’re one hell of a woman, Carol. I would imagine that women in the Arab world where one’s hair is the ultimate symbol of beauty (and thus worth hiding from any random male) struggle even more with the thought of hair loss.
No fear of the muttawa in Saudi Arabia saying “cover your hair lol
go ahead and shave your head too! Yes, bald can be both bold and beautiful lol
noooo please carol i love a woman to be very cared of hair even i completely agree she can be bold and confident when she got a bald
You are truly amazing! I love the top ten list, especially #1! Your head has such a nice round shape – I’m afraid mine is rather bumpy!!! You are brave and strong and a woman to be admired. Thinking of you…
Silk feels very good on the bald head. Right now the weather is quite cold in North Carolina so I find it important to wear a scarf which is soft atop the head but due to the cold I then cover with a thick warm cap. And once all this is over, it will be interesting to see how my hair chooses to grow back in. I’ve had many women tell me that after chemo straight hair has become curly and vice versa.
I’m not sure if Saudi has a similar program in place but there is a program associated with the American Cancer Society called “Feel Well, Look Beautiful.” This program instructs women undergoing chemo on how to apply make-up in a safe way but also in a manner which enhances their eyes and face. Each woman who goes through this program is also provided with a make up kit too consisting of fine cosmetics. The reason I say applying makeup in a safe manner is chemo makes the entire immune system weaker and as a result it is very important if applying eye makeup or lipstick for example, to do so with a throwaway one time use applicator due to fear of germs. Now in addition to learning new techniques and safe ways to apply makeup, the program also teaches women the many different ways to tie and use the combos of scarves and hats.
This program can also increase a womens confidence and sense of self-worth and perception during what can be for some a very difficult and emotional time.
Thank you Susie!
I pray you both recover well Carol and Abdullah.
Thank you very much DW! i will pass on your good wishes to Abdullah.
Hey Carol,
I always look forward to reading your perspectives Carol, and you always shed light on alot of issues, some of which are controversial, and very thought provoking. Thank you for this.
On a second note, its very brave and encouraging to see that you have embraced something you cannot control and instead of letting it become your weakness, you have made it a strength – I believe very few people in the world have a capability to do this. Keep it up!
I hope and pray that you will both recover and regain good health. Inshallah (genuine Insh’allah and not the one that you mentioned in your previous posts
).
I was burnt when I was 12 years old while trying to play mom for my little sister, the scar that was left after treatment -although not on a visible place- was so deep and severe that I had to undergo a cosmetic surgery so my mom would feel good about it when I was 17. It didn’t turn out to be better, I now had two lasting scars on my leg, but honestly I don’t really care as long as I don’t feel any pain and I’m still walking… Love your courage Carol, Keep up the great spirit and I think you look great with or without hair…
Yes, mine grew in curly. Finally, after about 7 years, those curls began to look a bit bedraggled, so I treated myself to a fancy haircut during which I got rid of them.
omg carol i love ur blog i been a silent reader for a long time but reading this entry brought a tear to my eye…wallah u look so beautiful and through ur blog ur heart seems beautiful too inshallah…. and i love the way u tied ur scarf in the third pic please tell me how u did it ….
<3 u
tc
Thank you ALL for the encouraging comments of strength and support. Aggressive Beauty – thank you for commenting!!
In response to how I tied the scarf in the third pic, I took a long scarf and basically wrapped it to cover and shield the head and then tied it around at the side of my head. Then I covered with a cap for the final “warming” touch.
Just like when writing with words there are so many to choose from and using the imagination, I am also applying the same philosophy to hats and scarves combos with just using my imagination. I do wish that I had a few of my husband’s smaugh’s with me as they are known for their softness and the fabric is such that the air breathes through them too.
You know Carol, there’s not much I can say that has already been said and so true about you! You are simply an amazing and courageous woman. You are an inspiration to many out there.
Thank you for your candidness and your ability to be so open. I think I have mentioned this before about my mother who also battled breast cancer at the age of 50 (20 years ago). She not only lost her hair but she also had a double mastectomy.
People like you and my mother are heroes in my eyes!
What I meant Carol was there’s not much I can say that HASN’T been already been said…..LOL!! BIG typo on my part! Sorry!
Thank you Manal! And how is your mom doing these days?
Carol, I must say this – you look sexy with this look!
You and Abdullah are in my prayers.
Hey Carol,
You truly are inspirational. Yes its in your eyes, the will to fight and overcome . More power to you!
Carol, you are an amazing woman. God Bless.
Thank you so much Always, Rasputin and Hanie. I greatly appreciate the prayers for me and Abdullah.
Inshallah, you will be feeling much better and soon. There are a great many treatments for Cancer that are extremely effective. It is not like the old days at all.
I admire your courage!
Hala Maksoud
You are right, Hala. And breast cancer, if detected early enough, is among the most curable of cancers. Another reason that every Saudi should encourage the women they love to have regular self-exams AND mammograms.
I practically stood up and cheered the day I heard that there was a vacination against certain types of Cervical cancer. Life is much different now than when I was little in the 50′s.
I thank Allah SWT for that.
Hala M
It’s amazing how you are not letting this disease put you down but instead you make it a strength!
No matter what, you are beautiful inside and outside but I have to say that I love the new look, this trick for make up is amazing! Also, the scarf is a new accessory and God knows how women love accessories! Keep on being positive Carol!
The red looks really good on you! It’s definitely your color!
About the hair, my aunt got her hair back a little curlier than before, a little thinner too so now she can arrange it better
thank you for the words of support and encouragement!
Salam Carol,
I happened to bump into your blog while searching for arabic classes in saudi. You’re such a kind hearted person from the looks of it and you sound as though you’re ready to climb mount kilimanjaro LOL. I hope this comment reaches you in the best of health. My grandmother was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I must say I come from a family of no emotions being shown. I’m afraid for her since she never talks about her illness but I’m pretty sure what keeps her smiling is having sabr and faith. I hope you beat this suckker to the ground. Wishing all the best.
From a sister in Canada:0
BTW Carol, once you’re bold you don’t have to worry about hair scrunchies or that awful weekly hair treatment for some. What about the fight with the hair dye kit that comes with those awful gloves. Hip hip hurray for boldness.
@Fatima,
Welcome and thank you so much for your supportive words. Also you made me smile on additional benefits of being bald and bold! But of course if I were in the hot Saudi sun it would be very necessary to wear a hat with a wide brim. And the black hijjab would not be a good choice for women undergoing chemo to wear in Saudi during the summer since the black does retain the heat. It is very important to have a head cover which can breath and does not result in additional heat on the head which could lead not only to irritation but other problems.
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