The majority of Saudi Arabia’s population is under 21 years of age. I have had a number of discussions with many Saudis about the new generation and expectations of Saudi youth. There will always be those who are exceptional and of course those who are far less than exceptional and then the mainstream youth. But what exactly are the mainstream youth of Saudi’s new and upcoming generation? The young men seem to be much more “me” oriented and demanding and impatient. Impertinent is another word that comes to mind. One recent example of what I mean happened last week at a Saudi government school in Al-Qassim. A ninth-grade youth was not only disrupting the class but also making inappropriate statements about another student. The (Saudi) teacher asked this student to come to his desk. The youth insolently rose from his desk and sauntered to the teacher’s desk. The teacher told the student privately that his behavior was inappropriate for the classroom and if he could not behave he would be sent to the principal’s office. The student responded “I don’t care if you send me to the principal’s office. You can even send me to the Minister’s office.” The Saudi teacher was so surprised to be addressed as such by a ninth grade student that he chose to tell the student he did not deserve to be in the classroom today and told the student to leave the classroom. I’m not sure if that was the best response but apparently this incident was pretty typical of actions of the youth in the classroom and the teacher had just had enough.
So why are the youth today having such attitudes and lack of respect? And what recourses are there to change this attitude? Particularly before these youth are expected to take responsible positions in society?
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Interesting story and interesting questions …
First of all, I am really impressed by how calm the teacher was! Yes, the action he had taken is arguable, but it was good that he did not engage with that student in any kind of discussions in front of the class. Such discussions could take the matter more out of hands.
Why such attitudes are there these days? I believe such attitudes have always been there but I can agree with you that they are intensified and getting much popular amongst students nowadays. I believe the reason lies at home. With our fast pace of life; parents are no longer giving the adequate attentions to how their sons and daughters are behaving. It is clear that the student in the story lacks discipline and lacks respect and such traits are usually raised at home!
I agree with Saad. I believe discipline begins at home. Teachers should not be expected to “reform” children’s bad behavior. This is a problem in the US. Teachers are having to spend a lot of valuable classroom time with students who disrupt instead of being able to spend it on *teaching.*
I remember laughing at people saying in their days the things students got in trouble for were talking and chewing gum at school. My how things have changed. :-S
Beacuse they are spoiled, they all have this “thing” where they are better than that family or this, they have that car or this, this much in their account or how they can pay their teachers to pass classes (which happens ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time, I think I would die of shock if there was one honest student out there). Like right now, for the guys, the thing to lure in girls is to proclaim they have Johnny Walker Black, it was Grey Goose, and before that hash.
That’s to be expected, I think, I mean look at Iran, house parties everywhere. Same thing in Saudi. When you’re bored and ummm sexually ready to explode, you’ll find a way. All this competition and getting away with breaking the laws with money equals a group of young men with egos the size of a small planet.
For the life of me, i wish i knew what happened to people’s manners in this country.
Most children I meet are bold and rather outspoken, which would be a good thing if they didn’t lack manners (which most of them do lack).
There was a gap, somewhere in time, when their impressionable minds realized the fact that a loud voice and a couple of rude words would brush people out of their way. And they chose that path, it being the easiest.
I’m not going to point fingers, I’m too tired of trying to figure it out. Here are some thoughts on the matter after what I’ve seen in IKEA a couple of months back http://bit.ly/11kP3a
Susanne is right…we do have an issue with it in the USA. I think it is multi factorial but one of the things I think contributes to it is that parents don’t take their kids by the scruff of the neck and give them a good shaking(OK I mean this figuratively…not into child abuse)when they need it. Too often they want to be their “friends”. Or don’t want to upset the kids or hurt their self esteem or make them feel sad. My mom and dad gave my self esteem a good swift kick in the rear when I needed it (again I am talking figuratively) and had NO QUALMS in taking a firm hand when we needed it. They would tell us “we are your parents not your friends. You’ll have lots of friends in life, but we are not them”. Also parents think that junior is an angel and will often jump on the teacher for correcting the kid. Not my mom…if I got in trouble with the teacher, she would ask me what I did to deserve it. there was a very clear and demarcated line about who was the parent aka boss and who was the child. I did grow up in the late 60′s and 70′s…graduated high school in ’79 and when I was in grammar school chewing gum and answering the teacher back was unthinkable to me.
Not to brag but I have taken a similar, though gentler approach with my daughter who is 10 and I am often told that she is very polite when she is a guest in someone’s home. So I guess there is something to be said for the style. It is a firm but loving style.
Yes, I know it sounds very American. I too know American students who are rude and inattentive even in college level. Parental role is very important in building the children’s behaviour. That’s right. But in school the children also come in contact with other students and peer pressure matters in that impressionable age, when being rude to the teacher may be regarded as some kind of an achievement. The parents should also see what kind of friends their children have.
But seeing this post, it seems it’s not only American, it exists in traditional societies as well.
India has had a very ancient tradition of the students holding the teachers in high regard. Hence, Indian students usually don’t show disrespect to their teacher – often even if the teacher is being unfair. And some teachers do take undue advantage of this. The students here usually keep at least a pretense of respect in front of the teacher – they may criticise the teacher in her absence. Even after the students finish school, if they meet their teacher in later life, the element of respect is always there.
While this makes it easy to teach the Indian students, it has its disadvantages – the students never question their teacher, even if the teacher is wrong and the teacher often holds a lot of power over the students, especially in the university level, when the graduate students are looking for jobs and academic jobs are scarce in India. So you can say we have the opposite problem in some ways.
So I feel a culture should be built where the students should show respect to their teacher, but they should also be able to voice their opposition of an unfair treatment when required, but in a polite and courteous manner.
That kind of behaviour is lack of education at home.Parents are too busy with their own hobbies and amusements that they don’t have anymore time to spend with their children.
This seems to be a worldwide problem! People here in Spain complain of exactly the same thing. You’ll hear adults saying when they were young they did not behave this way, and that children nowadays are so and so…
I think traditionally in most cultures teachers are viewed as ones who are given respect. But now over time this is deteroriating. I wonder if instead a teacher stating the punishment for unacceptable activity is the principal’s office but rather for the father to come collect their child, if that would make more of an impact on the young ones thinking twice?
One of the reasons we don’t like to fly Saudi airlines is because of the horrible kids.
Saudies love children but they spend no time educating them.
We don’t like to fly Saudi Airlines because of the horrible unruly brats running around.
I have for the most part noticed my kids friends that have come home well behaved and respectful.i have seen a few kids with issues, they are not bad just need an attitude adjustment. What i have noticed was their parents have the same issues .. children copy the parents /adults in their life. so i wouldn’t plac ethe blame squarely on the kids, just because the parents were raised right doesn’t mean they raised their kids right.
Could be the kids there have noticed their parents getting away with a lot and also if their parents don’t respct their teachers there’s no way the kids will. A few friends who are teachers there claim that their are a few powerful parents who’s objective is not education for kids but education for kids their way
and my friends always have the most trouble with those kids.
so why blame the kids it’s the adults there who need a good attitude fixx and the effect will trickle down.
from what little interaction i have with saudis here it would help if the mom’s paid a bit more attention to their kids rather than focussing ont heir shopping, gossip and beauty.
This is a worldwide problem. MTV is one media which spreads bad language, almost porno music videos etc.
Women are subjects, sexy dressed and nobody cares.
Why women continue to except that???
No wonder youngsters are confused.
Friends want you to be like others. If you’re ‘different’ (you like classical music, poems, painting etc.) it’s hard. Pressure is so hard that it’s easier to hide.
Parents should support kids to be themselves and not to fulfill parents’ dreams.
Until parents behave like adults what can you expect from the children? Money, fashion, celebrity, sport star etc. worshipping are good examples what parents do – and they are the mirrors to their children.
I have noticed or it’s just been my luck that business class on Saudi Airlines seems to be more individuals whereas first class and coach have so many families. In fact, we’ve opted for business class rather than first since we find it quieter and more comfortable. Usually it’s a 747 so we are in the upper deck away from the ruckus of kids.
I think it can be easier to get disconnected with ones child in Saudi because of the proliferation of housemaids. And yes, most housemaids take the easy way out in while not allowing a child to hurt himself but otherwise pretty much giving him/her free rein. One of my pet peeves are the children running wild at the malls wearing those roller skate shoes or playing with the shopping carts through the mall and not looking who or what may be in the path.
i would say the fault for both … students must do respect a teacher and the rule of school…family, community should tale action to resolve this negative phenomenon cus its unacceptable there are students don’t respect their teachers..instead, we need make school for fun ..why are our school is tooo boring?!! we need quickly to add lots of fun in school…i m pretty sure if we did this students would love school and love teacher….teaching is a tough task and cannot learn efficiently without students love their school….
you make a good valid point Mohammed on how important a great teacher is for the students to instill the love and respect of learning.
My Dad would have made an incredible history teacher. He loved history plus he was such a gifted story teller that he could make history come alive with his words. I remember when younger we spent almost 2 hours basically at an empty field in Virginia but it was the site of one of the civil war battles and he told us the story and we were just enraptured. That battle became real for us and we could see the men and their actions instead of the empty field.
i can relate to what daisy mentioned: “But in school the children also come in contact with other students and peer pressure matters in that impressionable age, when being rude to the teacher may be regarded as some kind of an achievement. ”
my first grader has come home with horrible words she learned in the arabic language. at first i didn’t know what these words meant but given the tone in which my child was using them (against me) i knew they were naughty. and boy did she get a fright when i told her i would ask her father what those words meant!
after i discovered what she was saying i was appalled. she was saying she wanted to cut my face! and where did she hear this from? her fellow classmate said it to the teacher when she became upset with her! and where did her classmate hear it from? my guess is someone or something (tv) at home!
and this she learned from a tahfeeth (memorizing) school which i naively thought would protect my children from other rotten children and their bad influences.
i spoke with the teacher and asked her to keep the offending child away from mine. outside of this, the best i can do is to advise my children to steer clear of the classmates or friends that do these things. and we all know how easy that is!
i caught myself thinking recently what my children will run up against throughout their school years (and beyond) here in saudi and my heart sank. i naively thought saudi was the best place to raise my children but now i’m not so sure. only prob is i have no other alternative as this prob is universal! usa is out, europe is out, other mid east countries is out, etc…..so where to go? the moon?
Wow …. and you’re right, sadly this is a universal problem and it just illustrates that nowhere is really a protective bubble as much as we would like to think so.
Good one Carol, but I do beg to differ with Daisy slightly in the fact the the current generation in India does not entirely subscribe to the concept of Guru Devo Bhava ( The teacher being equated to God). The malaises that afflict every society seems to be prevalent in India as well. Information of any kind is available just a couple of clicks away and this can be used either ways. Its all down to how the parents bring up their kids, how they teach them to be respectful and dignified etc. Also parents who live the lives of social butterfiles and leave the upbringing of their children to support staff , no solutions seem to be around the corner for this.
Glad you enjoyed Rasputin. And I think in each country, there are multiple cultures and teaching within the country.
ummtiflain…
In the USA there is something called homeschooling. It is monitored by the states and is a full and legitimate form of education. It was started by people who wanted to inject more of a religious nature in their children’s education…teach them all the same things and subjects they would learn in regular school but with a Christian thrust…(I know this won’t fly in KSA but hang with me a second.) they wanted to take their kids out of an environment that they thought was not beneficial and have more control over the education and spiritual enrichment. For a long time it was a fringe element but now it has gained in popularity and is continuing to grow. Here, there are several “schools of thought”. Some homeschooling programs have a religious overtone and some are entirely secular for those that prefer to not to mix religion in with their education.
One of my best friend’s daughters is doing home schooling (non religious) and it has been very successful thus far. She gets her religious teaching separately from this. My sister in law is homeschooling her kids in a secular program and it has been quite successful thus far.
There have been studies done that seem to support that the home schoolers do better than even those kids that go to private schools, never mind public.
It is all done at the home by the parent tailored to the families needs.(books and guides are provided…you don’t need to be a teacher) My friends daughter does hers via books as well as the internet. Teachers review everything for accuracy and send it back to her.
I don’t know if it would be something you might even consider but it is just a thought. The internet is a wealth of information. Even if you did secular homeschooling and then backed it up with Islamic studies like my friend does(except her is Christian studies) it might help get your child out of a somewhat toxic situation. I am not sure that it can be done in KSA( if that is where you are) but since it is done via books and the internet it certainly would be worth looking at. Good Luck!
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/religion/islamic.htm
ummtiflain
In the USA is something called homeschooling. It started years ago as a response of people who were unhappy with the state of public school education and wanted to have more control over the education of their kids and infuse it with a Christian overtone. ( I realize you are Muslim but hang with me on this for just a second…)
Nowadays it has gained tremendously in popularity all over the country and is considered a viable alternative to sending your kids to brick and morter school. It is monitored by the states and is a legitimate educational option.
It is no longer only a Christian educational alternative and instead has lots of programs that are also secular for those people who prefer that their children get their religious teaching outside of school. They teach all the same subjects that kids would learn in school. They use books as well as the internet. to teach as well as communicate with parents.
My best friend as well as my sister in law are using this method of teaching their kids with some pretty great results. You don’t have to be a teacher…guides and instructions come with the courses and they themselves teach their children. they both prefer to get their children’s religious education outside the boundaries of the schooling exactly the way it would be done if they were in public school.
There have been studies done that home schooled kids seem to do better not only on tests but in college than even their private school peers.
I don’t know if this would work for you but it is a thought. I know you are in KSA but it is all by book and internet as far as I know and being there might not be a barrier for you.
Below is a website of an Islamic homeschooling magazine. Or simply lookup up homeschooling on the internet. My family/friend were not happy with the school options they had and this is working beautifully for them. good Luck!
http://www.todaystomorrow.net/
when my hands stop shaking I might try to illustrate for you my friday-last adventure. it involves a VERY good taxi driver, a VERY irresponsible Saudi boy tokyo drifing his car in the middle of town, and 2 non-consecutive hours spend at the PD getting him towed, arrested..etc.. only to find out he won’t have a record, he won’t be punished and it’s up to ME to decide what I “want from him”. I should have taken his car. Instead I was in such shock at this system that I asked that he pay all my wasted taxi money for that day, and demanded from his uncle that he not be allowed to drive. I will probably see him again, and hopefully this time he won’t almost kill me (3 times) with near collisions, like on friday. grrrrrrrr. is there no reasonable amount of discipline or punishment in this country?!
@Oby – I’m happy to tell you that home schooling is also popular in Saudi among expats and some Saudis too.
@Andrea – that is terrible. If I can make a suggestion write this up for Arab News and send it to Tariq Al Meeana. At least it will get some more exposure. My husband and I have been exposed to a wild kid drifting multiple times on main Riyadh thoroughfares.
And if you give me your permission Andrea, I would also like to use your example and do an updated article on drifting.
AB…
what is “drifting”?
@OB,
This earlier post complete with video will tell you all about this crazy pastime:
http://americanbedu.com/2008/08/24/saudi-drifting/
You’re welcome to do that Carol. I can tell you everything that happened if you want.
thank you Andrea. you can email me directly at admin@americanbedu.com
Andrea, \i am glad you survived this adventure! And as a reader I am looking forward to hearing more! specially as I know you got out unhurt!
Oh yes! You should have taken his car!!!!!!!!!! Just burned it in front of his house!
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