American Bedu

American Bedu has been very fortunate to have the opportunity to interview another Saudi blogger, Saad Al-Dosari, whose blog, “An Eye on Saudi” is an enjoyable blog to follow.  With this interview, American Bedu readers will learn more about Saad, his views and what prompted him as a native Saudi to start a blog in the English language.

First of all, Thank You, Saad for agreeing to this interview and allowing me to ask you a bevy of different questions.  It is not always easy to have opportunities to ask a variety of questions to a Saudi male so get yourself prepared!  (smiled)

First of all, thank you very much for having me on your blog …I’m all set and ready so let’s do this …

Where in Saudi are you located?  And is this the same area where you also from?

I am from the ‘bride,’ the ‘bride of the red sea;’ Jeddah. I lived all my life in here. Although my family origins go back to Riyadh, and a number of my family members are actually living there, I feel more connected to Jeddah. It is my home town.

You mentioned to me that you are the only and eldest son and have four sisters.  What impact of being the only boy among four sisters have on you growing up?  Do you feel that growing up with four sisters has made you more sensitive to lifestyles and needs of women in the Kingdom?  And if or if not, please explain your answer.

I bet if one of my sisters is here now, she would jump out and say that I was the preferred kid in the family with all the money and toys and all that! and who knows, maybe I was!! (smiles). The fact of the matter that it might seem inevitable to feel special as a boy among sisters in a male dominated  society like the Saudi society, but it seems that my parents were aware of any potential control tendencies I might develop in such situation. I remember their constant reminders to go back to them, my parents, whenever I face a problem with my sisters so I won’t take the advantage of being the eldest and only son to settle things in my own favor. Besides that, there were the regular advices to my sisters to look up to me and respect me as the eldest among them. All in all, I believe growing up among my sisters taught me to be responsible, to look at things in and out before making any decision because I was supposed to be looked at as a role model in a lot of times.

Have I developed any particular understanding of women because of this situation; I am not sure a wise man should ever make such a claim (smiles). Women are a historical mystery no man will ever unfold, and maybe this is part of their charm!

Congratulations to you on your happy marriage and now knowing the joys of parenthood with your young son!  What in your view is a key aspect for a Saudi couple to understand and communicate with each other?  How large a part, if any, do either of your families have in day-to-day life?

Thank you … I am a happily married man for more than three years now. And I am really thankful to God to have my wife, Doha, besides me in this journey we like to call life! Having said that, I am not sure we, as a young couple, are in a position to give advices on happy marriages, but if there is anything we would like to share is that we both understand that the marriage institution is not a game. It is not about new houses, the freedom to travel, and it is certainly not about the few hours you spend in bed! And the reason why I am stating these examples is that, believe it or not, there is a lot of young couples who really think of these stuff whenever marriage comes across their minds. You want evidence, go out and check how many marriages are breaking up within the first year in Saudi Arabia!

Both Doha and I share a simple philosophy when it comes to our marriage; we believe that our marriage is based on love, then on respect, then on understanding. And with these three basics, a marriage life can flourish and taken to success. From these basics, comes passion, communication, sharing, thinking in the terms of ‘we’ rather than ‘I’ , etc … this is our marriage formula, plain and simple!

How did your life change with the birth of your son?  And of course everyone always wants to know of new fathers, have you ever changed a diaper?

The moment you hear that little scream in the delivery room is definitely a life changing moment. How you want me to describe it … mmm … let’s put it this way; it is like, out of the sudden, there is a totally new dimension just created in your universe. On the individual level, I am enjoying every bit of the experience and I am finding it very challenging. Would I be considered as a successful father? I guess Husam will be the only judge of that (with his potential brothers and sisters of course) … if he, once in his blessed lifetime (En Sha’a Allah), remembered me with any good or mentioned in any virtuous moment that ‘my father taught me that,’ then I will be certainly satisfied with my fatherhood accomplishment.

Have I changed a diaper … ohhhhh yaahhhh. And allow me to add something here. It might be a popular perception about Saudi males that they make lousy household partners. I believe there is some good news for the new generation ladies; Saudi males are changing! I would not talk about myself, but let me tell you that I know that a lot of my friends who just became parents are actively participating in their families’ lives.

You are labeled as an ‘idealist.’  Would you mind explaining why this is so?  How do you feel about this label?

Yeah, that’s right! Most of my friends call me this way. I believe the reason is that I like to live my life according to certain rules and moral codes. And it happens that they find some of these rules … strange!! And when I say strange, I do not mean that I invented these rules or anything, they just find them to be strange in regard to the Saudi society. Let me give you and the readers some examples; I do not download copy righted materials from the Internet; no movies, no music, no books! I do not buy Windows for 10 riyals on a pirated disk and I do not have a cracked copy of Photoshop. If I want any of these materials, I go and buy them. Sometimes from the local store and sometimes via Amazon.com. Now for someone living in the States, this would not be so strange. But according to the Saudi standards, this is waaaay abnormal.

The other example I am about to give could also be used to answer the second part of your question. I do not like labeling people based on their religions, opinions, or school of thoughts. I believe that everyone has the right to think and believe in whatever he deems convenient. Even more, I do not usually buy labels such as liberal, idealist, conservative, secular, etc… These schools has been found and nurtured in very different circumstances and I am not sure it is appropriate to reflect them on our own local conditions.

Now, is that idealism?! I believe not, and I am sure there a lot of people who share these traits with me in Saudi.

I understand that you are an individual who believes in being prompt and on time.  Why do you think so many Saudis pay little regard to actual times of appointments or meetings?  Why is it so widely accepted in the culture to be “lax” about timings (except prayers)?

Now being punctual can be added to the examples we were just discussing about being idealist!! The reason why we developed this total disrespect to time is beyond me. You just said something very interesting. We are very punctual in the times we call for prayers, right?  Don’t you see people closing shops and leaving offices before the pray time by 15 minutes or so just to get ready! Now, how come such punctuality is not extended to our other daily activities? I truly do not have an answer to that.

To make the long story short, I believe our behavior in regard to time is one of the reasons that, in a lot of things, we are still considered as a member of the happy group called ‘The Third World.’

As a Saudi male, what are some of your favorite pastimes and activities?

This might sounds like a cliché but my books are my friends. I am a big time reader and I like to read in different subjects. And by the way, seeing me carrying a book in public is another reason my friends call me idealist!!

Besides that, I love sports and like to follow up on European soccer leagues. I like to jog whenever I find time on my hands or feel under pressure, jogging is a mind relaxing exercise for me. I also like movies and TV shows. The out and about activities … mmm … although I am living on a coastal city, I am not a big fan of the sea. However, I really hope to be able to go on a camping trip in some beautiful and exotic place sometimes … where, I am not yet sure!!

Now I’d like to segue and learn more about you and blogging.  When did you first discover blogs in general?  And at what point did you decide to establish your own blog?

I would like to consider myself among the firsts who discovered the magic of Internet in Saudi Arabia back in 1999. I remember those times when Internet cafes administrators were asking for money to help you set up a Hotmail or Yahoo email account. Thanks God we came a long way since then!

I started writing, not blogging, on different Internet forums. That was the trend by then. However, I was not committed to any one of them. The reason is simple, those forums were administrated as privately owned companies where the managers, the forum administrators in this case, were steering those forums in one direction and wanted no body to disturb that balance. I had so many clashes with those people because I was critical in a lot of times and they were not open to different point of views. Don’t you think it is really amazing how our real life shortcomings are also transferring with us to the cyber world? I mean as Saudis, we are still lacking this mentality of debating to seek the truth or to reach a common ground for all of us.

Anyway, the natural step after that would certainly be blogging. But this step took a while. Once you step into your twenties, a huge part of your future is dependent on those few days. The engineering school, graduation, finding a job, and then getting married consumed a huge chunk of my time by then. But in all cases, it is better late than never. I started an Arabic blog in 2007. I have to admit that I was not taking that blog seriously. Although the readership rates were good and I had the chance to develop some good relations with many of my blog readers or with other bloggers who kept reading my posts, I was not posting regularly. And this is obviously the killer trap that any blogger might fall in.

Recently, I decided to focus and get my act together and started ‘An eye on Saudi’ blog in English language. So far so good, actually more than good. I did not expect the initiating phase to be that exciting, but it certainly is …

I understand your first blog was in Arabic and then you created “An Eye on Saudi.”  What prompted the chance in direction?  Who is “An Eye on Saudi” geared for?  What difference would you like to make through your blog?  And where do you hope to see your blog in five years?

The ‘An eye on Saudi’ has been created to serve what I believe to be a niche market. The Saudi business market. As I am currently adding the final touches on my MBA (Master of Business Administration) degree, I was looking around for blogs that are specifically talking about my region. Unfortunately, there was not much. So the idea was born and a niche market is just out right waiting. I yet had to decide in which language the blog should be written in. I decided to go with English this time. So here we go, ‘An eye on Saudi’ was born. Although the idea itself might suggest a professional blog, I would like to see my blog more of a personal one.

In five years … mmm … I really hope my blog will attract some loyal readers from around the globe. Yes, I am covering local business issues, but do you know what is so great about management? It is an international language. The principles are almost the same in US, Argentina, France, China, and Saudi Arabia; only flavors are different.

What are the top five criteria you believe makes a blog successful?

This is a debatable topic. For me I would label a successful blog by how many loyal readers it could attract. Loyal readers generate debates and discussions. These discussions will shape the views and maybe practices of both the blogger and the readers. Just imagine writing a blog post that might changes another person, whom you never met, way of thinking, code of action, or maybe changes his/her life altogether!

Another sign of a good blog is how it could help you build good relationships with people you would never possibly meet in your daily life. Many type-A-bloggers usually talk about how their blogs won them friends and how they had the chance to meet one of them in an overseas trip just because they were mentally engaged over a blog post here or there.

All in all, readership ratings, number of comments, and search engines results are all important, but should not be considered as the first priority. They can only give some indications of success, that’s all …

Which blogs in Saudi are more popular, English language or Arabic language?  And why?

That’s a tough question. I believe the Saudi English blogs are doing much better compared to the Arabic ones. The reason … mmm … I do not want anybody to misunderstand me if I say English blogs are attracting more sophisticated readers. That does not mean, in anyway, that Arabic blogs readers are not sophisticated or well educated. Those English writing bloggers and their readers are still Saudis. But I cannot truly put my finger on the truly underlying reason for that. Maybe bilingual Saudis are reading more or more attached to the Internet compared to the Arabic only readers … I said maybe!

How do you think blogging is perceived in Saudi Arabia?

Not very well, I am afraid. And it does not need a rocket scientist to prove it; just think of the following question: How many Saudi public figures you know is maintaining a blog? The answer is: almost none!! And this is not only a Saudi situation, it is an Arabic situation. I believe blogging in the Arab world is still far of being recognized as a source of learning, stimulating minds, initiating debates, and may be a force of change.

What have you found to be the most common question Saudis ask about expats?

Religion. As a religious society, we are very concerned about other religious beliefs. Even if we do not directly ask, it keeps burning at the back of our heads till we know. Remember when we talked about labeling others. Religious labeling is famous around here. With only some logical thinking we could reach the conclusion that knowing that someone is not a Muslim does not directly qualify him to be the devil himself! I can give examples of some people who call themselves Muslims and they can compete with Satan in their evil acts!! However, it is fair to say that such kind of perception is decreasing especially among the well educated and open minded Saudis.

What is the most common question you have been asked by expats about Saudis?

How many oil wells you have? Strangely, Saudis are mostly synonymous to great wealth in expats minds. Till of course they come to Saudi and realize that we are normal society with many social classes. And do not let me start talking about expats who imagine Saudi Arabia as a huge desert with multiple tents where camels are the most common way of transportation. Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but there are a lot of people who still have similar images about this country. That’s why they get very surprised when they lay a foot on our soil.

Do you think there is appropriate interaction between Saudis and expats in the Kingdom?  Why or why not?

No, I am afraid not. Should I exaggerate again and say that about 90% of expatriates are not socially interacting with Saudis in any way. Anyone who visited Saudi Arabia must’ve developed some kind of understanding to what we like to call ‘compounds’. Different social rules are taking place within those walls. Although Saudi Arabia has always been a destination for a lot of foreigners, I am not sure why those compounds barriers have not been lowered with days. You rarely see a Saudi family going out on a day trip with a non Saudi one. It seems that both Saudi and Expats have to work this out together. I do not want to blame Saudis for everything; expats should also develop some trust and understanding of the Saudi culture.

What in your view are the five most important tips to give an expat in Saudi Arabia?

Firstly, be open minded and ready to change a lot of your perceptions and expectations about this country. Secondly, I would say give the Saudis some trust and some benefit of the doubt, after all, most of them are really good at heart. Thirdly, show respect to the Saudi religious and cultural practices even if you do not totally understand them. Fourthly, take the initiative and try to break the ice and go beyond the compound walls; believe me, you will be surprised of how welcomed you will be. Fifthly, just have fun and enjoy your stay!

What places do you recommend an expat should see and visit in Saudi Arabia?

It is unfortunate to say that we lack a certain understanding of tourism business. Nevertheless, there are some places that might be worth visiting. I could be regarded as biased in here but Jeddah is a must for anyone who want to move around in the country. This city has a charm that few cities in the world have; something like London, Paris, Rome, New York, etc …

Then there is a lot historical sightseeing that might be interesting to cultural minded folks, however, such trips are better be arranged with tour guides. Again, most of, if not all, our cities are not so tourists friendly. Forget about maps, information desks and public transportation. Yes, I know, we still need some work!

In closing, are there any additional comments you’d like to make?

Thank you again for this lovely interview. I enjoyed my time and hope your reader would enjoy theirs as well …

Thanks so much, Saad, for accepting this interview.  It is going to be exciting to see how your blog continues to grow!

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