It is not often that as a blogger I get downright melancholy or very personal for that matter. I guess as I write this post late at night I am in a deep and reflective mood. It never occurred to me when my husband and I left Riyadh back in March on that Saudi Airlines flights for the States that now in mid-December we would still be in the United States. The longer I have been away from Riyadh the more I realize how it became home. I have such dear friends in Riyadh whom I miss a lot. Because we have been away for so long and it is still nothing but a big looming question mark on when we 
will be able to return I had to make a difficult choice and give my loved cats up for adoption. I realized I had to stop thinking selfishly of what I wanted and do what was in the best interests of my cats. With the future so uncertain it was not fair for them to be passed from temporary home to temporary home and being disrupted and unsettled until I knew what our plans are. I know I made the right decision for them but that certainly does not make it easier. I’ve never given up a pet and I’ve had my cats since I rescued them both back in 1998 from Pakistan!
So you may be wondering what is wrong with Bedu? Why is she writing like this? As difficult as it is for me to admit to myself, I am writing these words because I am scared and uncertain of the future. I’m scared for both myself and my spouse. In 2008 we both had our initial diagnosis of cancer. Mine was breast cancer in May 2008 followed by a mastectomy. Just as I was healing well and able to return back to full time work, my spouse was diagnosed in November 2008 with a rare and aggressive leukemia. I was fortunate to obtain a leave of absence to be the full time caregiver for my husband and we both literally moved into his hospital room while he received treatment in Riyadh. During his treatment I realized how strong a person he is in strength and faith. And from his own strength I was able to remain strong and positive and supportive to him.
It was determined that my spouse would require a stem cell transplantation and that was when we chose to travel to the States to continue his medical treatment. By this time it was March 2009. Ironically prior to traveling, in mid-February it was recommended I have additional surgery as a proactive measure against future cancers. So we boarded that Saudi Airlines flight together in March making our way very carefully since both of us were weakened at that point. Thankfully a brother-in-law accompanied us as neither I nor my husband were supposed to carry anything due to our respective conditions. And coincidentally, his brother-in-law was also a perfectly matched donor who was honored to give his eldest brother the gift of stem cells.
We arrived in Houston and it was not long before we got into a routine. Thankfully MD Anderson has one of the best 
programs to teach one how to be an excellent caretaker. They answer every question and provide information you may not have thought of to ask. And of course, my husband was always a trooper. In spite of feeling the intense fatigue that comes with chemotherapy he would still make himself walk and do exercises to keep his muscles limber. As a wife, I could see his pain yet he never spoke a word about it except to squeeze my hand hard at times. I wanted to take all his pain away.
Anyone getting ready to undergo a stem cell transplant has to go through the most rigorous chemotherapy treatment. The entire immune system must be destroyed in order for the body to be able to receive new and leukemia free stem cells. Not everyone makes it through this rigorous chemotherapy and those who do usually suffer a multitude of side effects. My husband was no exception and again, we lived together in a hospital room. I never wanted him to think or feel that he was ever alone even though at times he was under such strong medications he had no idea where he was let alone who was with him. My admiration and love for him continued to increase as I saw how steadfastly he faced each challenge, each treatment and without complaint. Of course his strong and devout faith played a large role too. He told me how Allah has wished for him to have leukemia so he was accepting of the disease ravaging his body.
The day one receives a stem cell transplantation is considered a new birthday since that is the day the gift of life is received. My husband and I held hands as the stem cells were infused into his body. I could not hold back my tears and just let them fall freely down my cheeks and onto our entwined hands. While there were some critical points in his recovery, overall he did so well. By early October we were told to start planning our return to Riyadh! The doctor gave me a green light to leave Houston and visit my new Grandson in North Carolina. A day before my flight to North Carolina I noticed that I was feeling unwell and that I had swollen lymph nodes exposed on different parts of my body. Rather than fear a delay in travel, I chose to see a doctor after arriving in North Carolina.
I saw a doctor and of course various tests were administered. I had to be patient and wait for the results. In the meantime I received a shocking and disturbing phone call from my husband. He was having what everyone believed to be the final medical review which included a bone marrow analysis. Since the last bone marrow taken a week ago indicated leukemia free, complete remission and totally grafted of the new cells, we never expected to hear anything but more good news. Oh how wrong we were. Just in one short week my husband’s leukemia had returned. I told my husband I would make immediate plans to rejoin him but I should wait to hear the results of my own tests since my appointment was the next day.
I figured that I was likely exhausted and perhaps had picked up some kind of a bug given the swollen glands. I was fortunate to have a very thorough doctor here in North Carolina for he ordered an extensive battery of tests. As I sat in his office with my mind on making flight reservations and getting back to Houston to care for my husband, the doctor delivered his own bombshell. My own cancer had relapsed. It had not only relapsed but was also at a more aggressive and critical stage. I would require immediate chemotherapy for 18 weeks and then followed by radiation treatment.
I’m sure none of you would have wanted to hear the conversation that night between me and my husband. We were both in such a state of shock but knew we also had to think in practical terms. I would not be able to take care and administer to him as he would need while I was also undergoing treatment. He in turn would not be able to take care of me during my treatment. The hard choice was made for me to remain in North Carolina and receive treatment where my son and his family could take care of me. In turn, he had additional family come from Saudi to take care of him.
So now, here we are. Apart and each fighting our own battles. I have had such a multitude of different questions go through my mind from positive thinking to the opposite end of the spectrum with some very negative thinking. I do believe that Allah does not give us more than we can handle and that has become my daily mantra. I am concerned because with the separation I am seeing and hearing my spouse become more inwardly focused. I realize he needs to draw on all his resources and strengths for his fight. I miss him and worry about him.
And now going through similar procedures and treatments I understand only too well how brave and strong he has been. I am trying to do the same but some days I feel so tired. On those days I ask myself when will we be able to return to Riyadh? Will we return to Riyadh? When and where are we going to be together again?
Last of all, I miss my spouse. In the earlier times of our marriage we had circumstances which had us apart. When we arrived together in Saudi we both promised the other, no more separations. Insha’allah, he and I will come through this challenge and can once again lock hands at night as we say bismill’allah until the next day arrives.
I also wish to sincerely thank Susie at Susie of Arabia for all of her support and strength!
Filed under: America, Animals, Health, Saudi Arabia, Saudi Living, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, breast cancer, cancer, culture, gender, islam, pets, relationships, religion, travel | Tagged: America, blogging, cats, culture, culture shock, customs, gender, heritage, home, islam, KSA, Love, marriage, Relationship, religion, Riyadh, Saudi, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs
Oh, my heart goes out to you and your husband! I didn’t quite understand the seriousness of your illnesses until this post, as you have been an amazing writer and moderator! You have brought so many people together through this blog and built bridges through this labor of love. I have to admit, I was a bit jealous when I first discovered your blog, because I always considered myself to be the American Bedu. But after several months of readership, I know the honor goes to you!
I pray for peace and strength and comfort for your entire family during this delicate time, and I am so honored you would share this most personal of struggles with us. Please trust that your readers will hold you in our thoughts and prayers. and draw strength from them, as you have so generously given your time and effort for us.
You are both very strong at heart (even if your bodies aren’t currently), and I admire your strength so much. There has been so much cancer in my own family but I can’t even comprehend what both of you are going through at the same time but apart. God bless you both, and my prayers are with you.
Donna
Carol, you’ve been on my heart and mind all day … ever since I read Susie’s post. Please know you are being prayed for and we hope you and your husband are healthy and together again soon. I’m so glad you are being cared for by loving family though I know you long to be with your sweetheart. May God grant you both peace and strength. Know that we love you and are rooting for you.
Big Hugs!
Manal told me about your e-mail a couple of days ago. Insha’Allah, everything will work out for you two.
I think you know a but about my Mother in Law and her health issues. At one point the doctors gave her 48 hours to live so we all spent a lot of time there the next couple of days.
She had been through so much, so many different operations, pain and suffering. We all prayed a lot, some of our friends were nice enough to visit her, even though they didnt know her, and read Qur’an over her.
The doctors, experts in their fields, gaver her 48 hours to live. That was four years ago.
Never loose faith, even if the “experts” tell you different. Only God knows what is written for you. We will keep you both in our prayers with the firm knowledge that anything can happen and you will both see your home in Riyadh again together!
Allah Ma3akum.
Dearest Bedu,
How my heart aches for you! Sending lots of good energy and prayers and hope that [allah kareem] all will work out in the end. Love is a powerful force!
As Salaamu Alaikum Dear Carol:
Oh Carol! Love you!
I ask Allah (swt) Lord of the Worlds to cure the both of you/Ameen.
We are all saying dua for you both. Jazaka Allahu Khayrn for sharing the beautiful pictures.
Carol, you have endeared yourself your readers through your posts. I pray for both of you to be completely cured and be happily together again. You both are very strong people and you have to keep on telling yourselves and each other that you are going to get cured. Have faith and optimism.
Dear Carol,
Salam… Reading your blog has been a part of my daily routine. Felt sad to hear ’bout you and your husband’s condition/situation. Just wanna let you know that I will include you in my prayers. May Allah (SWT) ease your sufferings, inshaAllah… take care!
Oh dear Carol..
I don’t know how I’m feeling right this very second..but I’m somewhere between sad, amazed, inspired, heartbroken, any many conflicting feelings.
You have been going through all this, and yet still managed to carry on your day-to-day and continued to spread love and unity among all of us. I admire you Carol..and your beautiful-hearted husband for your patience, faith, hope, and endless love to each other. Masha’Allah!
I’m no psychic, but I see you two getting back on track even better than you’ve ever been insha’Allah. I will remember you and your husband in my prayers..and remember, “Where There’s Hope, There’s Life”.
So keep that beautiful and peaceful spirit of yours up and keep on hoping. Our hearts go out to you my dear Bedu.
Thank you very much to everyone for the kind outpouring of support and prayers. I do believe I can feel the additional prayers today. Both my husband and I had great days which we shared via skype. His eldest son arrived today for a visit which was some of the finest medicine he could receive!
And after my daily infusions at the hospital, I felt stronger today too and came home and shared holiday baking with my son. We made three differing kinds of desserts and cookies today together and it was a beautiful bonding time in the kitchen.
And then last but not least, my lovely 14 month old grandson learned to “wink” today.
One thing the illnesses of my husband and i have taught me is to learn and appreciate the simple things in life that give so much pleasure and love.
Thanks for sharing such an intimate,personal and inspirational story with us Carol.
All the best for you, your husband and the rest of your family during what must be a challenging time for all of you.
Carol,
I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. I have faith that the two of you will once again find, peace, happiness, and strength once again. God will see to it. He always does. Please, continue to write to us all. We (all of your followers, old and recent) just all want to be here for you, the way you’ve been here for us. Keep fighting Carol, don’t give up.
Sincerely,
Culturewatch
I have tears in my eyes from reading your post! I’ve been checking in with your blog for a short while now and it’s absolutely amazing how you’ve just kept it going. Ma sha Allah. What a testing time it is for you and your husband! I pray for your recovery and that you will be re-united with each other soon.
My dearest Carol
I have followed your wonderful blog writings for a long time now, I also live in Riyadh with my family. I have never left a comment, may you forgive me that it has taken something as traumatic as this in your life for me to reach out. I am sending my love and pray that Allah will heal you and your husband and give you both even more strength at this difficult time.
I’m lost for words. All I can say is you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong.
Carol, I am sooo very sorry to hear this bad news. I feel for you and your husband I hope that you will be able to be reunited soon but at the same time I am very glad that you are with your son and grandson. Having that precious one near you should make your treatment that much easier to deal with.
Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.
Carol,I think sometimes being sick/ill can be looked upon as a blessing in disguise. There is a total change in our demeanor when we are weak during sickness. Sickness reminds us of our vulnerabilities. It reminds us of our ‘humanness’ and our mortality. We realize the fragility of our existence and in essence we realize the power that Allah has over us. I look at sickness as a cleanser. It cleans the body, the heart, the mind and the soul.
I will inshallah make du’a for you and your husband’s recovery. Remember, there is Allah’s wisdom in whatever happens to us. May Allah bestow His blessings on you.Ameen.
Wishing you both strength, love, and better health
My heart goes out to both of you. I can only imagine what it must be like. Thank you for your wonderful blog and for teaching the lesson that we should take joy in the small things that we take for granted. Wishing you both the best.
my thoughts and du’as are with both of you…may Allah reunite you both in Ryaad soon, ameen
Dear Carol – I only have the deepest admiration for you in how you have handled this health crisis with such strength, dignity, and grace. You are a force to be reckoned with! People all over the world are cheering for you. Stay strong and keep thinking positive thoughts. We love you.
I am really at a loss of words, I don’t what to say that would provide you a little bit of comfort or support… If could be so hard and for us who are not living in your situation, it’s unimaginable how painful it must be for you, and what amazing strength you’ve shown to all of us…
Sincerely wish the best for you and your husband, and although we can never know what future has in store for us, we must still try to make the most of the moments we have. Keep up the spirit and we all love you dearly….
I am so sorry Carol, american bedu, reading your story made me feel really sad. I pray you and your husband get well soon. We all love your blog and will support you and pray for both of you in returning to Riyadh. Hopefully your cats got a home together, as they look so snug together sleeping. I wish you the best and I am sorry for everything your going through! Get well soon..
Thank you all for the words of inspiration and hope. I have learned to fully appreciate every day and every minute and another aspect of how the disease has affected me is no fear on speaking out my mind! (for better or worse!)
The blog does keep me focused and motivated and I will try very hard to keep it up to the standards and expectations that all of you have come to enjoy and expect. Please do forgive me if there are any transgressions.
I realize I’m a little behind on a few things such as the fun quiz…it’s almost ready.
But most of all, your support and words of encouragement make me feel not quite as alone and of course, alhumdilla’allah for my beautiful family and for blessings like skype so I can see my dear husband too.
Although we cannot take care of each other it is a catharsis for he and I to be able to share tips, hints and complaints! I’m jealous…he has more hair than me now! (LOL)
Thanks again everyone!!!
Hugs.
god bless you !
Always and Mohammed USA,
Thank you both very much for the support!
Carol,
Inshaa Allah you will both make it and remember Allah will choose the best for you. You amazed me, how strong you are…writing these posts in such case. Keep it up, and hope soon to hear good news…and to go back to your home, here in Riyadh.
Best
It’s difficult to go through all this but I know you’ll make it through… know that a lot of people are praying for you, and I’m just a phone call away…
Carol…
I am not sure that I have words fitting enough to tell you how much I admire you and your husband’s strength and courage. I know that this is a very uncertain time but God works miracles and surely you and your husband are in HIS heart and hands. When you are tied let Allah carry you with His strength and ease your concerns.
I will continue to pray for both of you and I am happy that both of you have the comfort of family around you to help you through this time. All of us are thinking of you and wishing only the very best for you because you feel, to me at least, like a friend. You are close to my thoughts…
God bless the both of you.
Hi Carol …
This is a story filled of love, courage, and faith … I really hope that the two of you will continue hanging to that strong faith and, En Sha’a Allah, you will both be back together very soon blessed with great health …
At the moment, we have nothing but to pray for you both with full hearts and confidence in Allah that you will be both in better conditions very soon … Ameeen
Insha~Allah you’ll return the both of you safely.
Dear Carol,
You have been an inspiration to us all both in good health and now when you are going through such a difficult trial. Thank-you for sharing and helping us learn to appreciate our blessings. I will pray for you and your dear husband and hope for a full recovery for you both.
Dearest Carol,
I am lsot with words here. I really appreciate your openess today, here in your blog. Although I have not met you faced to face, you have truly inspired me in many ways and have touched me in many ways. I am very sad about the abovementioned and I will pray over and over again for you, your husband and the family. You are such a strong person but certainly I have an open ear to hear you when the heart hurts.
Again, I pray for you and your husband.
With Much Love,
Jennifer
Finding out through Susie’s blog you are ill shocked me. My sister has a family member (in-law_ who is going through breast cancer treatment right now and it angers me what some health officials are thinking about doing regarding mammograms for women who are in their 40′s. I don’t understand where the logic is common from. Our health is too important to throw it away in such an off-handed manner.
I cannot imagine what you are going through right now and along with your dear husband. All I can say is you both will be in my prayers. Just words but prayers go a long way. I wish you only the very best.
As the list grows, so does the love of all those who visit American Bedu on her site every day.
No words I’ve got can express what has not been said already.
My prayers and hope for a good result goes out to you and your family.
assalam alikom wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu,
it’s my first time I’ve read Your blog ukhti
I’m with You and I’ll pray Allah ta ala heals You and Your husband . Ameen
Dear Carol, You are such a beautiful person… so many times your blog was filled with our petty grievances, and here you were, selflessly nursing your husband and tending to your own health concerns.
I admire you so much.
Dear Carol!
Im a frequent visitor here, although I dont comment often..
I enjoy reading your blog, and it has given me so many tips for life here in Riyadh
I wish you and your husband get well soon, and that it will be the end of your hardships, inshallah.
Like Allah tells us “verily, after every hardship, there is relief”.. just think of that, and say it to yourself when you get depressed.
I will pray for you, and hope you return to Riyadh soon, as it would be an honor to meet you personally one day!
-Laurea
Hello Carol,
a bit of a lurker here usually, your blog is on my daily reader and brings me a few new thoughts & ideas every week. I wanted to delurk and wish you all the best during this trying times.
you shall be in my thoughts.
Gaelle
Again I want to sincerely thank everyone for their heart touching comment. I do feel the love, the prayers and strength coming from all over the world. And your comments and outpour of support have made me believe I did the right decision in letting this post be posted.
And I have learned through this period to simply rejoice and don’t let the small things sweat . I appreciate each hour, each day and continually count the lovely blessings I’ve been given. In spite of the grave illness on both of our sides, I feel actually closer and more connected than ever with my husband and not only as the old married couple but even more together spiritually as a couple too.
I will try my best to keep the blog going and staying to my themes. And again with your support and encouragement, I know I can. Please let me know what subjects and issues interest you and I will write.
My love and joy and thanks to everyone! And if anyone wishes to email directly I can be reached at admin@americanbedu.com
dear Aishah from Poland – gen dobre, boysa nata gena! Thank you so much for your heartwarming words.
@gaelle and I also thank you for coming out of blurking to give special wishes and support.
This means a lot!
I wish you and your spouse all the best.
I got the bombshell by tracking yours and Susie’s blog on Google Reader.
No amount of shock could express the thoughts that went through my head this morning. I thought you had overcome the previous battle but I was wrong.
The news of your and your husband’s illness made me more aware of our own mortality. This news reminded me of my own regret of not meeting my late best friend and the sad thing, it’s her birthday tomorrow. =’(
Be strong and have faith in Allah. May you two go through this quickly to see each other and blog every single day, Insyallah. My thoughts and prayers are always with you and your husband.
I am very sorry to read this, how sad that you are both going through such a bad time and cannot even be together!
How sad that you have to give up your pets for adoption!
I am so so sorry to read about your trials.
Carol, I asked Friends to hold you and your husband in the Light at (Quaker) Meeting this morning. I am very heartened to hear you are both holding onto the thought that God does not test us beyond what we can handle. The flip side of this, of course, is that He will give the strength to deal with whatever comes. May you both take hold of Him in a special way at this time. Will continue to hold you in the Light.
Carol,
Your post brought tears to my eyes! You are truly a very strong and inspiring person. I have always admired your strength and determination in keeping ur daily posts while u r struggling with ur and ur husband’s illness.
You and your husbands are always in my prayers Inshallah.
May Allah grant you peace, hope, comfort and a speedy recovery and bring you back together soon InshallAllah..
Love and hugs!
Dear Carol,
My heart goes out to you both and believe me when I say, prayers from the bottom of the heart all day!
InshAllah you both return to Riyadh soon .We all pray Allah for you and your husband Carol.
Dear Bedu,
I happened to come across this blog of yours as i was searching for info about KSA as i will have to make a business trip there. Found it to be very informative and from then on it became a daily must read for me. I even read through the whole of the archives.
But this is the post where i am commenting for the first time. To let you know that You , Your husband and your family is in my prayers. May God give you and your family the strength to overcome this adversity.
God Bless!
Prayers and Wishes!
carol,
first of all, i pray with the almighty for you and your husband’s complete cure.
i admire your (both of you) guts to take the life as it is coming and sharing in this platform
i have stopped writing since i was diagnosed something serious. am taking a leaf from your life
again i pray with almighty for you both
gurudEva dayaa karo deena jane
I read you every day and it saddens me so to hear that your family are going through this very difficult and trying time. With all my heart I pray that God will grant you both the health that you so richly deserve – you are good people and the world needs more with hearts as pure as you two. My very very best wishes to you both…and thank you for sharing the dark times, it can’t be easy but know that you are helping others that are going through similar or just going through what they consider hard but not compared to your circumstances.
I discovered yours and Susie’s blog a while back and am curiously stopping by now and again. You are in my prayers, keep on going strong like you are!!
To all dear Commentors,
First please forgive me for answering recent comments in one bulk message. I am touched and feel strengthened by each and every one.
I am finding that to share about our challenge and feelings, it in turn gives me at least more strength, as if I’ve come around the corner from frustration and anger to now have acceptance, strength and peace. I cannot predict what the future is going to hold for either me or my husband but that would still be the same whether cancer is in our life or not. So we now find joy and peace in each and every day, don’t sweat the small stuff and remind ourself of how lucky we have been and we are. The outpouring of love and support just from folks on this blog have touched deep to our heart and add to that inner peace.
I guess what I would ask of those who read these comments is to take a moment for yourself to and give thanks to the blessings you have in your life.
I so wish my husband and I could be together at this moment. Fortunately he is being taken care of by his two eldest children and I am with my son. And with my son I have the added bonus of the best medicine one can receive 24/7 with my young grandson on site and full of love and laughs. Granny C (yeah, another nickname for Bedu) is happy to say that he thinks bald is funny and beautiful and has learned to wink at his Granny!
I ask for your continued support and encouragement for me to continue the blog and to keep it on track, even in spite that some days the posts may be reflective of what the doctor’s call “chemo brain.” (that’s when no matter how hard you try, you are just a little slow and not thinking as clearly).
Again, thank you everyone.
Calvin, Bul Bul and Moysa,
Thank you so very much! I don’t want people saddened by the situation of my and my husband but rather take time to focus on how precious life is and appreciating all of the beautiful gifts we are given…sometimes we just need to take time and think about that and give thanks!
I do appreciate the prayers and words of support. My husband and I can certainly feel the strength and power of prayers coming from all over.
Dear Carol
All our prayers are with you and your husband. God is in your side. You are such a wonderful and beautiful person. I know there is not too much to say but the prayers of many is a powerful tool.
Dear Maria,
My husband and I thank you and are appreciative of your comment of support and prayer!
Carol and Abdullah
Carol,
My thoughts are with you. Mashallah to you for keeping up your blog during such a tough time in your life. Einshallah you all will have passed through this test and be reunited soon.
Thank you Lindsey!
Abdullah and I are remaining confident and strong even in spite of the days when we have our “chemo brain.” Most important is to keep a positive attitude!
Oh, Carol, I am so sorry to read of the troubles you and your husband are experiencing. And I know it is even more difficult since you are not together! I wish you both the best.
May Allah cure you and your husband. Remember this illness serves as a “shifa” or expiation for your sins.
I’m not sure if you’ll take me seriously here but if you ever need help with anything, let me know. I am in Riyadh and would be more than willing to assist you in whatever way I can.
Make du’a that you and your husband are reunited soon. I can’t imagine you going through this without him by your side. Just try to be patient and remember there is wisdom behind everything Allah does. Perhaps in separating the two of you Allah wishes for you to both strengthen your relationship directly with him so call on him more and he will answer your call. At the very least this illness will serve as a stiff reminder that no matter how many people we have in this world that we care about when our time comes we will leave them to reunite with Allah, our creator. Prepare for that now. Just prepare.
Thank you so much Umm Tom and Umm Tiflain. I am reading these comments just after a chat with my hubby and realize how fortunate we are even if we are unable to be together right now. I have all confidence we will make it through this challenge.
Wishing you Godspeed, good health & lots of love Carol…
ok.. let’s try this again.
Thank you so much Riyadh Mom! Thinking of you and your family too!
Such a very sorrowful post Carol, but you are right to share this. I am so sorry for you that you cannot be with your husband now, and that you are both having such a difficult time and have to deal with it apart.
And I know how much your kitties mean to you! My heart goes out for you.
Thanks Aafke…you may see a little change in some of my posts in that I am writing more candidly.
Gulp! Alf gulp, even. I have been away far too long, with the usual excuses of this and that, and wondered what you were doing, hoping you were still engaged in your Sisyphean task of promoting a realistic image of the Kingdom.
And whamo. You have your own, what we all hope will not prove to be, Sisyphean task, with the stone eventually becoming smaller. A lot of bad cards, as the expression has it, have been dealt you, and I thank you for the courage to share them with us.
Speedy recovery it won’t be, but I do wish you and your husband ultimate recovery from all my heart, and a reunion once again, in that city so many of us once called home, Riyadh.
- John Paul Jones
John,
I am always so happy when you stop by. Who knows…maybe we will meet up in Taos or Santa Fe before Riyadh given my husband is in Houston…although I’m still in North Carolina. Both of us are good fighters and determined with strong faith so we are as ready as we can be for the respective battles.
Thank you for the words of encouragement and strength!
My prayer goes with you and your husband. The two of you are very courageous. Insya Allah you will win your battle against cancer so will your husband.
Hang on in there Carol, Abdullah, the sweetest reward from Allah is waiting for both of you.
Sari Yusuf – Bali
dear carol, on reading you blog my heart goes out to you both, I was in a similar situation in the u.a.e alasdair lost his battle and I know cope alone in perth australia, this is when I miss all my local friends in the u.a.e. who went through and supported me. I n perth you just cope alone. my best to you both
Shukran, Sari.
We feel all the prayers and support and that makes a big difference in our strength and outlook!
Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for the words of support and I also wish you all the very best.
Hugs, Carol
Dear Carol, I peep in your blog once in a while and still enjoy reading your writings. I know my husband love reading your pieces although he doesnt leave much comment. Our prayers goes to you and your husband. God will not test us for something that we cannot take..Insyaallah you two will pull this through.
Dear Hanie,
Thank you so much for the words of comfort and support. I find it flattering to learn you and your husband peek in! Thank you!!
Dear Carol,
I am confident that you will come out of these tough times, much more stronger. Thank you for being so candid and i hope sharing this deeply personal experiences will prove cathartic to you. God bless you both.
Rasputing,
Thank you! I realize that their are so many others around the world who are facing greater challenges which make mine and Abdullah’s small by comparison.
Stay tuned…I guess from being a little sentimental I’ve got more posts coming up that are slightly different from what I typically write and focus more on the personal. I hope you enjoy.
Carol, I am so sorry to learn about this double downturn in the lives of both you and your husband. I wouldn’t have known– I haven’t followed anyone’s blog (even my own) for months– but Susie wrote and informed me.
Know that you are loved and respected even more for sharing this most difficult aspect of your life. I wish I could help you bear the burden somehow. I can only pray for you, and that might be the best help of all.
May Allah protect and cure you and your husband, and bring the two of you together again soon, and allow your return to Riyadh, in restored health and continued happiness. Ameen.
Dear Marahm,
Thank you for your words of support and comfort. I am also happy to hear from you and would be delighted to chat with you too. And we are both so blessed to have a lovely friend like Susie.
Hugs, Carol
Dear Carol,
My thoughts are with you and your husband in your hours of need.
I applaud you for sharing your very personal stories and experiences with the world, when many would be fearful of sharing, and I’m confident that this courage will see you through.
Care and hope,
Emma
Dar Emma,
Thank you for your support and kind words. I do feel very confident for me and my husband and know that we have so many beautiful people from around the globe with prayers.
May God bless you both
Thank you Um Rachid!
I am happy to say when I spoke to my husband today via Skype he looked so good!
I just found your blog and have spent the past two hours reading… You now have a new fan.
My heart goes out to you and your husband. Best wishes to you both.
Welcome Kristen and thank you! It is a pleasure to have you here at the blog.
Dear American Bedu,
I wasn’t sure whether to e-mail you this link or put it up here… I have been following your blog for a few months now and I NEVER comment. But I couldn’t help not commenting now and applauding you for your courage in sharing your story with cancer and letting it all out. I know it’s not easy; my dear aunt lost her battle with breast cancer 4 years ago as she kept it all to herself trying to spare us the grief thinking she would be less of a burden on her family that way. Anyway, this is a link to a video on YouTube portraying the struggle and hope of cancer patients, you have to see for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSolNmTF9a4&feature=related
I dedicate it to you.
Sincerely, Zuhur AlKhayat from Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
@Zuhur,
Thank you so much for not only breaking your silence and commenting but for that wonderful link. It is indeed inspirational and ever so moving.
I am so sorry to hear that your Aunt lost her battle with cancer. I sincerely hope that my outspokenness about cancer will in turn help and comfort others who are either in their own fight or supporting someone going through a fight. Cancer, regardless of which type, feeds on emotions. Therefore it is all the more important to have a strong support network, get the negative emotions and fear out of the system and FIGHT!
My heart goes out to you Carol, and i hope so much that you and your husband make it through this difficult time. You will be in our prayers
Welcome and thank you Kasatka!
I am doing well but would appreciate additional prayers for my husband right now. He’s having a little bit of a tough time and pray he will get through it soon.
I pray for both of you to gt through it soon.
Thank you so much Daisy! I do feel the power of all the prayers.
Carol, I can’t even speak.
How can anyone not be in tears after reading your post?
You are such a huge contributor to so many sites and groups, I’m sure that none of us can imagine you doing anything but fighting this and getting through it.
Sending love and a ginormous apology for not reading your email sooner.
Andrea x
Thank you very much Andrea! I greatly appreciate your words and support.
Came here through a mention of you by Andrea (above) on Twitter. I look forward to reading through more of your blog as you have a gorgeous way with words. xoxo from southern Italy
Dear Carol,
I hope for you and your husband a strong and speedy recovery. You are an amazing woman and your strength is astounding! Please know your readers are all out here pulling for you and your husband! You educate us constantly and I appreciate it.
Karen
@Michelle,
Welcome and thank you for your words of support.
@Karen,
Thank you! I do feel all the support that keeps coming in and it certainly helps give me strength!
I am so sorry for what you are going through! You both are in my prayers and thoughts.
My husband is going back to Dhahran on Monday and I am staying here, in Houston, for a few more months. If there is anything I can do to help out, please let me know.
Thank you so much Diana. All the prayers mean so much to us.
[...] and I left Saudi Arabia in March 2009 for his medical treatment, it was never with the thought that we would not return. As a result, when we left, we took two suitcases and left everything else we had back in Riyadh [...]