Comments on: Saudi Arabia: Abnormal is Normal

By: Daisy

Daisy — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:52:27 +0000

Radha and Carol,

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:17:50 +0000

@Radha – I can’t stop chuckling thinking about your area of specialization and how to make it work in Saudi! (smile) sorry…some days my off-sense of humor gets the best of me!

By: NeverEver

NeverEver — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:35:29 +0000

Oh and I’m not trying to imply that you cant do all of those things outside of Saudi because of course you can. Just that dressing this way, not driving, and staying home don’t seem like hardship to some people.

By: radha

radha — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:35:25 +0000

oh i have to add, i had plenty of fun shopping in dubai , visiting friends in bahrain and doha, desset camping trips where we had out own mini 5-star tent and best of all sharjah cricket match india vs pakistan .. ooh living in saudi was sooo worth it

By: NeverEver

NeverEver — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:32:30 +0000

Daisy
I think you are right that some Saudis do take it too far, and I think that most would expect their wife to go along/ respect their decision to go home. If they did not feel that the woman would respect this wish, they would not marry her.

Honestly I would really like to live in Saudi I think. It depends on the woman. Things other people see as limitations don’t seem to me that way. I already choose to wear abaya here in the US so this doesn’t bother me, I don’t like to drive, I plan on staying home with my children so that inshaAllah I can teach them to be good people. To each their own I guess.

Thanks for coming by the blog, and I’m glad you liked it

By: radha

radha — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:31:05 +0000

Ours took close to 5 yrs for approval, we didn’t bother much with it for about 3 yrs and then when we thought we should give saudi a try , we moved it into high gear, sorry i don’t know much details my spouse handled it .
I personally had a nice time there, made great friends who are close to us till date , Of couse my career dropped to the lowest low but i got to spend plenty of time with my kids. nothing against saudi but it’s something about being a female urologist in saudi treating specialized male disorders that didn’t go over too well.. F meanwhile had a ball.
the only regret i have is the part of his family that didn’t acept our marriage still didn’tcome around. oh well too much water under the bridge now.

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:55:01 +0000

Thanks, Daisy!!

By: Daisy

Daisy — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:38:00 +0000

Carol,
Thanks for explaining. You don’t have to apologise for this, it’s quite natural – I could be much worse.

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:53:48 +0000

@Daisy,

Forgive me if I made any confusion. I was referring to couples who marry outside the Kingdom in a recognized marriage and then have to wait for the governmental approval so they can live together in Saudi if that is what they wished.

Now I am aware that there have been some couples with a foreign spouse and due to a marriage not being recognized the foreign spouse comes into the Kingdom via an umrah visa and then just stays. However the risks of this are so immense and can involve deportation for the foreigner and imprisonment to the Saudi spouse. In my opinion, it is simply not worth those kind of risks.

@Aziz,

It is a shame how couples can be approached and asked to show proof. In my observations this seems to happen more when a Saudi male is accompanied by a spouse who is either uncovered (not wearing a hijjab) or the spouse appears foreign. The only time my husband and I were ever challenged on our relationship in Saudi was one time entering a compound to see from friends. This was a National Guard officer providing security for the compound. After he saw my residency card and my husband’s id, he smiled broadly and asked my husband “How did you do that?” meaning how did he get the approval as my husband’s vehicle also has a sticker identifying it with a government ministry. It just takes a lot of time and patience and again, so glad it worked out for you.

By: Daisy

Daisy — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:52:53 +0000

Carol,
I said in my comment I wasn’t denouncing Saudi Arabia, just wondering why they want to live as “illegal” couples there and go through so much hardship to get permission, rater than living legally elsewhere. I do agree with you a spouse should know about the place and heritage of his/her spouse. But even if it involves living “illegally” and going through difficulties for years?

NeverEver,
Thanks for your explanation. Radha who writes on this blog has a Saudi husband and livs in the US. I myself come from a culture where family matters a lot but each year my country sends amongst the largest immigrant populations abroad. I have also seen people from similar family values coming to my country and staying here for years away from their families because they come from dictatorships or politically disturbed places. Eventually, they go to some other country but not back to their home country, because of the difficulties involved in living there – many of them are neighbours of Saudi Arabia. I do feel Saudis take it too far – or perhaps they feel their spouse will accommodate them so much.
I saw your blog and liked it too.