Comments on: Are Saudi Women Really Too Emotional???

By: hala

hala — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:02:13 +0000

Yes, it’s true, a practice held to show the importance of the deceased person, older tradition rather than modern approach. I never witnessed any of such events, and I believe it’s not widely practiced, it’s rather rare and restricted to lower socioeconomic sects of the population…

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:35:55 +0000

In an aside, I was speaking with my husband on the topic of women paying respects at graves and he told me that a custom in Egypt is to hire individuals who will grieve and wail for the deceased (male and female) along the route to the graveyard. I was surprised to learn that.

By: Nada

Nada — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:43:51 +0000

I just wanted to point out that the main reason women don’t visit graves in Islam is because that is one of the Islamic instructions. It’s a rule. We are not supposed to break the rules nor are we supposed to argue against them.
We don’t know for sure that women were prohibited from visiting graves because they are over emotional. It is true, however, that in the time of the prophet (pbuh) women were seriously over emotional.
It was like a tradition for them to hit their faces and chests and wail in expression of grief.
That may not be the case anymore, but I personally believe in Allah and his wisdom. Whatever he allowed, he allowed for a reason. And whatever he forbad, he also forbad for a reason.

Of course, it’s a whole other issue if you want to talk about women being repressed or over protected in Saudi Arabia. I agree with those of you who said: (culture and Islam clash with culture being the winner in most cases)

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 18:37:42 +0000

@Hala – Very perceptive of your nephew!

By: hala

hala — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:19:28 +0000

I Think Yasmin has elaborated accurately on the topic of visiting the burial site from a Saudi Cultural perspective, I can’t add anything more… As for the question of how Saudi women relate to the visiting of a burial place of a loved one, I guess I can’t really say, since I don’t have -Thank God- any personal experience with this, I can relate to this from a perspective of my mother, an Egyptian woman, She used to gather us to visit the tombs of her parents in Alexandria every year after their death, this has discontinued some years afterward, I vaguely remember discussions of my parents about women visiting the burial sites, my father tried to convince my mother that this is not helping her parents, that she should do some good deeds and pray for them instead, my mother, either out of the passage of time or out of obedience, have stopped going eventually… I remember that visits to the grave were full of sadness and tears, she would hug us for days afterward as if to protect us from a similar fate, she would be a sad, withdrawn and contemplative person after the visits, I know that for years, despite not visiting her parents grave site anymore, she would mention them and her eyes would have the same sad expression of those visits, death is sad and how people cope with it- whether males or females- varies greatly and must be understood and respected, whether with visiting the grave sites or not… It’s funny that my 9 years old nephew, while watching on the road the open cemetery in USA has expressed concern on not being able to know where a loved one was buried in KSA, and that at least here in USA, people can relate -for a while- with their loved ones…

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 04:40:19 +0000

Thank you Yasmin for your comment and explanations.

By: Yasmin

Yasmin — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 03:52:22 +0000

Dear All,

I think there is a misconception as to what a Saudi gravesite looks like. While I have never gone myself, my husband has participated in his share of burials and has described to me the heat, smell and sadness of the occasion. Once the body is laid to rest there is nothing to distinguish its resting place from those of the others. Many people are laid to rest in the same grave depending on the type. There are those that are stacked and those that are more single occupancy. Many times its a matter of moving over the remains of a former occupant to accompany those of the new.
Women (or men) wailing at a gravesite or even the 3azza (which is similar to a wake without the presence of the body) is frowned upon as going against Allah’s will. We must all accept that we are mortal and our time on this planet is finite. To wail and weep and pull hair is in defiance of this fact although it is understandable that the loss of a loved one is a very difficult event.
In Islam, rather that dwell on the resting place of the Departed, it is much better to offer prayers, alms and good deeds in their name. Many people even perform or arrange for others to make Umrah or Hajj on the behalf of their dearly Departed. The idea of going to the gravesite is not part of the heritage or culture of Saudi society. People in other Muslim cultures erect tombs and make yearly pilgrimmages to gravesites of loved ones and saints which is seen as bidaa by many of the more conservative branches of Islamic thought.

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:47:24 +0000

@Hala – thank you for sharing your views. I am aware as you pointed out that Saudi graves do not have headstones. If lucky, there is some kind of stone or rock places where a body has been buried but that it can be very difficult to identity the location of the grave later. I guess I also wonder how do Saudi women feel about not going to the grave or burial site of a loved one? Would seeing the final resting place give them more comfort or are they content without the need to see by knowing the loved one is now with Allah?

By: hala

hala — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:19:49 +0000

Two points to comment on the topic, first, visiting burial sites of loved ones is not a usual act in Saudi society whether from men or women, in fact, once the burial ritual is done, you no longer able to distinguish where the tomb is, we don’t have head stones to mark each and individual grave site, most people do some deeds on behalf of the loved ones so that they can be rewarded after death, as alms giving and prayers…Second, the fact that women are prohibited as a protection is false, so as men treating Western wives differently because they’re emotionally stronger, I can assure you that many Saudi men leave -confidently and comfortably- the burden of kids and financial arrangements on their Saudi wives without any sense of need for protection, and as always, interesting topic…

By: fawad/jeddah

fawad/jeddah — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 07:39:32 +0000

well all is not that bad,isnt it?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

September 9, 2009 – Saudi Arabia has been ranked the 13th most competitive country in the world in the Doing Business 2010 report issued by the World Bank this month. The information in the report reflects data gathered from 2008 and 2009. The Kingdom has moved its overall ranking from 67th in 2004, 28th in 2006, 16th in 2007, to this year’s impressive ranking. Additionally, for the fifth consecutive year, Saudi Arabia has been ranked the best place to do business in the entire Middle East and Arab World.

Saudi Arabia’s recent economic reforms have made it easier to conduct business in the Kingdom. H.M. King Abdullah has made definitive efforts to modernize the Saudi Arabian economy by enacting a new foreign investment law, establishing business transparency through regulatory frameworks, and attracting greater participation from foreign investors in the economy. Since Saudi Arabia’s accession to the World Trade Organization in 2005, Saudi Arabian business practices have become even more accessible to foreign investors. H.E. Amr Al-Dabbagh, Governor and Chairman of the Saudi Arabian General Investment Authority (SAGIA), commented on the role of reforms in the improved ranking: “Saudi Arabia’s reforms demonstrate our determination to create the most attractive destination for investment opportunities in the world. We invite investors to learn more about the positive business environment in the Kingdom and to join in the growth of the business community.”

The ranking by the World Bank confirms that the Kingdom is well-positioned to achieve its ambitious goal of becoming one of the top 10 most competitive countries by 2010 known as the “10 x 10 Program.” The initiative is a series of measures which will contribute to economic reform as well as increased modernization of the infrastructure and education in the Kingdom. The World Bank ranking is one of many tangible ways the “10×10 Program” evaluates the Kingdom’s development. According to Dr. Awwad S. Al-Awwad, Deputy Governor for Investment Affairs at SAGIA and President of the National Competitiveness Center (NCC), the ranking is a true hallmark of the Kingdom’s economic development: “The Doing Business report is a vital reference for governments, international development agencies, and the private sector to assess the regulatory framework and competitiveness of nations. Saudi Arabia’s increased competitiveness signals the ongoing development of a dynamic and diversified economy in the Kingdom.”