I had the opportunity to speak with a Saudi man who is now in his mid-50’s. He kindly shared one of his earliest hajj experiences from when he was seven years old. Although his first Hajj was when he was six weeks old, naturally he does not remember the details of that one, but the Hajj when he was seven years old stands out in his memory as one he will never forget for a number of reasons.
It began when extended family from Riyadh arrived to his family home in Makkah. His Grandfather drove from Riyadh in his brand new olive green pickup truck. It was the first time for this seven year old boy to see such a vehicle. He was mesmerized by its size, its color and its newness. While the family prepared for their Hajj in getting things together which would be loaded into the cab of the pick up truck, he climbed into the cab while no one was watching.
Because this was a large family, several vehicles would be driven to Hajj but all the supplies such as tents, cooking utensils, food and clothing were to be loaded in the back of the pickup. The young boy remembers seeing the largest crate of tomatoes he’d ever seen being placed behind the truck. These tomatoes were to be the baseline of all the Saudi meals. They were set behind the truck for one of the Uncle’s said they needed to be loaded last in order to not get crushed or damaged in any way.
As the truck was being loaded with supplies the eldest member of the entourage, Great Grandmother, was positioned in her wheelchair slightly behind and to the rear of the truck. Due to her age and standing in the family she would naturally ride in the front seat beside her son (the Grandfather).
The young boy was like any curious seven year old boy of his age. He enjoyed sniffing in the newness of the truck as he looked at all the differing dials and gear shift. Although he does not recollect doing so, somehow the truck was shifted into neutral. And, to his horror, it began moving ever so slowly backwards. An Uncle was the first to notice the moving truck. In horror he dropped the utensils he was carrying and shouted to the rest of the family “the truck, it’s moving….” Grandfather glanced up from what he was doing and his mouth dropped open in shock. He yelled “Nabil, come quickly…the truck…it is moving.” For you see, during these times, it was more common to engage a driver and neither Grandfather nor the Uncle knew how to operate the truck. In the meantime the Uncle was yelling “the tomatoes…the tomatoes…the truck is going to roll over the tomatoes” and Grandfather was scurrying to save his mother from being struck by the rolling truck which was steadily gaining momentum.
Thankfully Nabil came running and jumped in to the truck. He quickly pushed the young boy to the opposite side of the cab and stopped the truck. He exited the truck holding firmly onto the arm of the young boy. “YOU!” his Grandfather exclaimed. “What were you doing inside the truck as we are preparing for Hajj?” The young boy was so small that no one had been aware even when the truck was moving that it was occupied. Without attempting to answer any questions, the young boy ran inside the house to his mother.
The family counted their blessings that a catastrophe was averted and continued their preparations for Hajj.
Back in those days, in the 1950’s Hajj was quite a different experience than today. A family had to take their own tents and set them up in Mina. Separate tents were set up for men and women. And at least with this particular family, the tradition was that during Hajj the men would do all the cooking while the women were given an enjoyable break. However due to the traditional practices of segregation the adult men could not serve the women. Therefore the young boy was relegated to the task of serving the women. He would bring them their food and tea. Anytime they needed something, he was summoned to assist them.
Their Hajj party was made up of more than 25 family members. It was a memory the Saudi man has never forgotten. Neither has the rest of his Saudi family!
Filed under: culture, islam, religion, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi Living, Uncategorized Tagged: | culture, culture shock, customs, islam, KSA, Mecca, religion, Saudi, Saudi culture, Saudi customs
I will never understand sex segregation within families.
Great story!
I suspect the segregation within the family–beyond the usual thing of keeping marriageable relatives separate–is to avoid temptation during Haj. Religious rites and sex don’t usually mix.
There was actually a time when men did the cooking and boys did all the running back and forth?!!!
Ok tell me the truth…this is the lead up to a Disney movie right?
Another parallel to American men, and Saudi men is that during desert outings Saudi men like to take control of the cooking. It’s similar to the way American men like to take control of the grill during BBQs.
I’ve never experienced Hajj, but the man’s Hajj experience seems greater to what it is now.
nice remembrance from memory
Waw, he remebereed a lot at such an early age! And I love the stories of ”the olden days” in KSA!
And I could almost feel the exitement myself when reading this
Broke Saudi: you are so right! We had a barbeque only two nights ago, and it’s só funny! As soon as the whiff of an open fire and fresh meat reaches the nostrils of men, they immediately take over, the lighting of the charcoal, the decision when it’s hot enough to place the meat, standing by the barbeque, tending the meat, and bringing the cooked ones to the women!
A men’s job defenitely!
The only time I have done it myself id when there are no men about!
American Bedu, I really liked this post.
Coolred, LOL, seriously, I too cannot imagine seeing Muslim men nowadays cooking and setting up camp at all, let alone on hajj. My husband and I are one of the few Muslim couples in our town who actually like the outdoors and love to camp. Most just seem allergic to the whole idea.
“Olden Days” indeed Aafke! LOL. Imagine when Muslim men weren’t crying over the lack of 4 star accomodations. It’s hard to believe that one. Esp the part about women NOT having to cook. Show me a Muslim man that loves to cook and I’ll show you a purple chipmunk! LOL.
Oh wait, disclaimer time, (lest I get harrassed) GRILLING doesn’t count as real cooking! I’m talking about slaving over pots of rice and daal all day.
I am enjoying all the comments received. I believe that especially during Ramadan and Hajj times the Saudi men are indeed more considerate and helpful. For example, during Ramadan, my husband takes pleasure in being the one to prepare and serve the kawa during iftar. And I think a lot more men than we may realize will pitch in during these times and help out.
I liked the example of men taking over the BBQ grill…yes, I do believe that is universal!
@sabiwabi – don’t slave over pots of rice anymore…get a rice cooker – they’re great! (smile)
LOL! Just started using one! ( I wasn’t necessarily referring to myself here, just an observation of most Muslim households)
Did you know that you can make quinoa in rice cookers too? And I have a recipe for making a chocolate cake in a crock pot. I always take shortcuts!
The men do cook when they camp in the desert or when they go fishing.
@Sabiwabi,
You are right. I have always thought about starting a Muslim American outdoors association. I grew up camping, hunting and fishing.
This, however, isnt common for American Muslims. I think it has to do a lot with the background of most American Muslims who dont have roots in the USA.
They come from privledged and well to do backgrounds in their home countries where fishing, hunting and camping is often what lower class and poor people due to make ends me.
For me there is nothing better than jumping on a wheeler, driving 30 miles into the middle of nowhere, do some fly fishing, pitching a tent, and staying a few days.
My two years in Alaska were bliss from that aspect.
BTW, I love to cook and I am really good at it, my wife just doesnt let me!
I have been told time and time again that all great cooks are men !! Unfortunately said greatness escapes my man. he can make general rice/sandwich type food,anything beyond that is too much for the brain. I came home one eve a few months ago to a green splattered stove and surroundings – his attempts at palak paneer
spinach/tomato/onions/cook/blend/cook /season/and add paneer. in whatever order you want . I have really no recollection of how it tasted, the green state of my kitchen killed my apetite. The cook forgot to put a lid when he set the final blended concotion to boil and setteled to read ….do you know how hard it is to remove dried turmeric pureed spinach !!!
looking back it’s funny now and so sweet of him!!!
Sabiwabi, there are purple chipmunks? Really????
AbuSinan, I also love camping, but you can’t hunt in the Netherlands, maybe I’ll visit!
I’m off day after tomorrow for a spot of luxury camping!
Radha, The few great chefs are men, because it’s prestigious and makes a lot of money, as soon as it is daily hard work and unpaid it’s suddenly woman’s work….
I am sure F could learn…
Oh, I can just imagine your husband in the kitchen Radha and sort of akin to my own…particularly where blenders are concerned! (LOL)
don’t remember how chipmunks and purple ones at that entered into the commentary but reading it makes me want to share my squirrel story of two days ago!
A family member and I were walking through Hermann Park in Houston. We were in a beautiful part of the park that even had a lovely Japanese garden complete with goldfish ponds, bridges and benches. As we were walking, we passed by a bushy squirrel. Okay…I tried to “chatter like a squirrel” loving animals as I do…and to our surprise, the squirrel started coming at us! Since my family member is recovering from an illness we turned our backs to move away. The squirrel actually started chasing us! I had visions that I was going to have to place myself behind my family member and the charging squirrel to protect my family member! I guess there are so many visitors who must feed the squirrels that they literally lost their fear of humans!
Aafke, if you’re out camping and eat just the right mushrooms, there are purple chipmunks everywhere…(at least that’s what I’ve heard).
So, why isn’t there hunting in the Netherlands? What do they do for animal “crowd control”? If they didn’t hunt here in Wisconsin, there would be a deer on everyones front lawn.
Abu S, Yeah, they’re mostly American converts. They’re a huge bunch of them in northern NM. I always thought I’d raise my kids out there, but never ended up staying. Their kids would go on 5 mile desert hikes with us in just their bare feet. I remember thinking “that’s how I want my kids to grow up”.
Carol: Oh, I had to laugh at your “squirrel chatter”! LOL! I am an expert squirrel caller. I used to sit on my porch and “chatter” and they would all come running. My mom called me the squirrel whisperer. Since I was a kid, they would come up to me and I would feed them out of my hand. Love them.
Carol, I loved the Hajj story and also your squirrel story. Better not be calling those critters unless you have some food to throw their way. At my sister’s house, they carried off the bird feeder….house and all!
@Miriam Mac – glad you enjoyed and thanks for the advice!
Oh my squirrel stories…heres mine.
When we lived in Denver I was sitting outside my aprtment eating nuts. A squirrel came down and begged one off me so I held out my hand and he came up cute as a woodland creature can be and….
NEARLY PULLED MY ENTIRE THUMBNAIL OFF TRYING TO GET THE NUT!!!
Darn thing had latched onto the nut and my thumbnail and wouldnt let go of either to save his life. I was literally jumping up and down shaking my arm like it was on fire with this huge bushy squirrel attatched.
Was quite sometimes before he finally let go and scampered off…with the nut…not my thumbnail.
I was NOT amused…but my kids were rolling in the grass…stinkers!!!
@sabiwabi
my husband does All the cooking, most of the cleaning and he feeds and changes our baby most of the time. lol so how about those purple chipmunks lol
my husband is probably the rare exception… and im sure most wouldnt expect that from a salafi but hamdulilah i got blessed
coolred38…loved your squirrel story. Glad you still have your thumb!!! They are nothing like the cartoons!
it sounds like an entertaining book could be written on squirrel stories…I was easily picturing coolred and the persistent squirrel!
”Attack of the Killer Chipmunks”…
Soon, in a cinema near you…
Sabiwabi, I am packing right now, for a camping trip…. Will keep you up to date as to purple chipmunks…
LOL Aafke….best of luck in your quest!
Coolred! OMG! Almost the exact same thing happened to me! I called the humane society to see if i should be worried about the bite and the man on the other end said “there they go again, those damn bloodthirsty squirrels”…LOL!
I was pregnant at the time of my bite and it really freaked me out. Now that fetus is a 4 year old and still no signs of squirrely superpowers. Ha!