The “evil eye” exists even for those who don’t believe in it, because it is determining parts of the culture around them. The story of the twins, announced as only a girl, says alot about the value placed on male infants over female ones. I’ve often thought that it would be best to announce the gender of the fetus along with announcing the pregnancy, if it were known for sure, as a way, especially in more patriarchal cultures, to allow everyone to adjust and be happy with the gender by the time of the birth. In that way the new baby would come into a more welcoming world (hopefully). This must be done, in my view, after the danger of spontaneous abortion in the first trimester has passed, even if the gender is known very early and reliably with one of the newer tests.

However, based on what you say, that might have negative psychological consequences in light of fears about the evil eye. Given that anyone wanting to give someone the evil eye is probably doing other psychologically and socially damaging things to that person, it might increase the negative efforts to have so much advanced knowledge.

Thank you for welcoming me here

Chiara

Indeed the stereotype is hard to break. But I’ve learned from experience that if you keep an open mind and use that brain for good you’ll find that not every stereotype is true, hardly any. A close British friend of mine once asked me if the image I had of Brits before I came here is still the same. I admit that people in Saudi told me so much about typical Englishmen but I don’t see that extent of a perception to be justified, yes there are things that “seem” to have its roots in reality but not to the extreme I was lead to believe. Don’t get me wrong, people are people all over the world, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It is still amazes when I see the reactions of Saudis after we meet for the first time and I like for my wife to know the family (wife) of the person I’m talking to, especially when I say ” is it ok for Fatima (my wife) to come and visit your wife one day, she likes to make friends from back home”
This mentioning of Fatima’s name either has a reaction of “are you nuts, saying her name, at least say Umm .. something” or the absolute opposite ” yeah sure that would be a great privilege, she can visit any time and get to know X” with X being his wife’s name.
This is just a small test by which anyone can have a rough idea of the level of “privacy” standards we still have as Saudis.

As for the “evil eye”, even if you don’t believe it exists (or in the extreme version of the old wives tale … burning things up or killing people just by looking at them) some people still give you a weird feeling inside when you tell them of something good that happened to you. I guess that is why some prefer to at least delay the announcement of pregnancy, engagement, promotion at work, or even marks and grades at school.
Some might take it too far as a lady who had twins (boy and girl) but only told her friends and neighbours that she had a girl only, I might be ok with not telling all the relatives and extended family, friends and everyone you know about the sex of the baby during pregnancy for several reasons, but after birth … this is just over kill.

AB, I admire your reaction to your neighbour’s action (or lack of), its really nice of you to give her the benefit of the doubt. as you said, it is very possible the the language barrier made her fear of interaction, plus fear of cultural differences that might lead to embarrassment.

@aafke – I have also since found that even away from a hospital setting, Texans remain incredibly hospitable.

And yeah… I really can’t imagine being so private about something. In my family, eeeeveryone knows everything about, well, everyone. I can’t even think about not telling them if I was sick or something.

I remember my husband’s father retired and his mother didn’t tell him which was a bit weird. In my circle of friends/family it would’ve been shouted from the rooftops (“Woohoo, I’m free!”) but apparently not in Saudi.

It must turn out to be so dangerous for people who may be suffering from illness (like the woman in your post) because in such a society, how is she/he going to know that they need to see even a doctor? I’m assuming symptoms wouldn’t be discussed either which is even worse.

It was really quite an experience, and I am looking forward to returning to Texas!