Now that the topic has caught your attention, let me go directly to the point! You, my readers, are what keep me and this blog going on a daily basis. Therefore to ensure that I continue to write articles which are of interest to you, I am reaching out to all of you for your input. What subjects have I not yet covered that you would like to know about? What subjects have I covered but perhaps not enough and you’d like to know more? Of course the subjects must be related to Saudi Arabia but they can be either from an aspect of inside Saudi Arabia or even perceptions from the outside or from that of Saudis who are outside of the Kingdom.
Secondly, I like to provide you with two interviews each month. These interviews are with both Saudis and non-Saudis alike. If you wish to volunteer yourself to be interviewed, please email me directly at admin@americanbedu.com along with a brief paragraph about yourself and background. If you are a non-Saudi, naturally I need to know if you are in Saudi Arabia, have ever been to Saudi Arabia or simply have an interest in Saudi Arabia. If you are Saudi, then I need to know if you are in or outside of Saudi Arabia. This information assists me in preparing appropriate interview questions. And of course interviews are posted as directed by the individual such as whether they wish to remain anonymous or not.
Lastly, I always welcome constructive criticism about this blog. What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? How can I continue to make it better? Is posting daily a good thing or is that overdoing it in your view and why?
So if you have been a blurker, now is your time to speak out! I look forward to hearing from all of you.
And, I also sincerely thank everyone for following my blog in the first place.
American Bedu
Filed under: culture, Economy, Entertainment, Freedoms, friendship, gender, Health, Hobbies, Interview, islam, politics, relationships, religion, safety, Saudi Arabia, Saudi blogs, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, Saudi Living, shopping, terrorism, travel, Uncategorized, women driving, Women Issues Tagged: | blogging, culture, culture shock, customs, gender, gender issues, heritage, islam, KSA, marriage, Relationship, religion, Riyadh, romance, Saudi, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, travel, women
I really enjoy your posts, although some readers here take things too seriously when you have your ‘tongue in cheek’ columns. Personally, I’d like you to write more on interesting places to visit in KSA as expats. I’d also like to read about young Saudi men and women who are not so accepting of ‘western’ change in the country and why they feel the way they do.
What subjects have I not yet covered that you would like to know about?
I would like to know more about interpersonal dynamics and some of the cross-cultural challenges, like what constitutes privacy in Saudi and American culture and how it can be negotiated cross-culturally, what constitutes respect for family and how this can lead to cross cultural misunderstandings or not, how friendship is defined and how that can be interpreted cross culturally, etc.
What subjects have I covered but perhaps not enough and you’d like to know more?
How are expatriated Saudis considered by those who remain in Saudi. What are the challenges for them on return: for vacation, for short term work, for definitive reintegration?
What am I doing right?
You continue to provide reliably interesting topics, a variety of subjects, and different modalities (overview, specific topic, interview format, quizzes, Arabic lessons). You are no doubt intelligent, creative, knowledgeable, conscientious, and have excellent interpersonal skills, all of which are reflected on the blog. Your openness to suggestions, such as this post, is welcomed.
What am I doing wrong?
I think your life events of the last while have made it harder for you to adequately monitor the tone of the comments, and to redirect the discussion.
How can I continue to make it better?
As you have done in the past, it might be useful to have a discreet and neutral blog moderator on standby for when your availability is unexpectedly compromised.
Your ongoing search for interviewees, and experimenting with interactive posts (like the Imagination one) are good elements to continue.
While I appreciate it might take a rather major effort trying to structure the Debate page so that it has some order and it is easier to know when a “debate” starts and ends and on what topic doing so would help make that a more useful and attractive forum.
Collecting the Arabic lessons posts in one rubric (with its own tab) would help us have an easy to find “data base”.
Is posting daily a good thing or is that overdoing it in your view and why?
I enjoy the daily postings, but I think in the last months the quality of the post topics and their execution has declined (from your reliable A to an A+ to an A- or rarely a B+). Some topics have been inadvertently, I’m sure, needlessly offensive to too many, and sometimes the links or illustrations do not match the seeming intended direction of the post. As an example, while I understand the unpleasantness of watching the film Fitna, including it in the post when you yourself hadn’t seen it compromised the quality of the post, and perhaps even the discussion. Spending more time on a more carefully thought through topic and post, and posting on a regular basis, but every 2nd or 3rd day, would be better. Perhaps in the near future it will be easier to return to your previous quality of postings on a daily basis.
PS If it is not sufficiently obvious, I hold both you and this blog in very high esteem, which is why I chose on this occasion to respond as soon as I completed my comment, and with sufficient length to make my meanings clear. Long may you blog!!!
I think you are doing a great one woman show here, I wouldn’t suggest anything except keep up your good informative research on KSA…
I enjoy your blog and am glad you have new posts regularly. Some interest me a lot while others not so much, but that’s why it’s great you post often. I just keep coming back and often find interesting discussions and information.
Thank you for putting up with all kinds of comments. You let people speak freely for the most part, and I think adults can monitor themselves just fine. Or they should.
I appreciate all your hard work in making this an interesting place to visit and an area where we can interact with others around the world.
Susanne–the operative word being “should”.
I have been reading your blog for a couple months but never posted anything, so I suppose now is the time to speak up. I really like that you post every day and I am almost always interested in the topics. You do a very good job of covering different types of issues and even with the heavy topics you manage to use some humor. Thanks so much for sharing your point of view with all of us.
many like me are perplexed with the question you have posed!
we read whatever you write. your writing is interesting, your topic is interesting. without seeing not even 1% of my country, i know something about saudi.
thats because of you, Carol
i would ever be an ardent reader of your blog
I would be interested in knowing what subject matters they study in Saudi schools. What sort of education they feel is pertinent to the youth of Saudi. What information they leave in (basic education standards) and what they choose to leave out (sex education Im guessing?)
Is there anyway you can check into that Carol?
I do remember reading that the US govt was protesting over some material that was being taught to Saudi children…but that was some time back (years) so wondered if anything came of it.
Other than that I think your eclectic mix of topics is perfectly suits your blog. Occasional humor mixed with an interview now and then and a serious subject thrown into the mix just to keep it interesting. Cant ask for more than that.
Susanne…I think most of the time comments are quite fine…even those that are striving to make a point keep it above board for cases…every now and then however…you get the feeling someone is hitting their keyboard just a little TOO hard when typing out their latest comment
Carol your blog is awesome and I think that the topics you come up with are great. We really are here to go on the journey you want to take us on.
Your blog is informative, creative, easy to navigate through and just fun to read.
The only thing that can be off putting is the comments and those people who over comment. It annoys me that they feel the need to take over the comments section and often needs to respond to your readers on your behalf. But I’m sure there’s nothing you can do about that.
As a daily reader I appreciate your effort to always have new posts up here and also as a reader I know if there is something I want to know about I can approach you.
Long live American Bedu, it’s my company with my morning coffee
As someone who lists cooking amongst his interests, I would like to see more Saudi recipes!
“But you’re Saudi!” some would say. The thing I like about Saudi cuisine is how broad reaching it is. I’m not very familiar, for instance, with Najdi cooking.
Carol, I love your blog very much.
You cover a variety of topics in our blogs and it is always nice to see a new one each day. One suggestion I have is maybe there should be a page here or tab with a glossary and a brief history of Kingdom. For the most part, the bloggers on this site have either lived in or around Saudi (or have studied the Middle East) then some visitors who might bel ost.
Hmmmm…..topics…Some serious, such as women’s right of free movement to something creative such as an interview with a famous Saudi fashion designer.
Carol, your blog is an “A” for sure…..Keep up the good work!
Oh, I have got maybe a good topic, opening more tourism in the Kingdom. Would that fly? I know Jedda and I think Taif are often sought after places. Another, Islamic art topic?
Just other ideas (don’t want to take up your blog)
Dear Carol,
i find your blog very helpfull, interesting and informative..i think, more interviews is very nice idee cos i personally do enjoy them most of all..i also would like to get to know more about lifestyle of ppl who r in their student age..i want to know what do they do in their life except visiting college..i have heard only about shopping and leisuze acivities like watching tv or just visiting friends..how simillar is their life to young ppl in us and europe..do they combine their education with work? is their some sort of dance classes or swimming classes language shools etc . if yes how commom is it? it is also interesting how different is old generation of saudi ppl to younger one?
I enjoy your blog and think you’re doing a great job. The ideas that many people have about Saudi are so narrow and distorted that it’s beneficial simply to show that there are regular people who live their lives, go to school, work, raise their children, enjoy themselves, have normal problems, etc.
I didn’t have anything to suggest for topics, but I’ll second the idea for recipes and also for giving a voice to the Saudis who are more conservative and don’t want to be “Westernized”. And actually, there are plenty of Western Muslims living in Saudi who also feel that way.
Oh, I meant to also say that I don’t think you should feel obligated to post every day.
“every now and then however…you get the feeling someone is hitting their keyboard just a little TOO hard when typing out their latest comment
”
Coolred, WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN!?!?!?! HOW DARE YOU CHALLENGE ME!!
Yes, I understand what you mean.
Hi Carol,I love this blog to bits,it helped me in so many ways.One think i would love to understand is why do saudi women cut in the ques when they see a non saudi women.Would really love to know.Thank you Carol.
‘simply to show that there are regular people who live their lives, go to school, work, raise their children, enjoy themselves, have normal problems, etc.’
I second that. Sometimes people always tie our problems with being Saudi, living in Saudi, & things like that. I would be nice if people were able to see that isn’t always the case. In my opinion, when people get carried away and blame Saudi for there being ill treated women, it discourages many Saudi females that may be going through hardships to stay quiet and not reach for help. Why? because even the abused know there are people who care, and there are people who have no clue about their problems and just care bout the fact they are Saudi(don’t mean to step on your toes Oprah, or the lovely camera man who was focusing on a lady wearing the over-the-head abaya, completely covered. You got to hand it to him, it must’ve been hard to do that at ALRASHID MALL .) sorry, about the Oprah thing. I just had to get it out of my system, in behalf of myself, my schoolmates, my cousins, most of my neighbourhood.
To be honest, I love your blog. it makes me feel cozy sometimes.
I really enjoy this blog. It’s the first thing I look at in the morning while having my coffee. Because I have relatives in Saudi and want desperately to visit them (although getting a Visa is no easy task) I soak in every word that is written so that I will have as much knowledge of the country and lifestyle before I arrive.
I have asked my husband and few questions and then said I should ask you but of course they are floating around in air right now but I will email you when I remember them.
Thanks for all your work!
Munaqabah and Daifuku–Agreed! Indeed! An example of why it is so important to show normal Saudi life, and how what transpires is more universal than always “Saudi”:
Oprah, Please Don’t Call Me Again
Essam Al-Ghalib, Arab News
http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1§ion=0&article=66540&d=7&m=7&y=2005
Susanne–LIKE WOW, @#$%^& !* AWESOME COMMENT!!! DID I SAY @#$%^&!*? YEAH, I DID, AND I’M PROUD!!!! LOL
I think your blog is great. I dont know how you keep it up.
Anyway, I guess I’ll ask a tough one. I read about illegal immigrants living in public places, like road underpasses in Saudi. How about an interview with one of these people?
These sorts are ignored far too much. I know it’s a stretch, but it would be very interesting.
I like your blog Carol. I do not read it daily BUT think daily posts can be good for those who do. I really would not change much. I would love to learn more about distinctions between culture and Islam and how Saudi’s deal with it.
I would like to know more about Asian expats and how they are handling the life there.
Good job.
anthrogeek10
I was thinking earlier that a bonafide Saudi Sharia judge would make an awesome interviewee. Its always interesting the try and understand how some of them come to their decisions considering there really is not concrete code of laws to follow…its all based on a particular judges understanding of Sharia etc.
That would be interesting.
Now how to go about getting one to agree to it?
Hi Ms. Bedu and readers,
I like the ideas that have come out of this post.
I love the comparing and contrasting cultures. Oddly, I love having my stereotypes upended specially when I didn’t even know that I had stereotypes.
Could you find a Saudi Man married to a westerner to interview? Your own husband probably would not be too objective but perhaps Susie of Arabia’s husband or someone like that. It would also be interesting to hear from a man that has been married to both a Saudi woman and a Western woman. I found the recent interview with the Saudi woman married to a westerner interesting specially as she had previously wed a Saudi.
Also, Dr. Quanta Ahmed (Can’t exactly remember her name) in her book mentioned a fledgling organization that worked with child abuse. I would like to know what is going on there.
I am curious if Saudis assume that families as important in the US as they are in Saudi Arabia.
Do Saudis assume that anything like a tribal system exists in the West?
Love your blog!
I would like to see interviews with women who consent to being 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives. I want to know how they can deal with sharing a partner/husband. Aren’t they miserable?
I’d also like to see interviews with conservative clerics explaining their logic of why women should be segregated in schools, should be required to stay covered in abayas and veils, can not vote, can not travel.
Thanks!
I just remember that the first most captivating post I read here was the “26 houseguests” one. Let’s just say I can relate to the differences between Western or North American and Arab hospitality.
As one bicultural (US-Morocco) American friend said, “Both cultures are hospitable. In the US it’s ‘Welcome, there’s the fridge help yourself’; and in Morocco it’s ‘Sit, we will do everything for you’”.
Since this has caused friction for many a mixed couple, house guest, host, more on the topic of how hospitatility is expressed would be great!
@Annie,
I believe Carol has done at least one Saudi male married to a Westerner. I am not sure she mentioned what name he goes by here when he posts, but I am sure she did one.
@Carol,
Another idea. How about the issue of special needs children in Saudi? You could interview someone with a special needs child in Saudi or someone at a place that deals with them. Nzingha would be a good go to person about that.
Abu Sinan–I second the resources (or lack thereof) for special needs children idea, and Nzingha as a resource (an interviewee perhaps?). The expectations placed on family, and by family would be an aspect of that topic that would be interesting.
Interview with a real muttawa member…
Oh..this goes twd my thesis but how about a woman married to a Saudi and discuss how her identity has been shaped by the experiences there.
anthrogeek10
Daifuku, what got me about the Oprah incident was that at the end of the Saudi segment, she said something like thank God she lives in America.
Oprah forgot to mention that in her America, she was sent back and forth to live with different family members and was sexually abused by a cousin at the age of nine, then later was the victim of ongoing sexual abuse from someone close to the family. As a result, she got pregnant at 14 and delivered a baby who died soon after birth.
Munaqabah I have a question. What would happen to a young Saudi girl who got pregnant out of wedlock even though it was incest or rape??
@Miriam Mac – thank you for your feedback. I would also be interesting in interviewing youth and their views of the future. If anyone can help put me in touch with anyone willing to speak to me?
@Chiara – thank you for the substantive feedback.
“How are expatriated Saudis considered by those who remain in Saudi. What are the challenges for them on return: for vacation, for short term work, for definitive reintegration?”
Do you mean Saudis who have been studying or working out of the Kingdom and return to stay?
@Cool Red – thank you very much. I will do research on the subjects studies and see if I can put together a comprehensive post on the topic.
I greatly appreciate all the feedback and although I’ve not finished reading all the comments yet, thus fair it seems like the majority do enjoy the daily posts. I will do my best to continue them and to have them as substantive as possible given just my current roller coaster life right now!
@Saudi Jawa:
“As someone who lists cooking amongst his interests, I would like to see more Saudi recipes!”
Stay tuned…inshallallah, you will not be disappointed!
@Jacee – thank you. I routinely do one or two posts per month about different places in Saudi for one to visit and explore.
I would also welcome readers from various places in Saudi to come forward and allow me to interview them for an “insiders view” of their city or village.
@Irina – I have written some posts about Saudi students and their lifestyle and can easily continue on this subject addressing some of your specific queries.
@gugu – I am so happy to hear that my blog has helped you. I also wrote earlier about Saudis tendencies not to wait in lines and cut in and happy to add more on the topic…especially since it happens so often!
@Abu Sinan – I’m not in Saudi at the moment but when I return, I will see what I can do. That might be a tough one as an obviously western woman trying to speak to one of these individuals but let’s see….
@coolred – (sigh)….I had a judge at one point agree to be interviewed but then before it happened, he changed his mind. ): However I am not shy about persevering and trying again….
@Annie – If you do a search on interviews you will find that I have interviewed Saudi men married to both Saudis and non-Saudis before. I am always happy to interview others so we all continue to get a broader understanding and perspective.
@Jerry – Those are interesting topics and give much to write about. Stay tuned! and Thank you!!
@Abu Sinan – thanks for the suggestion on interview a parent with a special needs child. Nzingha – you game?
but if I try to interview a muttawa, won’t I need to have witnesses and be totally covered up? (smile)
Joking aside, it would be interesting….now finding one who would be willing to speak with me….
@Anthrogeek,
I do believe that the women who marry Saudis and basically give up all to go to Saudi Arabia with their husband are changed in so many ways and especially in order to adapt and survive in the new culture. Yep…..I can dig right into this topic and write.
@Betty,
Thank you for the suggestions.
I want to sincerely thank everyone for their comments, their recommendations and suggestions.
I do appreciate all the input that I have received and what can I say…I’m greedy and hope to hear from more of you too!
On Tue, Jun 23, 2009 at 3:21 AM, Carol Fleming wrote: > @Betty, > > Thank you for the suggestions. > > On Tue, Jun 23, 2009 at 2:06 AM,
American Bedu–by “Saudi expat” I mean any one of the following:
1) a Saudi who has chosen to make his/her life elsewhere permanently (whether after study abroad, or a work contract, or marriage) and who goes to Saudi for vacations/family visits only
2) a Saudi who spends a considerable time away, eg. longer studies (5-10 years) or works away longer term (again 5-10 years minimum) and then moves back permanently
3) a Saudi who is no longer based there, but returns for a 1-2 year work contract, or stay to take care of family affairs
4) and now that I think of it “born and raised elsewhere” Saudis who immigrate to Saudi as adolescents (with family) or as adults (on their own)–a number of these have asked for advice on different posts here (hopefully they have succeeded, or some would make good interviewees regarding their trials and tribulations, and motivations), and there is of course Susie’s son, who might be willing to be interviewed with her husband, or separately, identified or not–I know for a fact he is not the only teen to immigrate to Saudi after being born and raised elsewhere so he wouldn’t necessarily be identifiable if he chose not to be.
I wonder what the experience is like for each of these categories of expats, and how Saudi-based Saudis view them. Based on the experiences of non-Saudis, expats are often received with a mixture of joy and envy, a feeling they have “gone native” wherever they were, need to be looked after/re-taught their culture, are “stealing jobs” others have suffered more greatly for, etc. Their language skills may be “quaint”, and their comfort zone narrowed.
Thanks for the kind comment above, and the chance to elaborate..
PS Just to keep it all in the family, maybe Coolred’s children would like to share anonymously or not what is has been like to be to the US for part of their education and to return.
Carol, I know I’m late to comment on this one but later better than never ^_^
You’re doing a fantastic job! I try to read as many blogs as possible but I didn’t enjoy any of them as much I enjoy yours. Keep up the great work!
You previously posted a list of possible topics to talk about when having a conversation with a Saudi woman ..I suggest you write a similar list about topics to talk about when trying to have a conversation with Americans in general..Such post would be helpful for all Saudis who just moved to the US and are trying to socialize with the locals..I don’t know if you’ve already done that ..
@Chiara – thank you for the editification.
@Houstonian – many thanks for the great suggestion. That will be a fun post to write!
Hi American Bedu
I have not commented before, but you have made a special request for the ‘blurkers’ to come out of the shadows and make a contribution! I really do enjoy your blog, and admire you immensely for posting every day; many of the topics are really interesting – as are the comments.
If it does not sound too boring for a topic I have a question about economics and mosques!. In the UK and America, Churches are financed by their members and regular attendees. Buildings need to be maintained, bills paid, Clergy paid (or at least their expenses covered if their position is non stipendiary), funds need to be allocated to chosen charities and so on. Anyone who has sat on a stewardship committee knows the feeling of trepidation each year when new pledges are requested and many of the Clergy dread the annual sermon on the importance of giving. The outcome of this is that the members – to some extent – are in control of the direction of the church. How are the mosques in Saudi funded? Is it by the members of an individual mosque, or is it by some form of patronage or government funding.
i have just found your blog and have not read too much but i am very interested in the politics of the country, who are the power players, who are the leaders and billionaires behind tehe scenes
@Lucy – First of all, thank you so much for coming out of lurking. You raise an interesting question and topic which I will be happy to post about in a forthcoming post!
@Ian – thank you for your comment. Given Saudi Arabia is a monarchy, the short answer is that the Royal Family are the power players and leaders.
Hi American Bedu – I am coming out of lurking too but I read your blog often. I live in the US and have no Saudi connections whatsoever, but I found myself over here through a link at a women’s pop culture blog and have been reading ever since. Have you done a post on baby naming in KSA? (Forgive me if I haven’t searched the archives well enough.) I wonder about things such as: what are the most popular names for girls and boys? Does the government mandate what names are acceptable? Are there any naming rules such as whom babies are or are not traditionally named after? And also, as I’m not familiar with Arabic, what if a mixed western/Saudi couple wants to give a “trendy” name that has no equivalent in Arabic…would the child have problems actually writing their name or would this simply not happen in the first place? I obviously don’t expect you to answer ALL these questions but it would be an interesting subject to get your take on!
As far as what you’ve already covered, I especially love the food posts, stories from your mother-in-law, and travel posts. Oh and those pictures of the Haroof Nejdi…I’m sorry, but they made me laugh out loud. What a beautiful but strange looking animal.
Thanks for all the posts!
@DJ – thank you so much for coming out of lurking and give me more valuable feedback!
I love your idea for a post so please stay tuned.
And I want to thank each and everyone for all of their feedback and comments. I’ve been given so many interesting and distinctive topics to write about. I’m going to be kept pretty busy but certainly having fun at the same time.
But don’t think this is finished…. I want to hear from more of you too!!
hi,
Your blogs have been awesome. About Saudi arabia, i as an Indian christain has poor opinion or perception because mostly we feel its charities only help to 1.promote fundemntalist wahabism in India amongst Indian Muslims
2.Promotes hatred of Israel amongst Muslims of the world which includes Indian Muslims in the guise of MUSLIM UMMA. It is Palestenians who should be bothered about Israeli occupation.
Thanks Carol. for you regular blogging keeps us informed and entertained. I think a couple of ‘humorous’ blogs will round off the eclectic mix of subjects that you have dwelled upon in the past.
Blog on!!
@Rasputin – many thanks and stay tuned!!