Comments on: What Saudi women can and cannot do

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:53:53 +0000

@Mrs Miggins – I think it is becoming a growing concern that men and women are choosing to practice shariah law as well as tribal or cultural customs when coming to a new country where the laws are different. This causes conflict and challenges. I agree that in some cases it also diminishes the rights of women.

By: Mrs Miggins

Mrs Miggins — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 15:38:01 +0000

In my country (UK), women by law have equal rights to men. We have had the vote 100 years almost exactly….not really very long in the grand scheme of history.
I see it’s a long time since the original group of Women who posted here have commented, but I would like to know if they think it is worrying that more & more Muslim women in the UK (especially London) wear veils with only their eyes showing. Is this a public sign that they are following (foreign) cultural laws that mean they are not treated with equal rights? Female circumcision and ‘honour’ killings also happen here too. Although the victims are aided, even relocated under protective new identities, there is rarely prosecution for the perpetrators. I worry that we are letting our sisters down here by not enforcing the law for them. Surely the customs of other countries should not supersede the law here?

By: Sandy

Sandy — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 20:14:55 +0000

In Saudi most women can’t afford a driver so people mostly stay home. No going to Quran class, after-school activities or the library, or anywhere.

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 17:41:51 +0000

I enjoyed the opportunity while in KSA that I did not have to drive. It was a blessing to be dropped and picked up right at the door! Although I can also relate well just to the feeling of frustration of not having the choice of being able to do so or not!

By: Shazia

Shazia — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 16:28:12 +0000

I think its WONDERFUL women don’t drive in Saudi. They are one lucky bunch and very smart to let others take over the driving part!

As the mother of three kids and a husband who travels constantly, I have had it with driving
everyone to school, from school, to quran classes, from quran classes, to library, from library to airports, from airports, to after-school activities, from after-school activities…that’s gender equality in US!

By: OnigiriFB

OnigiriFB — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 23:46:28 +0000

@Saudi Muslim,

I am happy that you are satisfied with your life and the laws and rules you have to abide by. I only you that you realize there a women not as fortunate as you and wants something different.. Maybe their “ministers” are not so nice as yours.

Remember that if you are Queen then the “ministers” may give advise but the Queen is ultimately the one who makes the decisions. Can you say the same for your mahrem? Are you the one in charge or is he? If your desires do not match what he wants what happens? True ministers of a Queen must obey her not the other way around.

Also please don’t look down on those who work in “low” places and “low” people. Those people are working so that they may make money to live and it is their money to use as they see fit. Hard work is never to be looked down upon and the feeling of accomplishment and the feeling you have knowing you earned your own money is precious. These women don’t have to share what she has earned unless she wants to. You may live a life where you will never have to work but I hope you realize that you are blessed. There are many Saudi who do have to work or others go hungry. I’m sure there are some who wish they could work in “low” places so that they or their families can eat.

True Queens wear bikinis if they choose to. The drive if they choose to. They make decisions when they choose to and it is other people who must follow her command. They are protected but not just by her family but also by laws and her government.

In my country we teach men that while you may look you may not harass or rape or threaten no matter what a women chooses to wear. Can you say that about the men in Saudi Arabia? Your religion teaches men to lower their gazes but do they do that? Why don’t men respect you unless you hide underneath yards of black cloth? Have you ever been harassed even when you are wearing your abaya? Why do you think that is? In my country we don’t feel like we have to hide ourselves because our men understand that we are protected by law against harassment. Should they break that law they are punished. Are they punished in your country if a woman is raped? Or are the victims like the girl who was sentenced to lashes when she was the one wronged? In my country the victim isn’t punished the rapist is.

So while you may think you are a princess or a queen remember there are women out there who true princesses or queens. Those true queens don’t have to obey others but others have to obey her. I would rather be a “low” person in my country than to be a princess in yours. I have the freedom to choose what I’d like, wear what I’d like and do what I’d like. It might seem like a we deserve your pity but at least we don’t have to live in a gilded cage.

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 19:06:30 +0000

@Saudi Muslim,

You state that you have the right to do everything you want without any restrictions. However I believe that is as long as your mahrem will agree and allow you. If you have such a mahrem, bravo. Not every Saudi woman will be in the same situation.

By: saudi muslim

saudi muslim — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 13:03:33 +0000

I could not read every thing written here but as a saudi lady I might contribute in this topic just to declare that we are so happy with our religon’s laws and we feel just like prinses here, we are protected from everything which may harm us even men’s looks ,
we are protected from low standered people and jobs.
we have all the right to do everything we want with no restriction, having a male superviser is just like when the queens of any europian country has a minister or a king, she never deside alone , she never drive her car alone infront of the puplic, we are covered because I have never seen queens waring bikini infront of the cameras. we are very sure that american ladies dream to be just like us but no hope . they work in pertol, in constructions, in sanitation, in every where where they lose day by day their spirits .

WE ARE NO THING BUT QUEENS

By: Ben Shettah

Ben Shettah — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:13:41 +0000

As an American man who’s lived in Morocco for over 8 years and speaks Arabic, I have to comment.

Watching Morocco westernize dramatically in the last 10 years has been a mixed bag. It’s great to see positive steps for women – much more equality and independence has been granted. We cheered when King Mohammed VI gave a religious ruling that effectively gave women equality in marriage (they can file for divorce or fair treatment with other wives)

The down side is a loss of uniqueness. Morocco once prided itself on cultural tourism but once there’s a McDonalds in every city and women dress like Europeans, one wonders what things will remain unique in Morocco after another generation.

On the gun / sex topic, every culture has it’s “flaunt” and “taboo” issues. America has very few taboo subjects anymore and most of them have turned to “flaunt”. I don’t think that’s healthy for a society. i don’t think Saudi’s stark taboos and sexual segregation are healthy either. There’s got to be a balance somewhere. Who can find it?

I think birth rates will determine the ultimate answer in some ways as conservative “family oriented” Muslim cultures have much higher birth rates than permissive “anything goes” western cultures where child-bearing is a nuisance and kids are a limit to “personal freedom”. These western cultures are literally going to die out if they don’t pass on a better set of family values.

That makes Muslim women and families much more important demographically. I’m all for more rights for Muslim women. I do hope Muslim society can do so without losing their moral moorings as most western societies have and keep many of the special cultural ideas that make them unique and fun to experience – as an insider, not just an outsider.

BTW my family is considering moving to Jeddah this fall. Thanks for sharing your insights and thoughts.

By: American Bedu

American Bedu — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:28:45 +0000

Khadija – you may wish to read this post which I had written earlier that responds to many of your questions:

http://americanbedu.com/2009/02/22/rights-of-an-american-saudi-wife-in-saudi-arabia/