On 11 October the Saudi schools finally opened for the new school year. The start of school was 
delayed this year due to Ramadan followed by the Eid holidays at the beginning of October. The children who attend the Saudi government run schools enjoyed an extra long summer break. But anywhere the world over with going back to school or perhaps starting school for the first time, this can initially be a traumatic experience for some children, particularly the first-timers entering kindergarten or first grade.
Like in most places in Saudi Arabia, the schools can be segregated as well with the young boys among themselves with male teachers and the young girls among themselves with female teachers. Now if a little girl is insecure on starting school and the family has a housemaid, the housemaid (or perhaps the mother) may accompany her to school until she adjusts to being in a new place among new people. The housemaid will sit in the back of the room with other housemaids providing a familiar presence each time the young girl turns around.
But what happens for the young boy who also feels insecure about starting a new and unknown venture like school? A female housemaid can not come in and sit in the back of his classroom. Guess what – the Dads (or sometimes retired Grandfathers) will do it. I learned that when my own Saudi brother-in-law’s son started school, his young son was nervous about being left alone with strange people all day. So my brother-in-law arranged to take a few days off from work to get his son settled in to school. He does not regret it. He found other Dads were there as well and while their sons were adjusting to a school routine and making new friends, the Dads got acquainted as well. They sipped their tea and chatted quietly amongst themselves while sitting in the back of the room. It seemed that the reassuring presence of the Dads talking together also reassured the boys that school was “not so bad and fearful” after all. And eventually the sons adapted and the Dads no longer needed to stay at the school with their sons but they left with new bonds and friends of their own.
Filed under: Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, relationships, travel
I can remember the first week at school. It was fun, they stuffed us with chocolate and fruit juice. Fortunately, I did not need anyone to accompany me because my father was the headmaster of school
Yes it is quite convenient for the child to be accompanied by a relative.
I think it is also an important stage of life because most children build their personality and confidence at it.
Thanks Carol
Ive never liked the fact that many moms and dads here feel they can intrude in such a way during school. My friend works in a govt school and its a daily occurence for parents to just barge in and demand instant attention…while that is different then sitting in the back of the class for your first grader…it sort of sets the scene for future school going…whenever you need mommy or daddy they are gonna be right theere….remove the pacifier people and let your kid get on with it. Hard enough for teachers to control classes these days without a parent sitting in the back ready to take offense.
If one were to compare between parents and interaction in KSA and USA in this regards I do believe the Saudi parents take more initiative and interaction. Some of this may be due to the fact that fewer Saudi women work as compared to the US where the majority of married women must work.
I so enjoyed when my brother-in-law shared his experience as you could tell it was a bonding time not only for him and his young son but also with the other Dad’s.
Sweet! Now this is a good example of ”Good Parenting” How nice to give the children such a set-off in the first few school days.
I agree Aafke!
Please, pardon my ignorance Carol, are there any kindergartens in KSA for males exclusively? Perhaps, you are referring to primary schools? All the kindergartens I know are a part of girl schools. Can youbelieve it, I don’t know a single male teacher who teaches in kindergartens. I’m learning new things
. As aside note, 2 years ago my older bro happened to see one of his female classmates in the kg 
that was after 25 years — now both are married 
. My bro studied KG in KSA BTW 
Here in the US we looked for a school that would do exactly this and could not find a single one. They all said it would be too disruptive. I think this is great.
My husband did not stay with my son and the poor thing was suffering symptoms of child abuse by the beginning of Grade 2. The teachers told me that even though my son wasn’t being hurt himself, he was being terrified by watching his fellow students hit on their hands with rulers, held up by their necks against the wall etc. There were other fathers who complained as well. His first, second, and third grade teachers were all fired for abusive behavior. I don’t hear so many of these kinds of stories these days. I think that the schools put the kabash on brutality…but as I don’t have any little ones in the school system now, I don’t know for sure. One can only hope. There was one of the big boys who was picking on my son on a daily basis also. So, I taught him to think of himself like a fire ant….and the next time he was picked on, I told him to make sure the other kid got hurt as well (bite, kick, punch, scratch…whatever he could do back at him!). He came home a bit roughed up a few days later…but smiling. He told me that the kid threw him off the swing and he came swinging back at him. The teacher yelled at both of them, but NO ONE ever picked on my son again after that. It was unfortunate…but necessary to teach him how to protect himself. Luckily, my daughter never suffered with any of that in her school.
Khalid, my nephew is attending a KG in Jeddah which is all male.
Wow, Miriam – what an experience! Was that in Jeddah?
I have seen a lot myself. I myself got indulged in one of these I-hate-dislike-school by my niece. However,the solution is not to accompany them to school!!
When my niece started her not-to-go-to-school-siren, I went to her school an hour after she left. I had a talk with her teacher about her condition especially that my niece has complained about the teacher shouting and swearing!!
Everything went OK and the problems got solved. However, the view of moms at the back of the class or walking in the halls with their kids was uncomfortable. The teacher herself wasn’t at ease and told me that she can’t function like she should be when moms are around for their won’t be classroom management whatsoever!!
I know parents get fed up with their kids not wanting to go to school but the answer is not to accompany them and make a big fuss to the teachers and the kids who are there yearning for their parents.
A good parent can convince her or his child to go to school witht eh easiest solutions. Stickers, the cheapest stuff ever can do wonders.
I like the idea that for the first week the Dad’s (or the mom’s) can go and sit in the back of a class offering a reassuring presence when a child begins either KG or 1st grade. However the parents who do choose to do this should remain orderly and make no effort to distract the class or the teacher in any way..
I think a week is a bit too much and I don’t think maids should be allowed to go into the class at all. A proper nanny yes, a maid no. The majority of maids simply go to gossip w/ other maids that are there. I would see them more as a disruption than anything.. and a parent should be forced to do this if this is what their child is in need of.
But a week.. the first day or so ok.. but a week seems too long to me. I’m a more of a drop your kids and run kind of mom. I don’t think sitting there does anything but makes things go on longer. The children generally adjust and as long as you are there at the end of the day all seems fine. Of course I start my kids off in preschools before KG and they are used to it.
From my talks with various teachers they tend to think dropping them and letting them cry a bit is better than to open the class up to parents presence because eventually the parent isn’t going to be there and they’ll be dropped off and they’ll cry and they’ll get over it.
I agree that a presence is better to be a parent rather than a maid. I’d have no problem with it being understood and sanctioned that the first week a parent may be present if it is felt needed but like you pointed out Nzingha, hopefully a full week would not be necessary.
I realize I was very fortunate in that when my son started KG and first grade so many years ago he was so excited and thankfully had no adjustment or separation issues. I think a lot of it helped by having him in play groups prior to starting KG whereas it seems that by comparison a lot of young Saudi children mainly have interactions within the related family where there may or may not be children near the same age.
Interesting! Carol, I didn’t know this before. I think that it’s rare, perhaps not! Who knows ! I know that some kids don’t go to KG; they directly start primary school…
I do not know either if it is rare or not, Khalid!
I think this is a great idea!
Paloma (an Elementary teacher in the Middle East)
Thanks Paloma! We’d love to also hear more of your experiences as a teacher if you care to share!