While one should never specifically stereotype nor try to lump all individuals into one big box, a popular question and search term leading readers to my blog is, what is a typical Saudi woman? I will certainly try and respond here with my candid views but will also rely on readers who are Saudi women or have regular contact with Saudi women to share their views too.
Now with an emphasis on TYPICAL and taking Saudi Arabia as a whole, this is what I believe as the general characterization of a Saudi woman. Her only language will be Arabic. She will have been raised to be a faithful and devoted daughter, sister, mother, Aunt and wife. She would unlikely question the decisions or choices of those whom she respects and trusts such as a Father, Grandfather, Brother or Husband. She will be devoted to her faith and therefore present herself in a manner which she believes is appropriate such as wearing the abbaya with hijjab and full niqab when out in public. Among the family who see her without an abaya she will continue to dress modestly in either a traditional Saudi thobe or loose fitting attractive clothes and normally preferring to wear long sleeve shirts. Among her family she may or may not choose to continue to wear her hijjab to cover her hair. Segregation will be a way of life in which she has been raised and she will feel most comfortable socially in women-only gatherings. While she may have some outside friends who are not related to her most of her interaction will be with family members. Her primary interests will evolve around her family. She will likely enjoy presenting a tranquil and comfortable home for her family. Depending on the level of conservativeness of her family she may enjoy watching the Arabic televsion programs to include the dramas and comedies as well as enjoying the arabic music channels. The news may not be of interest to her. She may dress modestly but will have a keen interest in what are the latest fashions and styles. She probably will not be an avid reader or very active on the internet. She likely enjoy using the internet most for chatting via MSN with family members. She will likely not work outside of the home or perhaps only work until marriage. And if she works, you would probably find her working in a woman’s bank or school. She will probably not be widely traveled and never consider traveling unaccompanied by herself.
With the above being said there are always so many exceptions. There will be the Saudi women who may be more independent and outspoken than any Westerner. They will be savvy businesswomen, well-traveled and often times might travel alone both within and outside the Kingdom. They will respect and trust their Father, Grandfather, Brother or Husband but will also not be shy to speak their views or voice disagreement. Her choices of dress may vary for the occasions. She will be comfortable in traditional settings of all women but also be at ease in a mixed function as well. She may be bi-lingual. Arabic is her native language but she may also speak English or French very well if not other languages too. She will be univeristy educated and may strive for higher degrees too. These women will be found in many professions in business, universities, banks, hospitals and government offices.
So which group of women are the real Saudi women? Actually they both are. But which one does the media portray most and write about most? Yes, you got it.. the first one saying she is still living in the dark ages and some may go so far as to refer to her as chattel or being a puppet without a mind or spirit of her own. Yet you can find these two distinct groups of women in any country and of all nationalities. Sure, it may be more extreme and more noticeable in Saudi Arabia than America or Australia for example.
Concurrently it also seems that when articles appear about Saudi women, either they are too extreme or too progressive. There’s nothing wrong with a Saudi woman who has chosen to be a strong activist and advocate for greater freedoms in the Kingdom but again, I at least think the media builds up these indivdiuals and stories too much, again creating overreaction and misperceptions. There need to be more “middle of the road” stories on Saudi women and stories which “humainze” them and allow individuals who do not have a clue about Saudi Arabia that while the women may speak or look or act different at the same time they do indeed have the same cares and worries as any other woman anywhere.
One should not be too quick to judge that all Saudi women are either extreme conservatists or vocal activists.
Filed under: Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, Women Issues, culture, gender, relationships, travel
As sad as it might be, middle of the road stories do not sell newspapers and thus do not make money, which means they are pointless to publish.
During my first six years in the Kingdom, I met only the second kind of Saudi woman you describe. As a medical professional, I met other medical professionals. Saudi women doctors passed through my laboratory section regularly, and I got to know two of them quite well.
The first kind of woman you describe– the one that gets all the bad publicity– was like an elusive spirit to me. I wanted to meet one of them badly, and eventually I did, but not until after my notion of Saudi women had been fixed securely in my mind. To this day, I envision the Saudi woman wearing a white lab coat over her long skirt, and a black scarf over her head, with an open face, or at least her eyes showing.
Unfortunately, and maybe ironically, the female doctors I knew at the time were all single, and considered themselves old maids, even though their thirtieth birthdays were still well in the future.
I wonder since when did the media publicises the positive aspects of the Saudi society? Either way, they go for the most conservative or liberal view of the Saudis.
In fact, I hardly see articles of Lubna Olayan or any other businesswomen other than the conservative’s scandalised emotions of leaving her face exposed when she spoke at a business conference two or three years ago!
Which brings me to the question, why do news organisations choose stories that can attract more eyeballs even though they’re minor to me and others or present a somewhat skewered view of a country and that of its society?
You bring up an interesting point Carol,about middle of the road women never being heard in KSA and around the world.Maybe blogging is changing that somewhat?
Loved this topic… I have Saudi cousins and extended family, as well as my in-laws and I must say that I have been seeing the latter more often… I guess I will have to wait for hubby to take me to Qaseem then I might change my answer.. lol
As for the media issue… Normal stories don’t sell… they need to bring in controversy (usually the negative)… sadly enough… this is one of the reasons why people think so poorly of Saudi woman!
Great Topic as always!
I guess I was raised around the the later type. my mom is a PHD doctor, and most of my aunts are. My sister just got her masters.
But i noticed pretty early that my family was not “typical” when i started expressing my views and tell stories about my family in school among my peers.
Even thought I think Bigger cities like Riyadh and Jeddah and Dammam (including Dhahran and Khobar) are more likley to contain the Second type of women you mentioned. I also think that thats not where the majority of Saudis live. The Saudi heartland contains so much more of the first type of women. its like claiming that LA and NY progressive folks represent most of America. if that would the case, the last 8 years would have been very different for the whole world.
your insight is always great, and i will keep on commenting on the ones i like ^.^
I love to read stories from the middle of the road,
but the media are too corrupted and biased nowadays!
That’s where blogs come in!!!
Wow – thoroughly enjoy reading all of the comments that have been posted thus far.
I would say in regards to Marahm (and others) comments that depending where are you and why you are in Saudi that impacts on the type of women you will see.
For example, by working at a government run hospital I routinely see the Saudi professional woman as well as the Saudi bedu woman coming for treatment.
It is sad that middle-of-the road and “average” stories don’t make news even though they portray the majority of realistic life.
Great topic American Bedu. It was a great read.
I wanted to hear your readers’ opinion on the thinking that the ‘middle of the road’ type of Saudi woman would be normally half-Saudi and half-other (mainly other Arab parentage). She is influenced by her other half and although it does not make her liberal, it expands her horizons within acceptable coservative and traditional limits. After all, of my Saudi class-mates (whilst growing up there), I identified with those half-breeds a lot more. They seemed to have more in common with me. In fact, I would hazard to say that I would not mind the thought of eventually marrying one of those (half-Saudi, half-Arab) ladies.
My only experience with Saudi women would be the ones who come to Egypt in the summer. They wear gallons of make-up, skinny jeans under their abayas, frilly niqabs, and eight-inch gold spangled heels. They walk around the malls bored constantly talking on their latest and greatest mobiles.
Siwash – Thank you and I’m glad you have enjoyed. There certainly seems to be an increase in those who are half Saudi and half something else. Even in a mixed arab marriage, I think that in most cases the children are more open.
Molly – I could easily write a long detailed post about the Saudi woman who goes abroad and “unveils.”
Bedu: yeaaaah, when?
Molly…you just described Bahraini girls to a tee…sigh. Must be an Middle Eastern thing?
Coolred – I think it is a Middle Eastern thing among those young girls or women who feel they have to conform to a certain pattern and persona in their own countries so they perhaps go overboard when they have a ‘sense of freedom’ where noone who knows them is going to observe them.
I enjoyed reading this! Thank you for sharing.
Btw, your new banner is beautiful!
Actually we generally refer to those women as “khaleejis” so that counts for Emirati, Bahraini, Kuwaiti, and Saudi. But I think the biggest trouble-makers out of the lot are the Saudis who think Egypt is their playground in which they can do and say and act however they want.
Misyaar marriages if they’re at all practicing, prostitutes/desperately poor girls if they’re not. Saudi women unveiling (which hey, I TOTALLY don’t blame them, have at it, take off your niqaab, no one will force you to wear it here) but the ones who treat Egyptians like they treat their filipina maids drive me batty.
I’ve never seen funky hijab styles like those of khaleeji women here.
Your first paragraph perfectly described most of my sisters-in-law, nieces, and my mother-in-law. Through them and within the extended family are the more modern, educated, working Saudi women that I have also met. I would add one more description to apply to both types and those in between – for the most part, I find them all “charming!”
Forgot to mention – LUV the new banner!!!
Thanks all for the additional comments! And glad ya’ll noticed the new banner!
That was some very interesting insight, American Bedu. As you have rightly mentioned, one should never generalize. I have experiences with different categories of Saudis, some extremely intelligent, some just plain idiots, some arrogant, some benevolant and some with an extremely good sense of humor. I guess human nature is that you would find a different character in every other person and ultimately it all depends on how one’s own attitude is towards others.
By the way, your banner looks just great!
Maybe we should also have a view of who is the middle of the road Saudi man.. I have to warn though, he might be really selfish behind a steering wheel.
Oh I do like the idea of a “middle of the road” Saudi man.. stay tuned for an upcoming post!
I was told by my friends who visit saudi arabia that saudi woman DONOT MAKE FRIENDS especially with even with Muslim south asian and asian women and they donot invite them home.
Is it a cultural thing or they invite europeans and americans home?
Asian influence in the region is still young in age compared to European and American envoys. There are a lot of reasons, I think the majority has to do with foreign labor workers from house maids and manual labor. Also it has with the huge change in lifestyle in the Saudi culture and the sponsorship system. You can take in account that some nationality are marginlised out of Xenophobia and also that their embassies do not do enough to help improve the situation.
Captain Johann,
Part of the reason many Saudi women are unlikely to invite other muslim women or europeans or americans to their home is the difficulty in getting to meet such women in the first place. Take into account the segregation of the society and then factor in the language barrier as well and it makes it difficult for Saudi women to meet other women who are not already part of their inner family circle. So to answer your question, I beleive it is very much a cultural thing.
DW,
Thanks for your comment and I agree, embassies could do more to help improve the situation.
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