A few weeks ago I watched an older rerun of one of the Tash ma Tash television series episodes. This one featured a newly married Saudi couple who went on their honeymoon outside of the Kingdom but within the GCC. After visiting several capital cities, the show focused on their visit in Syria. The newly married Saudi wife continued to wear her Saudi abaya, hijjab and niqab in the traditional Saudi manner. However the husband soon began to realize that they were being charged different and higher rates for services than other customers. He finally figured it was because they were Saudi. Now the husband had been dressing in western clothes the entire time so although his Arab features were prominent, one may not easily discern he was a Saudi. But with his wife dressed in the “Saudi way” there was no mistaking their nationality. A discussion ensues and the husband persuades the wife to leave the abaya in the hotel room and emerge modestly dressed with only a loose hijjab. The wife obliges him but is clearly uncomfortable doing so. And shortly after agreeing to this all they see when they go out of the hotel is other Saudis. The next scenes are of the wife trying to cover as much as possible of her head and arms with only her hijjab available to her.
The show had other humorous twists but typical of Tash ma Tash, it takes real social issues and presents them with humor. It made me wonder about the Saudi couples who do go outside of the Kingdom and what kind of a stigma may be associated with those who are recognizably Saudi. And I’m not talking about Saudis going to the West but like the show depicted, within the GCC.
Can any Saudi readers share some of their own experiences. Are Saudis typically overcharged as compared to other Arab nationalities when outside of the Kingdom? And also it is worth discussing the views and feelings of the Saudi woman and the perception of the abaya when outside as well. In the case of Tash ma Tash the woman wanted to please her new husband. How often I wonder do the Saudi husbands ever encourage the woman to remove the abaya when outside of KSA and the woman is resistant? I would think that in most cases the woman would be eager to remove the abaya (rather than be directed to do so by a spouse). And the feelings of the Saudi wife should not be overlooked as well either. This episode I think gave a good “insider” perspective to how the woman who is always accustomed to wearing the abaya may feel lost and vulnerable when it is not in place.
If anything, this particular episode made me think more deeply on our perceptions of the abaya and the cultural traditions behind it. Maybe this could be somewhat similar to a sikh feeling forced to remove his turban or a traditional nun being forced or coerced to remove her habit? Regardless, perhaps we as people should not be so quick to be judgemental on how someone chooses to dress or not to dress.
Filed under: abbya, culture, Dress, gender, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Women Issues
I’ve read other articles from women who normally wear the abaya and for whatever reason decided not to one day. Some of them expressed the feeling of nakedness you described in the show you watched, but than again in other articles they were quite happy to take it off. I think it depends on why the woman wears it to begin with. ie: whether its purely for social/cultural reasons in order to maintain a certain appearance or whether they feel its an actual religious obligation to do so
About the charging different prices phenomenon… In egypt they have a price for egyptians and a much higher price for all foreigners. The majority of the egyptians that I know have rather low opinions of Saudis and arabs from the gulf in general (no offense to any of you btw) so I can imagine that price jacking would occur. Plus there is the impression that Saudis can afford the considerably higher prices
In reading other blogs, I have often gotten the impression that Saudis “forget themselves” when they leave S.A. I’ve heard the Saudis studying in the West are often drinking alcohol, having sex with male and female prostitutes and other practices one doesn’t associate with Islam. I’ve heard of Saudis acting similarly while visiting Damascus on holiday.
Sorry … this didn’t really relate to your interesting question, but I do remember an American woman who lived in Damascus making a comment about the only ones driving the big SUVs were “our friends, the Saudis.” I kind of got the impression this meant the Saudis were the only ones rich enough to afford big vehicles and the gas for them.
Just my two cents.
Maybe I use too many emoticons, but I like them so people will know the tone of my comments.
Btw, I would love to meet and talk with a Saudi. I hope the people who gave me the above impression are wrong. And, yes, I DO know you don’t judge all Saudis because of a few who are bad examples or whatever. I’m sure most of them are kind and loving people. I wish I could meet them.
Often I have seen Saudi women wearing the niqab with a thin mess veil over it. It is effectively a burqa.
susanne430,
College aged Saudi act like young people from every nationality. They will party, meet women, etc. I have been in the US for close to 30 years and have never thought the religious upbringing makes much of a difference statistically, whether a the college students are Christians, Muslim or any other religion. In college campuses foreign students stick out easily because there behavior may not confirm with the average American. And since only the rowdy are noticed in a foreign culture, it may give a lopsided impression of all Saudis. So yes, some Saudi students party, drink and have sexual relations., but that is common with many nationalities.
There are some other issues in Saudi society that is related to this, which is sex tourism and that is may be what you reffed to in Syria. Saudi’s and others including Americans and Westerners engage in this practice. I do think it is a bigger problem in Saudi. Bedu wrote about this issue a few weeks ago under the link attached.
http://americanbedu.com/2008/08/25/the-dark-side-of-a-saudi-vacation/
Regarding meeting Saudis, if you are ever in the Dallas area. I would love to have you visit with me and my wife.
Regards
hi there to all. there are 2 saudi women that i know of here in nz that are wives of my husbands friends and they wear the fully niqab including the gloves and sox etc. their husbands have asked them to take it off and just wear the hijab etc but they refuse saying they feel naked if not. even in my home one woman removed her niqab to eat lunch with me but just the sound of my husbands voice from the next room made her quickly pop it up again.
We often forget that Saudi women are just as conservative as Saudi men, and they often don’t want to take off their hijab/niqab. One example is the six women “consultants” in the Shura Council, who refuse to meet men and only participate in Council meetings from behind a petition.
At any rate, we should follow Queen Rania of Jordan’s advice by judging a woman not by what is on her head, but what is in her head.
Thanks for sharing Umm Yara. As a New Zealander and growing up in different kind of culture, how do you feel about the reqests of the husbands and the Saudi womens’ views?
Tom,
I like the Queen Rania analogy
When I traveled to the USA to visit family this summer, I felt “naked” at first when I removed my abaya because I was so used to it. And that was after less than a year wearing it. I have found some sort of safety and comfort in my abaya, so it was strange at first for me to be wearing “normal” clothes again.
Now, imagine you have been dressing like this for a good part of your life…of course it will be difficult to remove it.
As far as price gouging goes, I believe the same thing happens here to Americans or Westerners. When going to more traditional markets where bargaining is customary, I have been instructed on a number of occasions to not speak in English inside the stores, because as soon as the shopkeeper finds out I’m not an Arab, the prices will start to rise.
I’ve been here several years now and must admit I can easily shed the abaya without hesitation, but that is just me!
You are so right on the price going up at souks here when seeing one is Western. My husband actually has me stay out of sight when negotiating!
Again the issue of Abya and Hijab are one of religion for me. Even though I’m an American I wear the Saudi style of Abya so as not to draw attention to myself and not to stick out and scream look at me I’m a foreigner.
Now mind you my style of covering changes a bit when I go to the states so that I don’t stick out so much but my face remains covered no matter what along with wearing what is called a jibob which is like a long coat and that is not because I would feel naked without it or because my husband wants me to but because I view veiling as a command from God and want to fulfill that commandment. You will find that some women feel the same as me on this issue but those who cover from societal pressure or to be culturally acceptable I imagine that it is easier for them to change their style of covering or to eliminate it completely.
For me no matter where I traveled I think that I would do my best to blend in.
That is just my take on the issue would like to know how other women who cover feel about the issue.
Desert Flower,
What is the difference between the abaya and jilbob when you are talking about whether or not you stand out as a foreigner in the US with your face covered. You could be wearing loose pants and long shirt with long sleeves bought from The Gap but if your face is covered, trust me, you stand out as a foreigner.
my mother is american and she was at clock tower one day with a friend of hers who lives in germany but is from ecuador but came to visit her husband here who is working in riyadh. anyways my mother really threw the shopkeepers off at clock tower by talking with her friend in spanish before deciding to buy something. so I think the price really has to do with if you speak a language other then english.
Saudi in US,
Thank you for the words directed at me and the link and explanation you provided!
I am sorry if it sounded as if I were accusing Saudis of something that I know perfectly well Westerners and Christians do. I didn’t mean for it to come across that way at all. I will try to be more clear next time.
Thank you!
susanne430,
I did not take offense to your comment. I just think with the extra focus on religion in Saudi, people (including Saudi’s) forget that young Saudi’s will act young like every other nationality.
well to answer your question about how i feel about being a new zealander and growing up in different kind of culture with the reqests of the husbands and the Saudi womens’ views; i cant really say i have grown up in it as all this is rather recent for me. as a teacher i have taught saudi women and men for a number of years but have only been married for a year now so at times i am still feeling like i have been thrown into the deep end. before i naively assumed that the women shrouded in a niqab was a poor oppressed gloomy sort of soul not speaking out and doing as her husband says but wow was i wrong!!! now i see for myself that many times it is the wife who wears the pants in the house and they are certainly not holding back when wanting to express their opinions to anyone incl their husbands.in this situation of the husband the one wanting her to remove the niqab i can sort of undertand it as he wants the same oportunities in a new country for his wife as for himself and like i was before there are still a great many people out there that are intimidated by the fully black shadow approaching and shy away from interacting. i used to think enough enough too much in a western country to function and to assimiliate into this culture with that physical obstacle but now i think good on them for sticking so strongly to what they believe in. and i can imagine they must feel totally naked otherwise. and to take it off who would she be doing it for,others? and not god whom is the reason in the first place.so i dont think the husband will win on that one and i say good on her but also good on the husband for not forcing a wife to feel uncomfortable in such a situation. these women also go to university, attend school functions, go shopping and nothing seems to rustle their feathers at all. strongest women i have ever seen.
Well not much to be honest but the jilbob is just a little less mild then the full blown on the head abaya usually worn in Saudi. I know that no matter how I dress I will look foreign (even though I’m an American) but I do try my best to tone it done and blend with out compromising my religion.
Omg, that’s so weird, when I went to Jordan with my mom a few years back, I remember that my aunts and mom told me not to speak English in the souk for some reason, and I always wondered why, but they would always say”If you want a doll speak only Arabic!” But most of the times, people would already know I didn’t live in Jordan when I told them I did.(kinda creepy)lol, so it’s funny now.
And as for the abaya and jilbab, my mom wears a jilbab and sometimes she wears long shirts with flowy pants.I just wear short dress or a long top with jeans.Honestly I started wearing the Hijab in the middle of February last year, and for some reason, I already feel uncomfortable thinking about not wearing the hijab.
HelloOo Carol : )
I hope you’re doing well! Your questions are mostly directed to Saudis but I continually butt in
Sowie!
I’m overcharged by businesses wherever it is that I go (and no, I’m not paranoid.)
People usually think that if you’re a foreigner or if you don’t speak their language then you must also be stupid. I never got that! But it’s how they perceive foreigners to be and so they’d do anything to get a little extra.
As for the abaya; when my mother and father in law came to the US from Saudi to visit us so that the families get to know each other, (this was before marriage), my husband told me that his mother wouldn’t be wearing the abaya. I asked him not to ask her to remove it and to let her be comfortable, because if she doesn’t wear it and as a result she becomes uncomfortable then it would basically ruin her trip. The beauty of the States is that you can be who you are and dress as you’d like and sure you might get a few looks here and there if you’re covered head to toe in black (or green or purple) but at least you get the freedom to do so. And I love this place for that. So anyway, she came to the airport with it but then I never saw her wearing it. And I could feel her discomfort when out of the house but basically she chose not to wear it. The women in their family wear it because of culture and not religion. But then again, if you dress in a certain way and then change that I’m sure it won’t be easy.
Great post as usual. I can’t wait to come to Saudi and see how I would do when talking to women with the niqab, it’ll probably be unsettling at first (like, where do I look when talking to them?!) but I’m sure I’ll get used to it! ( : It’ll also be fun if I get to wear it!
As always I greatly appreciate (and enjoy) all the comments from everyone!! Keep them coming as I think it helps us learn much.
Tee – I have only worn a niqab once for a specific occasion and I hope to never wear one again. I found it very uncomfortable and my eyelashes kept catching on it.
Oh my GOD! When I wrote that, I actually thought about my eyelashes and wondered if they’d get caught in it!!! (it’s my experience with sunglasses that led me to think that!)
Anyway, I’d wear it if I visit them and everyone’s wearing it cuz I wouldn’t want to stand out, and for the experience of course. But I would never consider wearing it, even in Saudi, so that would mean we’re only living in places where I can dress in what I want and not be harassed!
The first few days after I removed my hijab after wearing it close to 19 years…(I live in a very extreme little town) I found myself ducking and dodging and trying to scoot down in my seat of my car when entering my neighborhood so that my neighbors couldnt see me…it was an impulsive act that I really had to control for awhile there…but eventually I realized how stupid I looked…because obviously God could see me and if I wasnt ashamed to remove it in front of Him…then why act like this in front of ordinary people….after that I never ducked or dodged again…lol.
I was in KL airport, uncovered and looking like a totally lost Indonesian tourist, when I decided that the 24 hours stay-over shouldn’t be endured in the airport all by myself.
Being the cheap humanitarian worker that I was, my options of a hotel room was limited to 5-Blossom Hotels (Yeah, that’s my word for budget rooms with no breakfast in semi-rural areas). So I ask one of the hotel vendors in the Airport lobby, what my options were, and they offered Rm80/night rooms, which was pretty okay for my very light budget.
Then they asked for an ID before confirming the room booking. That’s when my secret was exposed: A Saudi Passport was presented on their table, and the price went to whooping Rm100/night.
I grinned, took back my precious passport and walked away. I wouldn’t have minded Rm100/night, and I DEFINITELY would’ve chosen to sleep in a bed instead of laying around the hard airport chairs with mosquitoes as big as my fist to keep me company all night, if they weren’t so racist about it (oh, the woes of coming from a first-world country).
So to answer your closing question, whether its the turban or the abaya or the accent, I don’t think it matters. It’s always been preconceived expectations about the greens. Geddit?
Cheerfully yours,
H
I still say Saudi Arabia is a third world country wrapped up in first world packaging!
Hello, I live in the UAE and we do not have to travel outside of the UAE to get overcharged. Here in the souqs being an Emirati you will get overcharged because a lot of times the foreign vendors will start with an outrageous price because (1) they know the Emiratis will haggle, haggle, haggle and (2) they “think” that all Emiratis are rich. That is their reasoning.
Anyway, Carol, I love your blog. I read it everyday. Thank you.
Hi MaryAnn and thanks for your comment.
I agree with you that prices in the UAE are higher and I’d venture by about 15 per cent than here in Saudi for same kind of items.