You must have some kind of an interest in Saudi Arabia or I doubt you would be reading my blog. Perhaps you are a Saudi, an ex-pat in the Kingdom, a woman married to a Saudi, a woman interested in a Saudi or just have a general interest in learning about the Kingdom. The primary purpose of my blog is to help inform, educate, sensitize and share about day-to-day life in Saudi Arabia – the realities and not what is generally picked up by the media. So with this post, I’d like to get your responses and reactions. If someone asks you to describe Saudi Arabia or asks you what do you know about Saudi Arabia, how do you respond? If you are not in the Kingdom, is this a place you would be willing to come to and why?
And toughest of all, what in your view is the best way to describe Saudi Arabia to someone who is not familiar or knowledgeable about the Kingdom? What do they need to know? (and of course, your responses to all these questions will likely give me additional topics on which to follow up and post as well!).
Filed under: culture, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture
When people ask me about life in the Kingdom, I usually tell them it is not that much different than life in the USA. People are people any place you go, and here people do the same day to day things that people anywhere else in the world do. We work, take care of our children, visit with our families, eat meals together, etc.
When I first arrived here, the biggest “shock” to my system, was that everything here is basically normal. I was like, “this is it?” I thought there would be muttawa on every corner with guns for sure!
Of course there are societal differences to overcome, but if you come here with an open mind then those things are generally easy to overcome.
I want the media to stop portraying this land as some sort of mysterious terrorist training camp and focus more on the normal people who live here, just trying to get by day to day. I want others outside the Kingdom to know that the people here are human…they have lives, families, beliefs, and feelings of their own.
And most of all, I want people who don’t live here to stop judging and assuming what they think goes on here. Stop getting your info off of Fox News, and take time to learn for yourself from those of us who live here. Of course there are things that KSA needs to improve on, and over time it will. But there is a lot of good here, too.
Umm Sumayah, thanks for sharing your views. Let me ask you this, as a blogger and wanting to portray the realities of life in the Kingdom, do the occasional interviews I have with individuals help in that regard? Are there other ways you can suggest which through blogging can help portray an accurate and balanced picture?
Over they years, many people have asked me the question, “What was it like?” I hate that question, because it needs so much more than the sweeping three word answer I am often contrained to give.
Umm Sumayah’s answer is one that I have used, as it is true and well received. However, it is not complete.
I think the differences between life in Saudi Arabia and life in a Western country are complex and often hidden under the appearances of familiar commonalities.
Would I come back? Absolutely, but only under certain circumstances. Do I miss it? Every day.
What would someone need to know if he/she were making a decision to move there? Depends on whether she comes as a single worker or as a wife– huge differences exist in the lifestyles. I’ve been both, so I know.
Thanks, Marahm.
In regards to the decision on whether to come to KSA or not, it’s not only whether as a wife, single worker, or expat with or without family but also a matter of attitude and ability to adapt to new cultures and traditions.
It’s not easy to capture Saudi Arabia in one short paragraph.
You’re right, Bedu. I’ve known people who didn’t last more than a few weeks or months, not because they didn’t want to but because they couldn’t adapt. And how does one define “ability to adapt”? Sometimes it’s a euphemism for “tolerance” but the greater meaning is more complex.
The difficulty in capturing Saudi Arabia “in one short paragraph” was illustrated clearly by a psychologist who spoke to the process of culture shock and adaptation.
He said that many years ago, before the Kingdom had modern infrastructure, Westerners actually had less difficulty adapting. Now, when the country appears so much like other modernized countries, the foreigner becomes psychologically confused, because the Saudi (thus, foreign) culture is overlayed across a very familiar backdrop.
I’ll have to dig up my notes, and explain his interesting ideas more clearly another time.
Hi Carol!
I am afraid my answer is gonna be a bit scary… I think most of Spanish people just relate Saudi Arabia to terrorism and oil. I know these are stereotypes but they are so strong… I also think that we relate Saudi culture to a male dominant culture.
At the same time, the lack of information made that we see countries from the Gulf mysterious and unknown. Spain has a strong Marrocon immigration, so we are quite used to muslims, but we are not used at all to the people from Middle East ( well, now I think that maybe people from Marbella are used to Saudis, but this is an exeption…)
Of course this are my opinions, the ones from a girl in its twenties with master studies, and from the adults and youngs that are around me. But the sure thing is that if you want to know how really is Saudi Arabia, you have to go further from the information that you can get from the Spanish media.
It would be great to know more about Saudi music and literature and also about Saudi women opinions and lifestyle.
Thank you so much Carol for your work. Your blog is a great way to learn new things everyday!
@Marta:
I think you summarized the Western understanding of Saudi very well. There is a good metric to look at that supports this. I always thought Cartoonists reflect the view of society very well. If you search Google images for “Saudi Cartoons”, you will get a flood of negative cartoons about Saudi that focus in 3 areas: Oil Greed, Terrorism and Bad treatment of women. Now some of these perceptions are an over exaggeration of reality, but the fact they have a core reason for existence. As Saudi’s we do need to take these perceptions into consideration and work to fix some of the problems at the same time educate more so the exaggerations do not continue. For example the issue of Oil greed is a total fallacy. Saudi actually has worked for years to keep Oil prices stable, the west has not done much to slow the growth in demand.
Carol,
My own perceptions can be very complicated and long so I will try to summarize. The intent is not to offend, but self examination.
Positive: Good people. Saudi’s are very generous, will go a long way to help others, have very good values, do have a sense of duty towards country and others, there are many Saudi’s that are genuinely interested in moving the nation forward and last but not least strong family bonds.
Negatives: This may sound longer than the positives, but that is only because I want to treat the issues to bring better understanding. One of our primary issues is we do not do enough self criticism.
- Lack of Courage to Change Wrongs: Saudi’s are surrounded with issues that go against their morals, but yet very few will want to make an impact. Whether it is a Muttwa harassing a woman at a mall or dealing with corrupt officials, we just turn our head away and just live with it.
- Intense focus on minor issues and ignoring the big ones: Many people get too involved on other people’s personal issues that has no impact on them. For example if their neighbor drinks it may be a huge problem for them. However, the other neighbor could be physically abusive to his wife and kids and no one will even get involved. I am not saying we should accept both, we should develop a better sense of priorities.
- Lack of focus on education: Yes many people hold degrees, but that does not make the public well educated. I have discussed this many times before as one of our primary issues. There is a focus in eliminating free thinking manifested directly in censorship, but goes beyond that in people around you not allowing you to express different ideas freely. Education goes beyond degrees, it involves critical thinking and open discussions to improve understanding.
- Hardwork: Yes this is not just a perception it is reality. There are individual Saudi’s that will work very hard, but in general we have lost our values in this area. We are in many ways a still developing nation, with a deadline looming on our resources running out. Yes the deadline may be 50 years away, but it takes that long to build a nation. We need to start working for that day.
- Treatment of women: We sold ourselves on the concept that we are protecting women by all our controls. In reality we treat women almost like children. Before anyone gives me an individual example, I am talking the general attitude of law, society and rights, not an individual man. It is time we accept this as an issue so we can change it. Even the most religious of us needs to think about how much freedoms Aysha, the wife of the the prophet, had. She expressed her opinions freely and led men. She rode a camel for example (which offered less protection than a car), yet we won’t let women drive.
Ok, I am getting too wordy here so I will stop with a Summary. Saudi is a place with good people, but there are some serious issues, that makes it a hard place to live and prosper. I feel we can change that if we start accepting the issues first.
My comments…
- there’s a general atmosphere of boredom and misery. Non-Saudi staff at hotels and restaurants just look as if they have no desire to be there at all. Even if salaries aren’t particularly good in other Gulf countries, you do occasionally see people smile.
- Saudis seem quite happy – relaxed and unhurried, unless they are driving somewhere.
- people who were born there but are not Saudi generally can’t muster anything more enthusiastic to say about what is essentially their homeland other than ‘there’s not much traffic’ or ‘life’s not very expensive’.
- the behavior in Saudi seems totally different to what you see when Saudis are out of Saudi. This comes across as hypocritical, although it’s wrong to tar everyone with the same brush.
- Saudis and non-Saudis alike seize on any opportunity to get out of the country.
- work can be incredibly frustrating. Disorganised, driven by personal connections rather than what’s actually the right product for a particular situation, with zero planning.
- driving is not simply bad, it is suicidally awful, with the traffic police apparently not seeming to care. Every expat has a story about being crashed into or locked up, despite the accident not being their fault at all.
- getting in and getting out is usually chaotic, frustrating and slow.
- getting in requires extensive visa procedures, despite the fact that most people trying to enter are doing so at the invitation of Saudi customers and clients who want you to be there to assist. It’s not like people, certainly from the West, are trying to emigrate there as illegal immigrants, so why is it so hard to get in?
I’d like to be more positive, as I’ve met many nice people who live in Saudi, but I’d be hard pressed to find anyone who says they want to go there for any other reason than money or because they have to.
I’ve been doing my own thinking about how to describe Saudi in a fair and realistic picture. I’ve decided rather than try to sit and explain all the contrasts and contradictions for there are way too many, I’d rather give someone the collection of Tash ma Tash that is now available on DVD’s to view. Yes; this is a sitcom comedy but it is one that does look at all the various issues – good, bad and in-between that make up Saudi Arabia.
Marahm – yes; if you locate your notes it would be great to share more!
I look forward to reading more comments on this topic as well.
Thank you Saudi in US!:)
I can only tell my perception as someone who hasn’t yet lived/worked there, but has gone through the extensive interview/contract/visa process, and spoken with you folks, and with my interviewer and recruiting people. As someone on the yahoo expats board commented, the recruiters are intensively polite and helpful and sweet, but I find somewhat vague about my most important questions. The person with whom I interviewed is an expat and as much as I personally like her I’m finding myself wondering if she’ll be more open in conversation with me once I’m THERE… In other words I’m wondering if all the vague and cryptic and stilted conversations I have are because of monitoring of the phones and internet. I continue to expect MORE from my questions and their answers but it’s just not there. And these are the in-country expats.
I’m also somewhat offended by (but understand) the process of heavily vetting us (because of people w/fake credentials etc). I really do understand the reason for the Saudi vigilance re:jobs, but what’s frustrating is that this system alienates someone like me who’s ethical, honest and truly excited for the opportunity, but made to feel like my questions/concerns and need for information is unnecessary and, worse, irritating. I’ve been told to “relax” after asking a reasonable question, and heard heavy sighs on the other end of the phone when I ask for more than a verbal description of my living space. No pictures, no website.
I will treat you with as much respect as I receive from you, and will give loyalty even when I find it’s not entirely deserved (which I feel might be the case) and I’m frustrated that what I’m perceiving (based on 8 months remote experience) is that my qualities don’t outweigh the need for my employers system to constantly push it’s.. I don’t know.. superiority and control issues.
Again, these are all impressions from my dealings by phone and internet from the US. I simply don’t like being treated like the worst possible case when I intend to be the best.
Ultimately, I can only make myself happy w/my performance and don’t really care what others think too much..but will not stand for being taken advantage of when I’m offering my best. Unfortunately I get too mentally wound up in the right vs wrong of others behavior, and need to learn to let it go.
I hope this addressed your question, as much as psychoanalyzed it.. lol I suppose I could have paraphrased -(unnecessarily) “paranoid” “secretive” “potentially deceptive” “but polite” are words for my EXPERIENCE – NOT words I’d use for the people and culture, because I have not experienced that yet.
“I want the media to stop portraying this land as some sort of mysterious terrorist training camp and focus more on the normal people who live here”
Now that would be boring.
To me its a place where women, non-muslims, homosexuals, foreign manual laborers etc. are severely undermined every step of the way by society and laws. Which is why its an unacceptable place to live. Its a state with very few rights unless you’re a saudi male.
A land where the word “InshAllah” can mean anything from…ok Ill do it now…to ok Ill do it sometime in the future…to ok I probably wont ever do it but please go away and stop bothering me.
The word InshaAllah crosses borders and is universally used in all Arab states as far as I know.
@Andrea – I have no doubt all of us will want to hear from you once you are here and how your views change, if any. It sounds like you have the right attitude for coming here – to make it a possible experience.
Chances are the interviewer was hesitant to respond about living quarters for perhaps a few reasons…if your employer provides housing, you may not know till arrival what is available to be able to describe where you will live; if you are a single female there is a high chance you may be in shared quarters (although there are some employers who do give single accomodations too). It sounds like the interviewer is being cautious to me.
@G – yes, it is a man’s country more than one for women, that is true.
@Abid – Hopefully my blog and others do help give people a better and realistic view of KSA and there are lots of very interesting “real ordinary people” here.
coolred: Oh yes, the “inshallah” syndrome does indeed cross the borders. It’s a beautiful word and can fit about every scenario.
Marahm mentioned that some people in Saudi fail to “adapt”. I can’t comment on Saudi but I can comment on the UAE. I have found it hard to enjoy my new life here since arriving in November. Part of this is due to unexpected costs, high accommodation prices, a drop in housing quality etc. There are however certain cultural and religious differences that I just absolutely cannot get used to. Some I just can’t put my finger on. The conservative nature of the country and most of its people is one. The non-secular nature of the country is another which I thought wouldn’t affect me but for some reason it has.
Aside from the financial and living standard issues, I just can’t be really specific why I have had trouble adapting to life in the Middle East and I am counting down the days until I leave. Not healthy, I contintually try to change this perception but that’s just the way it is for me, for now.
Ryan – thanks for your comment. You raise a good point. Not everyone – in spite of best efforts – is suited to live happily and productively in this region. Overall I like it and while there are some things I may disagree with or don’t like I try to stay away from those aspects and minimize them.
Overall I think Saudi in US summed up well so many good points and facts. He’s right in that Saudis are indeed very generous and hospitable and we all could take lessons from them. I greatly appreciate the orientation and focus on family. While nursing homes and retirement centers are so common in the United States they still remain relatively unknown here as one wouldn’t think of sending a family member out for care or to live among strangers.
But to get back to the main topic of my post on how is Saudi Arabia perceived I think it is perceived primarily in a negative fashion to the rest of the world. I blame that on both the media for what is publised and broadcast about the Kingdom but also point towards government officials as well such as Ministry of Information and Ministry of Foreign Affairs (among others) for not being more proactive in interacting with the foreign media and for ensuring balanced reporting is taking place.
Carol,
you asked about the previous interviews you have done and if they helped. I can’t say that they helped me personally, because I already live here, but I’m sure they were helpful to those wanting to learn about KSA. I especially liked the interview the the Saudi man because it showed him as HUMAN…with a sense of humor.
I would like it if you did interviews more regularly…maybe an “interview of the month” post or something. I’d also love to hear more from women, expats and saudis alike. I think it would give people a more realistic view on what it’s like to be a woman here.
Thank you for the great feedback Umm Sumayah. I am trying to incorporate monthly interviews…much depends on whether individuals are willing to be interviewed or not! (smile) Some may come eagerly forward but after receiving questions feel that it may not be for them. But stay tuned… I hope you will enjoy some surprise interviews I’ll have coming up in September.
I agree…I like reading about real people who in spite of perhaps differences in nationality, religiion, culture, traditions there are in fact a lot of similarities because we are HUMAN.
Salam American Bedu,
I think that one can’t help but have a love-hate relationship with this place. . .
There are so many positive elements of being here — especially as a Muslim/ Western person who appreciates the calls to prayer; the closing of the shops to encourage people to attend those prayers; the modesty on the streets; the kindness of neighbours hailing from around the world. . .
but it still seems an impenetrable society – one that is challenging at best.
Nevertheless, I find it fascinating to be here, and I’m learning so much – about others, myself and my family.
Nothing teaches like travel, especially to countries often misunderstood in the global cultural discourse.
Um Fatima
http://viewfromsaudi.blogspot.com/
Walaikum Salam Um Fatima,
Thanks for your comments. There are indeed positive and negative elements. Although I am mixed on the closing of the shops because at least in Riyadh, Jeddah, etc., there are a large percentage of residents who are not Muslim. I feel like the closing of the shops is more like forcing people to pray. I don’t think someone needs to be encouraged to pray per se but that is something in their heart they know is right for them to do.
Ryan,
Living in the UAE is hard at times. I have lived here 2 years and only now getting used to it. It takes time, there is an almost life cycle to adjusting to a new country and believe me, it has little to do with anything apart from what is in our heads. We would feel the same in almost any country,just we somewhat look for reasons why we do not like somewhere ad being in a Muslim, Arab country, these are the first things we blame.
Give it time seriously!
Reuters chose to pick up this post:
http://www.reuters.com/article/blogBurst/entertainment?bbPostId=B6kcqoGH9Pf8Bzn7nRZ5sNNoB5ljOiJ8WTCnB8GM3cFt1o2H
Hey, im only 19 years old !
If you are not in the Kingdom, is this a place you would be willing to come to and why?
No, because its not fun to live here no thing to do no place to go ! !
-And toughest of all, what in your view is the best way to describe Saudi Arabia to someone who is not familiar or knowledgeable about the Kingdom?
A big prison !
-What do they need to know?
well its not the life you are used to live !
Mo – thanks for your comment. What part of the Kingdom are you in? I know that choices and things to do may appear limited at first (depending on where one came from) but I think at the same time the Kingdom gets too hard of a rap and that there is more to see and do than what most people may realize.
You’re quite right though that for many it probably is not the lifestyle they were most accustomed to living.