The following article which appeared a few weeks ago in Arab News continues to illustrate the serious social problems which continue to exist in Saudi Arabia pertaining to marriage. If you can imagine, due to a wager (which I believe is also viewed as unislamic) a 64 year old man gained a child bride. And gee, he is so compassionate that he will wait until she is 15 and he is 69 before consummating the marriage. That is so very kind and thoughtful of him…
What about the father? How can he think it is okay to commit his daughter to man old enough not only to be her father but to be her grandfather? And how can the Kingdom and its laws view this as appropriate or okay?
For those of you who are parents or those of you not yet married, can you really imagine yourself in such a position? If the groom had so much money that he could lay it down to a wager, how about show compassion and humanity and just give it as a charitable gift for the young woman to have at the time when she is of a reasonable marriageable age to someone more compatible as well.
http://arabnews.com/?page=1§ion=0&article=111969&d=20&m=7&y=2008
Man says will wait to consummate marriage with 10-year-old Hail girl
Arab News
Filed under: relationships, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Women Issues
This is ridiculous.
Where did the fact that a girl must agree to the marriage otherwise it is void go?
tee,
Yes it is ridiculous. Imagine a country of 20 million people, with no laws to govern these issues and that will explain why you hear of cases like this. It is not that every Saudi will treat his daughter like a commodity, it is that the few that do have nothing to stop them.
Meanwhile a young girl waits for for the next 5 years for her ultimate fate and that is if she is so lucky and he keeps his promise of waiting. I do not trust he will. Or just may be he waits and kick the bucket before it is time and there will be some little justice.
I wonder why puberty is the distinguishing mark that signifies one is “ready” for marriage…doesnt maturity…responsibility…intelligence etc have anything to do with the process at all? It would seem that for some…that puberty is all about external show and nothing about whats going on inside the body…inside the mind etc.
I dont know how this day and age that one can truly live “unenlightened”…its not as if these men are living in caves is it…well…except for the ones in their minds.
How utterly disgusting. Completely unethical and unislamic. Who is standing up for this girl’s rights as a Muslim? That poor child is going to be raped. I hope that old man dies before he can touch her.
Puberty doesn’t mean a girl is ready for sex, nor that she is ready to give birth. The mortality rate of women who die in labour is exceedingly higher the younger they are. It’s such an injustice to young girls.
I made a comment on Daisys blog about this subject and there was also discussion about it on AbuS&Ss blog not too long ago. Mosh’Allah I am the mother of 3 girls. One of them just turned 20 and another is 13 1/2. I can not imagine wanting to be married to either one of them!!! Neither of them know what they want in life and only the 20 year old partly picks up after herself, they are both mainly concerned only about themselves and they are both very immature in different areas!
What were either of these men thinking? Sounds like the father of the bride had $$$ signs in his eyes and the groom-to-be wanted to prove he could meet the fathers challenge. Insh’Allah for the sake of the girl somebody will back down. What rights or say does she have in this matter if any?
This is indeed an extreme case. These cases are thankfully in the minority but really, that is not acceptable until there are simply no cases like this.
And it is not only the pre-puberty girls who have no say. Even the older girls (18 and above) are highly unlikely to go against their family wishes in regards to the husband that has been selected for them.
I agree with the majority of the comments in that perhaps the circumstances of the groom will change so that the marriage will never take place.
This is absolutely disgusting. What about the father of the girl? He is as much guilty. Greed makes man stoop down to such levels.
Expatguru, I agree with you that both the “groom” and father are equally guilty and responsible.
Complaining won’t help this girl or any others like her. And we really don’t know how wide-spread this custom is in the Kingdom because we have no figures on the age of brides here. (at least as far as I know) Think of all the small towns…or better yet, let’s not. : (
Perhaps we need to find a well-respected official or imam to give a ‘fatwah’ as to the allowable age….and then have it made into a law so that the majority of the people might be swayed to follow it.
These old tribal customs won’t go away unless enforceable laws are used to protect these kids. KSA has the thinking that was common in America during the 1950′s and 60′s where a man’s home is his castle and he is the ‘ruler’ of his home.
People live so much longer these days, so child brides aren’t necessary. Women can have children in their 30′s, 40′s and beyond.
So let’s spread the word to let children have their playtime. And let their fathers give away their 60 year old sisters to the 70 year old men if they want. : )
Crossroads Arabia blog had an excerpt about attempts to regulate marriageable age. Seems like an 11 year old boy was passing out invites not to a birthday party but to his wedding to a 10 year old girl which started an outcry and the wedding was indeed postponed. Worth reading…
Yes, but because of social pressure…the father backed down on his son’s wedding. He said his son could wait until he was 12 to get married. Idiots can be found everywhere.
But at least social pressure was applied and successful…in a sense…
One thing is clear, that girl is not loved, neither by her father, nor anyone else.
The grossest deriliction of duty for a parent.
I really can’t say anything to this, it’s too disgusting!!!!!!
And I don’t want to hear from any bigot: it’s halal. Because it can’t be that a little kid can give her full, hearty consent to a marriage, let alone to a pedophile decripid geriatric old goat.
Let’s be real how much of a future she can look to? What if he snuffs it after raping her and saddling her with one or two kids? Inheritance laws aren’t such that she can look forward to a comfortable income too keep her after the feeble geriatric leacherous childmolester has finally expired!
And the trend for virgins being as it is in KSA, nobody will be interested in a fourteen year old non-virgin, so she’s lost all chance of a future.
Let’s all hope he snuffs it very soon!
And for good measure the bastard of a father too!
A really concerned government would step in here and save the child and put her into childcustody, and arrange a suitable marriage for her. In a few years, in a great many few years.
I’ve said quite a lot looking back..
I agree with you Aafke that is is incomprehensible how a parent can allow let alone endorse such a union…. so very sad.
Today’s Arab News also had an article which tracks nicely with today’s posting too:
http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1§ion=0&article=112647&d=10&m=8&y=2008&pix=kingdom.jpg&category=Kingdom
I like the wording, especially the sentence:
*rejecting this absurd notion that a father can force his daughter to marry someone against her will. *
Lucky girl to have the support of her family.
Indeed she is!
Poor child…
Doesn’t her family realize that the man is near the end of his years and she will soon be a widow?
iRise – they may realize but not care…after all, the father is now 100,000 SAR richer…
I remember reading about this a while back. Normally I am very sarcastic, but this is too serious. It is absurd that a father would do such a grotesque thing.
1. She is a baby, her degenerate father should be looking out for her best interest, not his own. This man paid 100k to the father? The dowry is for the bride. So why doesn’t the father consumate the marriage with the old fart then?
2. As a muslim (and needless to mention a HUMAN being) she has the right to choose the husband of her choice.
3. It’s disgusting to think that this 65yr old pig is probably anxious to get his hands on this young girl and will probably not wait the 5yrs.
UNBELIEVABLE!!!
chances are at 10 years old, as you said, Simply, she is still a baby and probably doesn’t really know what is going on or that her father received so much money.
Like she even would know her father received so much money…for sure she isnt getting any of it.
highly unlikely at that age and in the manner for which is was obtained…
It is worth viewing the additional link from Arab News which I added today. Seems that the court has postponed a ruling but the new information further advises that the father had already done this before — twice with two other daughters AND (no big surprise here) — the mother is divorced from the father. Let’s hope that public outcry can make a difference in this (and other) cases.
Carol,
It seems like a different case from the southern city of Abha. Another sad story where girls are sold off to marry a real old man.
geez….then that is doubly sad to have to cases of baby brides and so close together (timewise)
Oh My God, My heart goes out to this poor girl, I don’t really know what to say, but her Father is screwed in the head, and that old man needs some sort of therapy for the elderly or something because clearly both of the grown men have lost it, where is Islam? Where is the Father’s love for his daughter gone? Poor girl, she’s gonna have her life wasted all because of that filthly man, I hope one of them will back down, and if not, God Forgive me, I hope the old man has a stroke.
As an article in one of today’s papers point out, this is not an isolated case:
http://www.adnkronos.com/AKI/English/CultureAndMedia/?id=1.0.2408174538
I write about these disgusting sales (euphemistically referred to as ‘marriages”) quite frequently. When it comes to the Middle East and Muslim Asia, Saudi, Yemen and Afghanistan are leading the pack with allowing the LEGAL sale of children to old men and calling it “marriage” — or maybe they are just leading in reporting it.
Makes me sick.
At least one can hope that if it is being reported then ultimately (positive) actions will be taken against it.
Well, the Grand Mufti has ruled men cannot be married to girls 50 years their junior!
http://www.arabnews.com/?page=7§ion=0&article=113261&d=23&m=8&y=2008
But in typically fashion the article goes on to state that these girls will be sexually frustrated as they get older leading to adultry or drug use!
Come on…give me a break and for once speak logically of the psychological impact and damage done to a young girl by marrying her off to an old geezer…. and then of course the article goes on to state that “hopefully” concerned ministries will enforce the Grand Mufti’s ruling.
So in other words, there’s been a ruling but we al know it is going to continue.
Pursuant to the ruling of the Grand Mufti, an editorial appeared in today’s (27 August) Arab News which I think captures the importance of bringing this issue into the limelight:
http://www.arabnews.com/?page=7§ion=0&article=113440&d=27&m=8&y=2008
Reuters has picked up this post:
http://www.reuters.com/article/blogBurst/entertainment?bbPostId=B6kcqoGH9Pf8Bzn7nRZ5sNNoCzCVBFFwb37utB6WYBd16V6Nv
[...] had been some high profile cases in the recent past in Saudi Arabia where men would marry a woman much younger than themselves. For example, in late 2008 in Hail, a 64 year old man married a ten [...]