Pet peeve time again… tissues are the all-purpose and most frequently used item here in the Kingdom. I wish I had invested in Kleenex stock! But I must admit that my patience runs thin when I see too many Saudis who will use a tissue to service their nose inside a residence and then instead of tossing the tissue into the trash, will toss it onto the floor instead. I’m saddened to say this happened in my own and I could not keep my mouth shut. I asked the culprit to pick it up and toss it in the trash. I do not believe in allowing such gross negligence and laziness to happen. To begin with, a housemaid is a human being and should not be expected to pick up such items from the floor as a normal occurrence and secondly, I don’t like the concept of such a dirty germ filled item littering my floor. Now I’ll be blunt, some Saudis have disagreed with me on this topic and think I overreact. I’m certainly curious to what readers views are on this topic and for those in Saudi (or elsewhere) if they have had to contend with this experience?
Filed under: Health, Saudi culture, relationships
What?
I think this is rude. Other cultures are guilty of it, though, but perhaps for different reasons. Have you ever been in a Spanish cafe for breakfast? People wipe their hands and drop the napkins to the floor. The mindset? Someone is paid to pick that up. Would they do it in someone’s house? Absolutely not. I don’t care where you’re from: If you’re in someone’s home you do not drop items on the floor to be collected by someone else. It’s a matter of good manners.
I had this same exact experience with my Omani ex and his brother leaving tissue everywhere….WHY OH WHY do they do this?
Pretty filthy.
I thought cleanliness was next to Godliness?
So much for that idea…
Southern red-necked males do it too.After 24 years I’ve yet to reform anybody in my house.Maybe it’s genetic?No house maid here so guess who does the picking up?
I’ve taken a stance and refuse to pick them up. I have no qualms letting the culprits be embarrased in telling any guests who may come and see them that I refuse to pick up such items that those old enough to know better continue to let fall! That attitude (maybe not nice or polite) is working on getting the point across.
Disgusting.
Can’t stand it if people throw stuff on the floor while having a waste basket in reach. But that is outside on the road…
Inside a house?
Not even mentioning bacteria-riddled nasalwaste?!?!?!
I had the same problem in Spain in tapas-bars: I couldn’t get myself to do it, and carefully folded my little tapas-papers, and put them in the ashtray, after which I got admonished by the proprietor, while he emptied the ashtray on the floor before the bar.
Apparently that’s the system: you throw everything on the floor, after which it gets cleaned, and then you throw everything on the floor again….
This is exactly why I have met Saudi students here in the USA who literally do NOT know how to clean a house. They dont know how to do dishes, they dont know how to do laundry or anything else. It is exactly because they grew up having a slave…..opps, maid to do it all for them.
Heaven forbid they’d have to pick up their own candy wrappers from the floor.
I just can’t understand how people can do that. But, that’s coming from someone who, in a restaurant, stacks the dirty dishes and napkins in a pile at the edge of the freshly wiped up (by me) table. Yes, it’s the busboy or waitress’ job but does it kill me to lend a bit of a hand in cleaning up after myself? Not at all. It’s not like it’s a big deal to be considerate of other people.
I just had an argument with my best friend(Bahraini) last nite…she leaves a trail of kleenex every where she goes…including within my house…I love her to bits but sheesh!
I have found that in some cases they really have no idea what offense they are committing…just brought up to believe “oh dont worry…somones gonna get that”…oh really…and who might that be? I know Im gonna piss off some people but as generous and kind as Bahrainis can be…they are some of the most laziest people I have ever seen when it comes to throwing garbage in a garbage can…just cant seem to do it. Go to any park or beach here…sit for awhile and see what happens…trashcans empty…but watch where you step…no lie….sheesh!
Okay now, you’ve shocked me! I must say in my 25 years in Kuwait, I’ve never, ever seen this in my house OR anyone else’s house!!
1. It’s full of bacteria!
2. Why would I pick up anyone else’s disgusting kleenex from anywhere, floor or otherwise?
3. On the floor?!
To me, it’s the same as tossing a dirty pamper, or other unmentionables on the floor.
I’ve never seen this in my own country, and must say I’ve never seen it in Kuwait. I’m speechless for once.
Must be a Saudi thing.
This is perhaps where one sees the downside of a housemaid for it can cause normally nice people to do disgusting things like throwing tissues on the floor…even with a wastebasket in plain sight. Since marriage to a Saudi I make sure to have one wastebasket in each and every room.
Being a Saudi, myself, I find this pretty darn disgusting!! Yes, Ryan, cleanliness is Godliness, but it means obviously nothing to those who don’t give a hoot about GOD from the beginning. Saying something is completely different from actually doing it. Unfortunately, when it comes to Saudi Arabia, lots and lots, do the talk but never ever do the walk.
As a Saudi, I must admit, all my life, I have learned to clean, cook and pretty much do everything that NORMAL people do. We never ever had a maid. Only when my mother was diagnosed with cancer (1998) did my father get her a maid. She was more of an aide really to my mother due to her illness rather than a maid per se.
What AbuSinan mentioned is pathetically sad and VERY true. We both were pretty much disgusted with certain people that we visited here. We knew of a Saudi girl who lives in Kansas but came over to the DC area to visit her brothers who lived in Arlington. Get this……..two single bachelors living in a million dollar townhome and she has a VACATION apartment in Arlington and the rent is $3000 bucks a month. Basically all year she is not even here in DC but in Kansas living in her own HOUSE!!! I wonder where is the money coming from??? Hmmmmm, need I say??? LOL
But anyway, when we visited, we could not believe the filth that we had to endure. It was pretty darn BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!! Sad they live in such a nice place. From the outside, beautiful and clean and you go inside and it is literally a nightmare!!!
It is sad really that these people have time to mess around, own lavish cars, wear the finest clothes, have boyfriends and girlfriends, go on numerous vacations and the list goes on……but heaven forbid don’t have the time or the energy to clean after themselves??? If you ask me, they probably don’t know how to wipe their you know what even……….pretty nasty!!
Never mind, the fact that they COULD afford a maid company service at least once a month to clean after them??? Believe it or not, she had the guts to ask me if she could BORROW, yes, BORROW, our maid to clean up her apartment and her brother’s house. Stupid me, I agreed, but thinking it would be a good opportunity for our maid to make EXTRA money on the side. Believe it or not people, they gave her NOTHINGGGGGGGG!!!
I don’t think you can get any more disgusting and low class than that……………………and yes, I am happily no longer in contact with these people……LOL!!
Coolred has a great point. I have traveled all over the Middle East and most of the times the houses I visited were very clean, step outside of the door and it is a nightmare. No concept of littering, it is common to drop trash where you are, throw it out the door. It is AWFUL!
I remember when I lived in Germany you could go all day hiking and not see a piece of trash. Littering was a huge deal there and people just didn’t do it. It used to be a joke that you could tell when you passed into France because everything got more dirty.
I hate to say it, but any Middle Eastern city makes even the dirtiest French city look like a museum.
Putting your own rubbish in the bin doesn’t make you a maid or a servant, it just makes you clean!
Considering that “Bahrainis” are Khaleeji (from the Gulf), I think it is ALL Gulf, in general, who think they are superior to not only other Arab/Middle Eastern countries, but the WORLD, as a whole!!!
I have often had people tell me that had I lived there ALL my life, maybe I would have turned out just like them. I say, NO WAY, JOSE………LOL Nothing in the world can change the person who you are!! What changes is how perhaps someone would deal with issues and situations, not the type of person you are….your essence NEVER changes!!
So, generally speaking here, if I had lived there all my life, would I have learned that it was OK to throw dirty laundry on someone else’s turf? Probably, but not necessarily would I have done so because I am a CLEAN freak period. It is who I am regardless of religion, family, race or what have you…………I think I would be this way, even if I was raised in the jungle! LOL
To be frank , I haven’t seen what Carol and what many others tell in thier comments. I have seen SOME persons through cans,tissues in streets but to through thier tissues in thier homes or in other’s homes if they r GUESTS in ,alhamdullilah, I haven’t seen this yet. You know what,i start to think that I’m lucky to have clean family and friends.lol
Manal, you reminded me of my upsltairs neighbors…they literally throw everything out their window down unto my small patch…when i say everything…I mean…other than the usual type of refuse like paper products..etc…they have thrown clothes…parts of furniture…and even a whole single mattress…yes…out the window(our side of the building faces the back yard of a kabob store) and so all this crap is piled up outside my bedroom window. In the night I can hear bottles being tossed and broken and what sounds like whole cupboards of things being tossed now and then. No amount of complaining seems to change their behavoirs. I mean how hard can it be to throw stuff into the kitchen can…or at least put it outside the front door…Im sure someone will come along and haul it off…why throw it out the window?
reminds me… I need to move.
Whenever I’m home or visiting, if I have trash, I throw it away in a basket.
Manal – I think you come from a very unusual family. I know Saudis who do not think twice on picking up after themselves, cooking and cleaning but they also have maids. The majority whom I know have housemaids.
Coffeeboy – glad you have not experienced this down side. I’m saddened that I have but I hope in my way I’m getting my point across that rules in my house will be followed!
Coolred – I agree – time to move!
Carol,
Manal’s father was a diplomat so they moved a lot. It is hard to hold onto maids, or even bother getting them when you move every couple of years.
When they moved and settled in America they decided to stay, and to a certain extent, picked up the American culture of doing for themselves.
Saudi culture, currently, is a “what can you do for me culture”. This extends to the very bottom where even the lower middle class often have at least one maid and a driver, to the top where the esteem a prince, boss or other figure in society is directly related to what he does for those below him.
Saudi society certainly is not one of self reliance or a do it yourself culture. Children are taught from an early age that cleaning and other such things are not suitable work for a Saudi to do.
I say THANK GOD that Manal’s family got rid of that attitude when they left Saudi. Her son, who is back living in Saudi, is getting grief from his father’s family because he is going to work at a Starbucks in Jeddah.
Why? Because such work is “not fit for a Saudi”. This stuff is all related.
Why wouldn’t a Saudi pick up their own tissue paper that they blew their nose on? Because it isn’t “fit for a Saudi”. That is what the third world, poor maid is for. I read an article the other day about three young Saudi men who do nothing but sit around all day.
Two have educations with no experience, one has nothing outside of high school. They all refuse to work because there is no work “fit for a Saudi”.
Never mind they have no experience, in one case no school. They want to start at the top.
This is ALL related and is one of the great failings of Saudi society. You cannot separate them, they are all related.
It is interesting that I sit here in the states and watch you become a little bit more disgruntled with the Society society every day.
You are lucky in that you have a husband and his family who have facilitated your experience there. Imagine if you didn’t have that?
Saudi society is one that is geared towards those who have. If you don’t have, forget about it.
It certainly isn’t a society that is geared towards lifting people up and helping people succeed.
One day the oil is going to run out.
Opps….mean Saudi society.
I used to work in a hotel in a Southeast Asian country where many Saudis were staying in summer. Housekeeping staff were always complaining about Saudi guests leaving all kinds of garbage on the floor such as used kleenex, banana peel, bubblegum wrap…etc. I remember the staff saying “At least 45 minutes is necessary to clean a Saudi guest room while 20 minutes is more than enough to clean a non-Saudi guest room”. I don’t know how Saudi people feel about this comment. If they say “We pay to stay in a hotel, so how we use our room is not your business”, I can’t say anything because they have all the right to say so as they pay for the service. However, I believe it will be nice if they are a little more thoughtful of people who clean their room as it is not so difficult to be so. There are a few wastebaskets in a hotel room, so why not they use them. From my experience from working for the hotel, I can say some Saudis think it is their housekeeper’s job to pick up trash from the floor but I don’t think so. I believe we all must be responsible for whatever waste we make.
By the way, this is a very nice blog. It is nice to learn about Saudi Arabia from a foreign lady who accepts the culture, knows a lot about the country and can explain with least bias. I hope you will tell us about Saudi women, especially what we can’t read in books whether good or bad. Please keep up your job.
Welcome Yamato Girl and appreciate your comments.
Actually I have written a number of posts about Saudi women and encourage you to use the search bar located at the top of the front page. If however you find certain aspects or questions you have not addressed please let me know and I’ll be happy to do so.
coolred38; I’d just dump everything back in front of their door.
Carol,
I believe you did the right thing by asking the person to dispose of it properly. I really don’t understand middle eastern people and their trash. I personally have seen it more with the women and children than with the men.
Just this past weekend we had a picnic at the park for a recently married couple visiting from Nebraska. The men and women were seperated in different areas with the children running back and forth between the two. We could see the mens area and it was clearly more organized and cleaner than ours. I don’t know how many times I tried to organize our area and pick up trash but it seemed to never end!!! Most of them seemed oblivious to it. After I finally gave up there was another woman who gathered a few bags of trash and I could tell by the look on her face that she was as frustrated with it as I was! I ended up leaving before everyone else due to the heat and my children being tired. I do hope that everyone ended up picking up after themselves and their children and not leaving that lone woman to do it all.
This is the main reason why I refuse to have any big gatherings or celebrations in our home. When our children have been born we have opted to kill the lamb and split up the meat between our neighbors and close friends. My husband has offered to rent a hall for the women and children to do a celebration but I know that would just be a big mess too! Distributing the meat is a much easier option. Anyway, you’re the queen of your castle so I don’t think you should feel bad about it and good for you for sticking up for your help!
Abusinan
Some time back the countries that the majority of housemaids come from here in Bahrain…like India and the Phillipines etc put forth the plan to have a minimum wage that must be paid to any housemaid coming from their country. Generally they get around bd50 a month…the law raised that to Bd100. You cant imagine how angry Bahrainis got…claiming they werent gonna pay that amount…it wasnt worth it etc…meanwhile even the lowest of income families seem to have maids. It seems to be believed that everyone is entitled to a maid…even if they cant afford one. So basically all they did was embargo those countries and go looking for maids from other countries…and pay them that pitiful wage(and dont get me started on the number of families that dont pay thier maid for months at a time…cause they cant afford it…so they say)
Oh yes Tina, when there are large gatherings with children, just be prepared and be very patient. A lot of children are not taught discipline and things can get pretty disruptive. Another of my pet peeves is that I dislike having to use a washroom during a large gathering with many children (and women).
What could be the origin of this habit of throwing tissue on the floor? Could it be the concept of, “Out of sight, out of mind,”? Could it be a remnant of bedu behavior, when wandering around the vast desert meant that you could drop your trash and never see it again?
My peeve regarding tissues was that people used them instead of napkins. In fact, I met some Arabs (of various countries) that did not know about napkins. They actually thought tissues were for wiping hands after eating, and incidentally for clearing one’s nose.
I can’ t help but mention that IF it is that difficult for someone to simply pick up after themselves minor things like “tissues”, imagine what their you know what is like???? I would think that takes a little more effort to really stay clean…………Something to think about………..LOL!!!
@coolred,
I wish the people of the Gulf put as much energy into fighting for freedom of speech and elections as they did for fighting to keep their maids and drivers, and keep them under paid.
The fact that their maids and drivers mean more than elections and freedom of speech tells you a bit about the priorities I guess.
Marahm: Saudis and Arabs continue to use tissues for all purposes such as the nose, as a napkin and many also grab some on their way to the washroom. In fact, I often have to remind family members who are helping me to place napkins at my table (at each place setting) instead of several boxes of tissues on the table. I’m sure you can imagine my horror when I found my MIL’s housemaid in her effort to help out using my exquisite cloth napkins as dusting cloths!! I had to explain to her what their true function was.
Manal: They may not use tissues always when going to the washroom but they do seem to wash thoroughly. I cannot enter most washrooms (including within residences) without rolling up my pants and wearing shoes.
Abu Sinan: If one is not born into a country with freedom of speech and elections then one does not know what is being missed. But if you attempt to change something that is part of the culture and lifestyle there will certainly be a strong resistence.
OMG Carol, the cloth napkin story is so funny. I also have this issue (tissue issue) about kleenex boxes all over my nice wood dining table!
My children are trained though. And what is up with the kleenex box in the back window of the car? That just hit me reading your article.
I agree totally with Manal, it’s totally about you being a clean person. My girls are studying in the US (no maids of course) and keep the apt immaculate. My sons are total neat freaks too and complain the maid does not clean to their liking in any case.
This kleenex article was pretty funny! Don’t you love the kleenex for colds? So soft…
I am a firm believer of having tissues in the car as well as the house!
i’m extremely picky when it comes to the brand of tissue i buy here in KSA. It seems that all brands of tissues have a terrible smell here. (except for kleenex) I have now idea why this is.
I never noticed a smell but then again, I also buy kleenex brand.
Wait, people come to your house and leave used snot-rags on your floors!? I cant’ imagine any culture would call this acceptable.
Well, except, apparently, the Bedouin (Marahm’s comment) Those silly desert people… /shakes head with exasperation
Kids can be forgiven….but older than that they need to be reprimanded in my book.
Reuters decided to pick up this post:
http://www.reuters.com/article/blogBurst/science?bbPostId=CzCso0daZ4bnXBEZgr4vZTMqJCzC7U8hvtW8HvCz1gkueFcfpvU
OMG – I went to high school in Germany and if you litter there at all a passerby will give you a piece of his or her mind.
Here in Los Angeles, people will just scowl at you except if you throw a lit cigarette out the car window. Then you’ll get yelled at.
I can’t even imagine what I’d do if someone threw used tissues or other garbage on the floor of my house.
I’d probably let loose with some extremely high volume profanity.
I am sorry to say that leaving loose tissues around everywhere (inside and outside of homes) as well as other trash does seem to be all too common.
[...] An extreme example of this same attitude was confirmed by a boy I know who came from Saudi Arabia. I had read on the blog American Bedu (written by a former American diplomat, now living in Saudi Arabia, and married to a Saudi) that many people there blow their noses on kleenexes, and then drop them on the floor, wherever they are, for the maid or servant to pick up! I asked the boy I know if this were true, and he confirmed to me that it was. You can see American Bedu’s post on Issues with Tissues here. [...]