When I worked in Asia I came across many Arabs who had mesfaar marriages, or travel marriages, meaning while on business travels they would find underaged girls (I saw this in Mumbai a lot) and “marry” them just for a weekend to exploit them sexually, and then throw them aside. It was extremely common. These girls were not familiar with mesfaar as their own community did not have this practice. It destroyed their lives, however, since divorce was completely unacceptable to their community. These women were then left to a life of prostitution having no other options to care for themselves as they were shunned.

Polygamy is not uncommon in Saudi Arabia. Once one lives in the Kingdom it does not take long to encounter individuals who are practicing polygamy.

I think polygamy is decreasing with the younger generation but then again, who knows as they get older.

I can only speak in generalities about other Arab or predominantly Muslim countries. The bottom line is that if one is Muslim, polygamy is not only viewed as the right of a man but it is Islamically legal.

As a non-Saudi (well non-Arab for that matter) Muslim could you tell me how common polygamy is in KSA/other Arab countries?

Actually, the Qur’an says to prevent “your daughters” (i.e. women) from marrying “idolaters”. Jews and Christians are Ahl al Kitab and not idolaters. Therefore, the Qur’an allows Muslims to marry Jews and Christians/monotheists.

You should heed AB’s words. Take it from a Saudi, that a good number of these relationships are tough, require a great deal of compromise on both sides, and a great deal of trust. You and you alone can gauge your relationship, it is important to establish if you are both on the same wavelength. Relationships are hard enough as it is, a relationship with someone from a foreign culture makes it much more difficult. You’ve got a plethora of resources, and a good one is this website as well, it’ll give you a starting point to know if he’s serious or not. You obviously are invested in it, but when he’s done with his studies, would he be willing to relocate for you just as you did for him?

I’m glad that you are now more informed about the Saudi marriage approval process and restrictions which pertain to Saudi students. Every Saudi student on a government sponsored scholarship receives information about rules and regulations pertaining to the scholarship to include a relationship with a non-Saudi. A lot of Saudi students tend to ignore the regulations and do have a relationship with a non-Saudi. They may tell the woman how much they love them and wish to marry but have no intent of doing so.

You may find this post helpful:

http://americanbedu.com/2011/06/06/saudi-arabia-how-do-you-know-if-your-saudi-is-serious/

I do not want to paint a totally negative picture of Saudi students but do want to ensure that the facts pertaining to relationships and restrictions are known.

Best Regards, Carol

Unless he or his family has major WASTA (influence) the outlook for the two of you is not a bright one. He has committed himself to a career which has stringent requirements to include non-marriage to a foreigner.

You mention you are still a student. The one thing I’d suggest is once you’ve finished University you might consider seeking a job in the Kingdom. This would give you exposure and experience to life there.

However, give yourself a lot of time and soul searching before you choose to convert to another faith. Make sure your decision is based on the right reasons such as committing yourself to a faith which you believe is right and not because your Saudi is Muslim.

-Mama Bedu

Firstly, i was born here UK, i’m female, 24years.
December 2010 i met the love of my life. Cant begin to describe how life has been since he’s been around, we’re like hand & glove. The most patient, loyal, honest, caring, understanding guy i’ve EVER known. Despite our mistake, he’s really a VERY good muslim. & it opened my eyes to life. I’m now after reading/studying a lot, ready to convert to Islam…. I can honestly say Islam has changed my whole life.
My only problem– He was sent here to U.K by SAUDI AIR FORCE to study (aircraft engineer from Riyadh but he’s based in Taif)
A very innocent boy at heart, we knew we were doing wrong- just couldnt stop seeing each other. But from day 1, he was so honest/open & explained his impossible situation to me. I’ve had endless tears from him. Wishing he never signed that contract. Regrets. I feel very sad for us both.

It’s been 11months, we’ve been everywhere together but in July he got sent back to Taif. That was worst thing i’ve ever gone through in my life. Not knowing when we’ll see each other again. But he was sent back here again last friday al hamdullah!!!
We had a great weekend reuniting but there’s a mood that comes over us as if someone has died, he’s crying wanting us to be married. I feel the same. But his hands are tied!!!
I believe his contract is 8-15years i’m unsure but he’s put money into a family home & being 24, saudi air force is his only qualifications— & certainly will be after 8years. Which means even if he did manage to get out after 8years, he’d have nothing to show for it.

I’ve been willing to wait for him, but i’m aware it sounds ridiculous. 8years a lot can happen. Im not so worried about him getting married. He said it will be a long time before that happens. His 2 older brothers a 30, 32 i think, but they’re not yet married. He also says his family are no issue for us, as his mom just recently mentioned an example like ours to him out the blue, about a distant neighbour who married a foreign girl & how wonderful it was that she’d moved there, they’d married & she’d converted…. My guy held his tongue as he’s like that anyway but we agreed not to tell families until we can find any kind of chance to stay together….My dad is not disimilar to an arab, he’s very strict (perhaps it’s the roots that go back on his mother’s side) but i certainly havent broke the news & dont intend to until there’s some hope for us

So anyway i’ve just left it in God’s hands…. But we had words last night. My mood has been very tense. He’s noticed my changes. It’s because in back of my mind, i know he leaves again the end of this November. It’s hurting us both. Massively. He’s such a good guy & i’m a good girl it just feels so unfair ((((
So… We pretty much ended it last night.
Today i cant stop crying. Couldnt even go to work. Cant eat. And i can see by his laptop being on he hasnt been able to go to work today either…..

Does anybody have any ideas??? Any loopholes??? answers?? Ways to be together? Please help!!! But be gentle!!

Thanks everyone !!