Probably one of the most frequent and common emails I may receive privately from readers of my blog are about Saudi students. Usually a woman from the host country in which the student is studying has met and become involved with the Saudi student. In many cases the student marries the woman while he is outside of the Kingdom. When it is near time for him to return to the Kingdom he will seek permission and initiate paperwork to return with his new foreign wife…except the majority of the time the permission is denied. The woman will email me asking for advice and information.
What I am going to write in this post may not be what many of these women want to hear but rather what they need to know. Saudi students (male and female) who are studying outside the Kingdom on a government funded scholarship are very clearly advised on the rules and regulations which pertain to their scholarship. When they depart the Kingdom there should be no doubt in their minds on what is or not allowable. On the issue of marriage, Saudi students on government scholarships are prohibited from marrying non-Saudis. Marrying a non-Saudi without the approval of the government can result in the revoking the scholarship and the student unceremoniously returning to the Kingdom.
Many of these young men in these situations do choose to ignore the rules and regulations will likely tell the foreign woman (if she is even aware of the rules) is that “they do not apply to me as I am not a government employee or work for one of the government organizations which prohibits marriage to foreigners.” Or they may so, “don’t worry, I have WASTA or family who will ‘fix it’ for us so we’ll get the approval.”
In many cases the Saudi student may very well have to return to the Kingdom leaving behind his foreign wife and sometimes children as well.
Just to reiterate, Saudi men under the age of 35, Saudi students on government scholarships outside of the Kingdom and Saudi nationals who work for the Ministry of Interior, Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Ministry of Defense, Intelligence Services, National Guard and armed services are prohibited from marrying foreigners. Yes; exceptions have and do occur but these are the MINORITY and certainly not a majority.
It pains me to receive the emails from foreign wives who have been left behind. The pain, frustration and sadness in their words come through loud and clear as well as the love they have for their Saudi husband. It bothers me that so few of these Saudi students failed to fully explain (if at all) to their foreign wife about the regulations and restrictions they faced.
So what is my analysis on why I think this is a recurring scenario? I wonder if in part these circumstances are impacted by the cultural beliefs on both sides. The Saudi travels outside of the Kingdom for education and usually to a more open-minded country where there are more freedoms and fewer restrictions on mixing. The women from these countries are accustomed to a culture of dating. A romance develops quickly and passionately between the couple. However with the strong cultural and religious beliefs of the Saudi, he may be more likely to segue to marriage rather than a continuing romance. Naturally the woman is pleased, honored, flattered and believes her dreams have come true. So they do marry. Oftentimes it is an Islamic ceremony and/or a civil ceremony in the courts of the respective country. The Saudi side of the family is probably not present at the wedding. That should also be a BIG CLUE that something may be amiss. Weddings and families are of utmost importance in the Kingdom. A mother, father, brothers, sisters and extended family members take it for granted they will be part of the marriage plans and celebrations.
Does the Saudi student feel any guilt or consciousness by his actions in marrying without the approval? Does he show fear, nervousness or trepidation that he will likely have to leave his wife and maybe children behind? And once he has departed, how regularly does the wife hear from him? How does he continue to support her? Did he even tell the foreign wife that under the customs and culture of the Kingdom and Islam, he should be fully supporting her, providing her with a home, dowry, clothing her, meeting her needs for food, medical care, etc? That she should only work if she chooses to; that it is his duty to care for her?
I’ll close this post with some thoughts for any woman who may find herself in a similar type of situation. Try to learn as much as you can about the Saudi student and his family. What is the status and parameters of his scholarship? If he is on a government sponsored scholarship – be careful! I realize any woman will want to trust the man whom she dreams of marrying but do not rely solely on him to learn about the Kingdom and its customs. And, Saudi men can be very private and are masters at having multiple lives which they can compartment with ease.
Filed under: America, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, culture, gender, islam, politics, relationships, religion, travel
Very well said! My advice would be: Refuse to marry a Saudi until you manage to be in contact with his parents or immediate family members (phone, letters, video conferences, person to person if they are able to come to the US, etc.) If your-husband-to-be hesitates, or claims that this step should happen later, take a strong stand against proceding with marriage procedure until it happens. IF a Saudi man’s family is okay with him marrying a foreigner, everything else -in my belief- is much easier. He will be respectful of you now and forever. IF a Saudi man’s family is not okay and needs to be convinced or if it is NOT convinced, there’s so much risk for now and forever after.
Sorry (if they are able to come to the US) = (if they are able to come to YOUR country)
Aysha, thanks so much for responding. I write what I know as a Westerner but it is so much better to get additional insights and advice from Saudis.
Best Regards,
Carol
Wow i didn’t know thing is this bad i know we’r strict rule about foreigns i didn’t know it was that bad
Carol,
Excellent article. I think Saudi/American relationships for students rarely succeed in the long term. There are just too many issues that put pressures on these relations:
- Saudi Laws are very restrictive. I think Carol covered this well.
- Families in most cases do not accept these marriages and/or relationships.
- Let’s say you pass the above hurdles then you have to deal with society. Life in Saudi is much different for women than any Western can imagine. Yes, you can read the articles and books, but until you have been placed in such environment you will never know if you will be able to adapt.
I am not saying that the relationships do not work completely, but chances are against it. It takes a lot of maturity from both sides to make the right sacrifices and work through these pressures.
Carol also brings up the issue of children. I highly recommend that you delay the decision on having kids until you have some assurances that the relationship will work in the long term. Custody and child support issues in these marriages almost never have a good outcome. The kids will surely end up losing regular access to one of the parents because of distance.
Something alot of women who start relationships with arabs in the states(or anywhere outside his country) dont know is that…the guy you fell in love with in your country will not be the same guy that greets you at the airport in his country. If your able to mak the plane trip over together its almost like a split personality the change that comes over them when they are nearing their country. They usually become very formal…don their native dress…and suddenly decide its time to tell you that some of his family might not cotton on to you right away…but be patient and swallow alot of ….and it will eventually pass. It doesnt pass believe me. If they dont accept you from the start…dont expect miracles.
Also…as I said…the guy that maybe partied with you…drank with you…laughed with you and held your hand…introduced you to all his friends and let you join in all the conversations etc…will suddenly disappear and you will wonder where the hell he went and who is this guy standing in front of you. Believe me….Ive seen it happen…had it happen to me.(except for the drinking part…he drank…i didnt).
Just wanted to throw those out there…women need to be informed and not give up their lives and throw it all away just cause they are in love….love is great for short term…when dealing with a foreign culture and all its difficulties…love just aint enough.
This is, at it’s root, both a cultural and a religious issues. Religious euthorities in Saudi have sometimes ruled that it is okay to take a foreign wife when living or traveling abroad.
To a certain extent I view these women almost in the same light as the “comfort women” during WW2. They are meant to be used, in a “halal” manner, but they are granted little or no rights.
Often there is no intention to bring the woman back to Saudi, that would negate her role in the first place, as a temporary “halal” to keep the man from fornication.
Certainly this isnt always the case, but incidents of adult Saudi males, not just on the scholarship, getting married and creating families only to leave them later are all too common. Some religious leaders have compounded the problem by ruling that the man owes these women and their children nothing when it is time for them to leave.
The whole situation is unfortunate. On the part of the man I feel it is haram on many fronts, the least of which is the initial lie itself. On the part of the religious figures it is wrong to rule that is okay to create families and then walk away from them.
From the government side it is haram to say that someone cannot marry a foreigner when God/Islam/Sunnah has no issue with the marriage of foreigners.
Of course I am not impartial, as I am suffering because of the unjust rules concerning marriage to foriegners.
We should also remind everyone that all of the above rules DO NOT APPLY if you know the right people, have the right name, or come from the right tribe. There are some people to whom the laws just do not apply, across the board.
Wow! I had no idea that there was a law forbidding certain Saudis from marrying foreigners. Do you have any idea why these rules are in place? How do they apply if the Saudi doesn’t live in the Kingdom…can they still return for holidays etc?
Although most of what you said is true, you followed a more pessimistic side to the story and failed to discuss the positive nature of these marriages. Most don’t work, but some do.
N.
The choice of : “the yes to the minority and no to the majority” is an interesting cultural exhibit. Exceptions make rules exceptional.
_Aysha, well said. The man’s parents must know about his interest to marry a foreigner, and he must have their agreement. From the girl/woman part, she shouldn’t give it even a thought if his parents don’t know. She is cheapening herself, in my opinion, to accept to marry someone who doesn’t tell his family about her. I know in some places in the west it’s OK to marry without telling the parents. The culture is different in the Arabic countries. Family is an important part when it comes to marriage. Therefore, the non-Arabs who want to marry a man from anywhere in the Arabic regions, has to be familiar with the customs and traditions — of course there are some differences even among the Arabic countries, yet the family always remains as an important part.
_Abu Sinan said:
“Some religious leaders have compounded the problem by ruling that the man owes these women and their children nothing when it is time for them to leave.”
For sure, no renowned Islamic scholar will say such nonsense because what you are saying is totally against the Islamic core belief in marriage. Hence, could you please let us know who are those, “Some religious leaders”, you are quoting?
_Arima this law is only for Saudi students who are in a scholarship from the Saudi government. however, if the student in a scholarship wants to marry, he should get a document with the permission of marrying the non-Saudi wife. Actually I’ve read the statement from the Ministry of High Education, and it clearly states, “if the wife is non-Saudi, the student should submit the marriage certificate along with the other documents (letter of acceptance from the univ, a copy of the passport, a letter from the graduate / undergraduate adviser, a copy of the entry stamp to the country etc.)
I know a Saudi Guy who is married to a Canadian (he is not in a scholarship though). One who is married to a Korean and he has the permission. Most of the Saudi students I’ve met are studying English at the ELC, and not yet started univ. I guess such student never consider marrying because simply they don’t know the language well. they cannot start a conversation let alone to know about the rules and regulation of marrying in a foreign country. I guess, most students who consider to marry in the country they are pursuing study in, are mature students — (students who are living in the country for many years).
Carol,
Hi, thank you for posting this topic. Indeed it is a very useful information.
TQ
Khaled,
You have never heard of “mesfaar marriage”? Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi has given support of such marriages.
Fatwas about “travel marriages” and urfi marriages, amoungst others. Maybe you dont read Arabic, in this case in English, news?
http://asharqalawsat.com/english/news.asp?section=2&id=8682
Anyway, there are many religious scholars who support urfi, “emergency” and “travel” marriages.
I find it interesting, however, that they usually only support them for the men. Misyar marriage, that is a marriage with the intended end in divorce, has been supported by the likes of bin Baz. It doesnt get much bigger than that.
You speak Arabic right? I am sure it would be much easier for you to find this stuff searching in Arabic, as much of it is not in English.
I live in KSA, I was born in KSA, I studied in Saudi schools, I took my univ degree from KSA, so all of my life I’m living in an Arabic speaking country, yet I’ve never heard of “mesfaar marriage”. All the sheiks and teachers who taught me “fiqh” never mentioned such illegitimate thing (I don’t consider it marriage, so I said thing). I weekly attend the Friday prayer, I never heard any imam during all these years speaking of “mesfaar marriage”. I’m wondering, since it’s popular as you say, and many religious scholars support it, why it’s not heard of!
Interesting, “urfi marriages” is acceptable! I heard more than 10 Islamic scholars who say that it’s forbidden. The first time I hear it’s acceptable was when I read your comment, 10 minutes ago.
This is the beauty of Islam: Ask your heart “estafti qalbak” If you know that something is not acceptable in Islam, it should remain unacceptable whether a “religious scholar” support it or not.
I agree with some of Abu Sinan’s comments. Furthurmore, misyar and urfi marriages are becoming common in Kuwait as well. Don’t get me started on this topic–
I have several opinions on Saudi or any Khaleeji/Gulf men who marry Western women while studying. I’ve witnessed far too many women left behind, and often with children. These men knew beforehand regardless of their Govt’s stand, their families would never accept the marriages.
Kuwaiti men have left behind many children in the U.S. many who do not bother to support or stay in contact with the children.
It’s up to these women to not get involved with these men, or do some serious research before they do. I put blame on the women as well.
Also, on misyar, I didn’t realize Bin Baz supported this more than silly practice. It’s secretive, therefore making it unacceptable in Islam.
Abu Sinan I’ve just called a Saudi friend of mine who is a 3rd year PhD student in “Om Al Qora” university in Makkah. He has BA and MA in Islamic Studies and he teaches “fiqh” and other courses at the Univ level. He got his MA from “Om Al Qora Univ” too.
I asked him about “mesfaar marriage”, what Islamic scholars say about it. His reply was “la yajooz” is not permissible, illegitimate.
Many thanks Abu Sinan, it was so enlightening. I wasn’t aware of such mess and I wasn’t aware of these new terms entering the Islamic arena.
Khalid,
I agree that some of the alternative methods of marriage are not accepted by the mainstream. However, you have to consider that they become acceptable by the fringe and may be under specific circumstances. A good example of this is urfi marriages are becoming common in Iraq among Shiiat’s, which they justify under the extreme circumstances of war. Similarly a cleric may issue a fatwa to allow it for a student outside the country on a temporary basis. I know most Muslims may not follow such fatwas, but if a person is looking for justification to do something, s/he may find that “designer” fatwa to fit the situation.
I agree that they are haram. I dont argue that I think they are okay, but I do know that some do.
I think most Saudi scholars think Misyar is halal, but I think it is more of a cultural innovation rather than Islamic law, hence it is haram.
Sometimes scholars are as bad as lay people when not being able to tell the difference between culture and religion.
When you have scholars from places like al Azhar saying riba is halal and saying that suckling on your female co-worker’s teet is a way to get around segregation rules then you that a large portion of the scholars out there cannot be trusted.
Whoho, Khaled, It is not at all considered ”okay” to marry without telling your parents , not amongst normal people anyway! In ”the west” I mean. As you are born and living in an Arabic country you have no real personal experience of these things. Media in the middle east are as biased as the ones in the ”west” I suppose.
I have heard of misyaar marriage all the time? even read articles about it. Nice example of innovating religion I think. Weird for that to happen in a country which calls itself the guardian of Islam.
Bedu had a post on it last december I think.
Saudi in US I love the ”designer Fatwa” I’m keeping that one in my vocabulary.
_Saudi in US
“a cleric may issue a fatwa to allow it for a student”
True, so such fatwa’s are given under certain circumstances for certain people that we are not aware of. Since the mainstream don’t have similar circumstances, we cannot say it’s publicly acceptable.
Drinking alcohol is acceptable under certain circumstances for Muslims. If a Islamic scholar said to a person there is no problem for you to drink alcohol, does that mean that this scholar said “drinking alcohol is permitted in Islam”? of course not.
This would be a problem in us if we go on following such fatwas.
AbuSinan trust only those whom you find trustworthy. And if you trust no one, then trust yourself. Anyone who has the knoledge can be the Sheikh of him/herself. What is “halal” is known , and what is “haram” is known for most people. There is no need for blabbering since we know what the right things are.
You are not the only one who don’t like ‘fatawa; Sheikh Al-Azhar. Even the Azhar scholars who are consider to be under him (he is called sheikh Al-Azhar, isn’t he?) don’t like his fatwas. And they reject and disprove his fatwas. I guess that the Egyptian gov like him, and that’s why he kept having (the title: sheikh Al-Azhar) for many many years. I heard though that he has been fired after this funny fatwa you mentioned.
LOL, Aafke I’m not in An Arabic country, and unfortunately I don’t follow Arabic media
. I rarely watch TV, and if I watch the news, I watch either CNN or CBC. LOL , yeah, I watch ESPN more often than the rest 
.
I know it’s not normal, but what I meant, sometimes it’s not as important as in the ME.
Last month a graduate student here got married. She invited us. Some of the invitees were from the golf regions (about 6 students they were ). Guess what? her parents didn’t attend because it was snowing. Most of her friends didn’t come and they apologized because of the weather. All the Arab students attended though. I honestly, felt sorry for her cause half of the tables were empty. But it seems she really didn’t care, she really enjoyed her time , and didn’t mention her parents at all. Usually wedding is a big event in the ME. I liked the restaurant idea, I’m going to do my wedding in a restaurant (provided my sweet fiancee accept)
P.S. some of the Ar Students didn’t have a car so they took the buss.
Khalid,
“This would be a problem in us if we go on following such fatwas.”
True statement. And we have that problem
Just look at Iraq and you see the impact of Fatwas gone a stray, where groups justify killing non-combatants based on the fatwa of the day. Yes, not the majority accept such fatwas, but the impact is significant.
sorry, I mean, right now I’m not in an Arabic Country. — I just thought that what I said maybe is understood as I never lived in an Arabic country. plz forgive me for typos cause I’m fully dedicating my brain to my books
. I try to sneak though whenever I have break, to read a post or two 
-.
I really feel sorry about what is happening in Iraq. I believe , nothing but Chaos is ruling them.. It’s pandemonium and nothing else what is happening in Iraq.
I’m Saudi, and I didn’t know that Saudis (male and female) are allowed to marry non-Saudis at all.
[Note to self: Making it EXTREMELY difficult legalwise makes it forbidden].
I thought that my choices were limited either spinsterhood or marrying Saudi brethrens.I got my information in the Saudi Embassy here in Jakarta. Now, where does it say that I can have a non-Saudi husband?
Hning,
You can marry a non Saudi, the authorities just make it hard to get it recognised. There are many out there who have gotten married to foreigners.
My oldest sister in law married an Egyptian and she lives and works in Jeddah. She got her marriage recognised with the help of wasta from my late father in law.
Most Saudi women who marry non Saudis live outside of Saudi to make things easier. Here in the Metro DC area we know of three Saudi female-Western men couples. Two are still waiting for permission, the other couple have big wasta and actually got married in Saudi, with permission granted by the MoI.
My wife and I are still working on getting ours recognised, some five years after we were married. Now we have two boys together, still working on it. As a matter of fact I get to head to the Saudi Embassy here next week to have copies made of some documents. Fun.
On my blog I have had many Saudi women contact me about marrying non Saudis. Most find the family the hardest thing because they dont care about the government, they dont plan to live in Saudi anymore anyway.
If you dont care about the government recognition it isnt a big deal.
Thank you everyone for the comments and the dialogue. Please do keep it coming.
Because the odds are so much greater of a marriage between a Saudi student outside of the Kingdom on a government scholarship and a non-Saudi will fail, I wanted to write a post highlighting the official regulations pertaining to such relationships.
Ziff Davis liked this post:
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Khalid; If I was getting married, and my parents couldn’t come, for whatever reason, the marriage would be postponed! Even if last minute. I would be very sorry if some friends wouldn’t be able to attend, (I’d expect some pretty good reasons! Like being in hospital with broken bones! Not weather!) but if my parents were unable to come I would be too upset for words. The people you mention sound very unusual to me, and defenitely not the norm for my aquaintance.
I stumbled upon your site by chance… and followed the discussions. I am not from Saudi neither from the West.. I am from Asia. I might also be a hassle if I am to marry a foreigner with the paperwork and stuff… i guess the only basic problem lies in the faith of both person that is about to marry… Islam is a way of life and whatever culture or tradition you have… it doesnt matter. If you embrace as your way of life trully, then there will not be an issue of leading a double life. Just a personal comment and not intended to be rude.
Thanks for your comment hjhmaria. Yes; it is no surprise to learn that other countries will also have their own unique regulations as well.
In regards to Islam and marriage, I do wish to point out so other readers who may not be aware realize that one does not have to be muslim to marry another muslim.
delhi4cats, I know a few and have heard of plenty more muslims marrying non-muslims…
I should mention, they just marry in a non-islamic country.
Ryan,
For the most part (greater than 90 per cent I’d guess) muslims who marry non-muslims due so in a predominantly non-islamic country. Although that being said since I have been in the Kingdom I am aware of a few (and underscore few) cases where a non-Muslim has married a muslim here.
Carol,
You wrote:
“I do wish to point out so other readers who may not be aware realize that one does not have to be muslim to marry another muslim.”
I think you need to specify that under Islamic law only a man can marry a non Muslim. In that case, the women must be a woman “of the book”, either Christian or Jewish. Islamic law would not allow a Muslim man to marry a Hindu or an animist woman, for example.
Muslim women are required to marry Muslim men.
Good points, Abu Sinan.
The comments are interesting, but lacking in one area. The couple usually never intend to fall in love. From all of the couples I have met over the years, they are usually just friends to begin with, and then become a couple later down the road. By the time all of the information is available to the woman, she is head over heels in love with the guy and will follow him to the ends of the earth. Almost all of the students told the same story to the women they met…that they were going back to their country for only 2 years, and then they would move back to the states. Ahhhhh, but I can tell you, THAT rarely happens. I truly think that the guys mean well, but the social pressure from their family is just too strong.
this has been quite an interesting topic to read up on…i stumbled across it via jewaira’s blogspot…anyway, in regards to scholarship students, does the prohibition of marriage to a foreigner apply to kuwaiti students as well? or is it just saudis?
Welcome flipamerican! I don’t know if the restrictions apply to Kuwaiti students as well. I’m sorry…maybe someone else may be able to answer?
Thank you so much for all these information. My father warned me about saudis and their rules on foreigner marriage but I did not believe it. My boy asked me to consider marriage to the point of trying to convert me. I was introduced only to his father , sister and brothers. Not his mom tho. Apparently she wants him to marry her niece. He was insistent on meeting my parents but my father said no. I guess father knows best after all. I m now trying to end it with him . Thank you so much. I would have made a bigger mistake otherwise.
Fg,
I’m glad you have found the information useful. However I think it is positive that the young man did introduce you to his father, sister and brothers and that he did want to meet your parents as well. I wish you all the best.
Thanks Carol. Appreciate your well wishes.
Dear Carol, im so glad that i have found your blog cos i think it is very interesting and informative..this particular article is extremely helpfull for me (im being involved with a saudi student and im trying to find out as much as i can about this topic)..however, i didnt understand everything and i have few questions.. does saudi government revoke scholarship if a saudi student marries a foreign woman in the country he studies but without legalization it in saudi arabia? im asking this cos u wrote that saudi men often leave their families..so does it mean that they actually marry (legally those women?)
im looking forward for your answer
Welcome Irina!
I will try to answer your question as I understand it.
If a Saudi student is studying abroad on a government sponsored scholarship his scholarship can be revoked and he will be ordered to return to KSA if he marries a foreign woman while studying as a student.
I’m not sure what you mean on whether the Saudi legally marries these women. It really depends on what kind of marriage they have had such as Islamic or civil. An Islamic marriage should have two witnesses, a wali (kind of like a guardian) for the woman and of course the officiating sheik. The couple should also receive a certificate of marriage which if in America would be in English and Arabic.
A civil marriage of course is one where a marriage license is applied for and then the marriage ceremony takes place in the court house, home, church or other location. That marriage is also recorded in state/county records.
However while the two types of marriages as described above are legal (pending the student does not already have a wife back in KSA since civil marriages in the USA do not recognize more than one wife) separate approval is required by the government of Saudi Arabia for recognition of the marriage in KSA. Until such approval has been received, the wife cannot travel to the Kingdom under her husband’s sponsorship or live with him in the Kingdom as his wife.
Some (I don’t know exactly how many) Saudi men have chosen to remain in the United States or another third country in order to be with their foreign wife. They may have chosen this option as they do not want to take their wife to KSA, cannot get approval to take their wife to KSA or simply decided they don’t want to go back to KSA and live.
I hope this has answered your queries efficiently.
Regards, Bedu
Dear Carol,
i really appreciate your very fast answer..i didnt expect to recieve it so soon..im sorry that my last question wasnt clear enough..from your article i understood that saudi goverment revokes scholarship of saudi students in case they marry foreigns, however, u also wrote that some students ignore this rule and make families..i want to ask how do they manage to marry foreiners recieveing scholarship and not being deported after that? is it a civil or/and islamic marrige?
@Irina – some students do ignore the regulations but eventually the regs catch up to them. Basically they usually marry (Islamically) secretly (not informing anyone from Saudi Arabia) but then when their schooling comes to an end, they must return to KSA. And of course if they have not applied for approval, their wife (and any children) are left behind. The student will usually make many promises to get the approval once he returns to Saudi. Sometimes this does happen. Many times however the woman is left behind in limbo hearing less and less from her Saudi husband.
I am dating a Saudi, and I guess things are going okay. I am aware about these rules. But he kept convincing me that everything is going to be okay.
It is true isnt it? You need to be 32 yrs and above for you to apply to marry a foreigner?
Oh gosh! What have I got myself into…
Lisa,
Welcome and thank you for sharing. Many Saudis will indeed say very convincingly that everything will be okay. I”m sure in their hearts that is what they believe. But they do need to know what will be required and expected in order to have that future.
Best of luck to you.
[...] to which a woman is entitled. A high percentage of Saudi men will go outside the Kingdom as students or for employment. They are exposed to differing lifestyles and cultures. Many will gradually [...]
I must say finding AmericanBedu and reading these posts have forces me to reality… im from Indiana ..and have been dating (which i know to be haram for him) a Saudi government scholarship student who i know plans to return home after school for 6 months now .. Marriage is in the far future for me but ..i truly love him and hope for a life time future with him..i know in my heart i couldn’t marry him with out first visiting KSA and meeting/ getting approve from his family!! I know for this to work its going to be very challenging and i want to do things right!! im not a religious person but have faith in God ..so as to my religion i was raised as a christian but not sure its for me… im open and still searching! Before meeting him or reading this site i had very little knowledge of the ME or Islamic belief ..I’v met his saudi friends and a few cousins but im a secret to his family.. and being the person i am this bothers me…. im beginning to feel that its make or break time..hes moving to Florida very soon and wants me to go with him..which i really want to but….. i dont want to end up hurt in the long run… i know he loves me but is love enough ..i guess i have my doubts from reading alot of negative.. and from knowing that saudi way of life is very different from the usa… can some give me a positive opinion or hope!?!?!
@BloU
First of all, welcome to the blog!
My word of encouragement is that if he will inform his family in Saudi (mother, sisters, father) that he has met you, then that is a positive sign and indication of positive intentions.
Unless you wish to take a job opportunity in Saudi, it will be difficult as a single female to simply come to Saudi since a sponsor is required. He could not sponsor you since you are not related. But I agree having time in his country before is a wise move since the life is very different from America!
You have some tough decisions of the heart to make. As a government sponsored student he is technically prohibited from a relationship with a foreign woman but it is known that it does happen. However if he fears at any point his scholarship could be in jeopardy he’d probably choose the scholarship than face shame and loss of face for himself and his family.
It won’t be easy but with the right connection anything is possible. Best of luck to you!
those ppl in the picture are my friends in school ….how a small life !
Amazing! It is indeed a small life!
[...] Al-’Abikan has issued a fatwa banning (yes, you read that right, banning) Saudi men from marrying foreign women in the Kingdom. He does add that the marriage can only be done with a permit but again, that is [...]