When a non-muslim woman converts to Islam, many times she is asked or will choose to change her name. This name is usually reflective of her new choice of religion and I have heard that in many cases, she believes the name to be reflective of her personality as well. Some female converts to Islam will start being known by two names. They will retain their given birth name and also take a muslim name.
For example, a woman named Mary Ann or Mary may choose the muslim name Miriam or Sally will choose Sara or Michelle may choose Mesheal to retain a semblance of their birth name. It seems among the most popular names converts choose are Aisha and Khadija as these are both names of revered wives of the Prophet (PBUH). However there are thousands of muslim names one can choose from which include Fatima, Latifa, Hanan, Wafa, Badriyah, Amal, Munirah, Marahm, Hanna just to name a brief few.
This web link for example provides female muslim names and their meanings: http://ww.islamfortoday.com/female_names.htm and this site also provides good detail about both male and female names: http://www.yanabi.com/activeweb.cfm?a_id=1086
A question I have though is it right and appropriate for a woman (or anyone for that matter) to change the name that their parents gave them? I know that my parents gave thought and consideration into why they chose the name for me that they chose and I did the same with my own child.
This link explains how to choose a good muslim name: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503543918
And in answer to my own questions, this link responds to whether or not a new convert should change his or her name:
Filed under: culture, gender, islam, religion, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Uncategorized
When I was growing up, I thought Carol was a rather dull and boring name. (Sorry, but it’s my name too.) Then when I reverted to Islam, I abandoned the beliefs, dress and lifestyle of my family, but I did that because I had a strong conviction that it was the right thing to do. Even though I had an “excuse” to change my common name, I decided not to do it to avoid hurting my parents’ feelings. And then I moved over seas, and now I have the exotic and cool name I always wanted! (Carol is now a very cool name because of the Arabic singer with that name.)
Thanks for sharing!
In my understanding it is not obligatory or even recommended that a convert/revert change their name unless their birth name is explicitly non Islamic (such as sporting the name Christian or Christina, or Shiv/Parvati, you get the drift).
People often confuse Islamic names with Arabic names. Just because it’s Arabic doesn’t make it any better or any more Islamic. I think that’s something that should be stressed with all converts.
When I converted, I was asked, “What name do you wish to choose?” and I said, “I want to keep my original name.”
The Saudi man writing the certificate said, “Maryam!” and I did not object, but I was not happy, either. My birth name, Marie, gets slaughtered by Arabic speakers. It invariably comes out as “Merry” with a heavily accented first syllable, which I detest, and reminds one of Merry Christmas.
When I acquired a step-daughter named Maryam, I was even more discontent, but by that time I was known as Maryam.
Finally, after coming to the States, I am happy to call myself Marahm, in Arabic circles. My daughter Maryam is pleased, too.
I do not hesitate to say, however, that I use my birth name for all other communication. I simply hate to be called “Merry”.
I knew a “Carol” who changed her name because it refers to the songs of Christmas– Christmas carols.
Some female converts are proud and insistent to choose as Islamic name for themselves, but I’ve always sensed an element of fraud in the custom. I’ve always wanted to know, “OK, what’s your REAL name?” and yes, I know my reaction is somehow sacreligious, but it is what is it is.
Commenter Maya beat me to the punch, on both points.
When I first arrived in KSA, (early 80′s) we used to have gatherings of western women married to Saudis. We were as different as fingers on a hand…but we were all here far away from our families, so we were more willing to try a bit more to make friends. There was only one channel on t.v. with one hour of English, so the days were long.
One night, at one of those meetings, I met a gal that introduced herself as Khadeeja to me and my English friend. As I was Christian at the time, it was only natural for me to ask her about her real name and her new-found religion.
She answered, ‘Khadijja IS my real name!’
So, I said, ‘Yes, but what was your name before you converted?’
“I don’t remember,’ she replied. Hmmm, I thought, that’s strange…where did they find this person that doesn’t remember her own name?
So, not to give up too easily, I asked her, ‘Well, where are you from?’
….Simple enough question to answer, right…not too intrusive?
‘Well, I don’t like to think or talk about that part of my life anymore.’ was her reply!!! My friend and I just gave up on her at that point and walked away shaking our heads. Perhaps she had a hard life,?? … All I know is that she was the first ‘extremist’ I met here. Thank God, I can truthfully tell you that I never met another woman quite like her again. Thank God, I didn’t let it hurt my quest to understand Islam….it just delayed it a bit. Many of us non muslims (at the time) avoided the ‘religious group’ after that. They started having their meetings and we had ours. What could have been an excellent introduction to Islam, was lost at that moment.
By the way, I never changed my name for that exact reason.
It is the same in my country and really I don’t know that is it necessary to change the name or not? I myself think that it isn’t.
I’ve had a few individuals ask me what muslim name I liked and rather than get drawn in to that discussion, I usually reply I like the name my parents gave me!
I didn’t like my name much growing up either – too common and too boring! But now I can’t imagine being called anything else. It fits me and now it is not that common anymore either. And coincidentally, it also happens to be Islamic, so it fits in here in Arabia as well. Lucky for me!
The most important name we will ever be given will come from God in eternity – Rev 2:17
Masha’Allah good post and I’m laughing because I thought of this same post but I don’t want to do it because I don’t want to reveal my names yet.
I will say though my name is soemthing haram in Islam and so I get looks everytime my name is said.
The Imam of the first masjid i went to tried to convince me to let him name me which i refused MANY TIMES!!! Hullo I have a mind, to pick a name too! I downloaded a list of names and chose like you said the one that fits my personality. More importantly I chose a name that requires me to live up to my name so it’s a lifelong goal to be as good as my name implies.
So people out there don’t feel angry when the imam’s try to name you just say FIRMLY I’m searching for it on my own and I’ll let you know when i Find one. By the way the name the imam thought of was Marwa for me (which is my niece-in-law’s name so I’m happy i didn’t let him pick it.)
Even if the Imam does pick nice names you should think about it because to be known there-on is a big step and you should be comfortable with what you like.
Some people ask why I don’t change my passport and everything since my name is Haram is because I don’t have the money to get a legal name change and I’ve made peace with my name long ago** and my parents would be saddened. So in USA I’m one name and in Middle East I’m another.
**I never liked my Haram name because the other people with this name usually were permiscuous and always in trouble so besides looking for religion i was looking for a name that fit me better.
Great post and great replies so far
Thanks for sharing your experiences AMW. I never thought about an Imam wanting to choose a name for someone.
Lots of good comments. I am with those who said that one does NOT have to change their name unless it is one that would be unpleasing to God. Other than that you are good to go.
I never changed my name when I converted, I never saw a need to. I only took an Arabic name when I married my wife. There are members of my wife’s family who speak only Arabic and found it hard to say my given name.
The “kunya” I use on-line is kind of the same, given by some members of the family, but not one I use in my normal day to day activities.
I have no problems with people changing their name, but it really annoys me when people get anmesia and try to become something they are not.
Islam does not equal Arabic and Arabic does not equal Islam.
Good points Abu Sinan.
I never wanted to change my name because I was still Donna – just a Muslim Donna. Changing my name made me feel like I was taking on some alias persona. When I first came to the M.E. my husband suggested I pick an Arabic name that would be easier for his family, so I chose Mariam for that reason only, but over the years they realized I did not refer to myself as that, so now they even call me Donna! I really think it is a very personal choice to do this. For some of us, it may help to cement our new found faith, but for others it can be very disconcerting to feel pressured into it.
Haha I love this, very good points. I have recently converted to islam and I’ve decided to go from Bridgette to Bahijah for secral reasons ( and it took me forever to think of!) 1) It has the same meaning as my man’s name which is very good for me as I probably wont take his last name. 2) It’s really pretty to me (it means HAPPY haha) and 3) It has a B and (no really?) and it kind of sounds like my name with an A at the end. Like maybe if I say it really fast… Ok, ok. So it doesn’t ‘really’ sound similar but it has a B and I like that. Anyway! If one gets the opertunity to use both, as my parents won’t call me Bahijah, I think the simularities and meaningfulness behind my two names is good for me!
If someone is coverting and will change their name for whatever reason it isn’t a bad thing, and though our parents took time to name us with meaning, use the same meaning in your new name or keep it similar!
As I have been rereading the comments, while I still believe for myself, I will not change the name my parents gave me, I realize that many of us probably have “nicknames” which in some cases could be similarly viewed as a name change. For example, among family and friends, I am affectionately referred to as “American Bedu.” And of course, I take no objection to that since I know it is said in a positive manner.
Anyways, it is just a thought how nicknames are sanctioned and seem to be given to individuals from all cultures, religions and walks of life.
wow thanks for sharing, i also want to share to you that
if you want to change your name in easy and legal way..
here’s more info and guide:
Married Name Change
Assalamo Alaikum
Names are important for identification in this world but in the world after Alllah Almighty has designated HIS own names for identification-based on ones TAQWA.It is the relation of a Muslim with Allah and Love of the Prophet-sallaho Alaihay wassalam to walk on this path of truth
Hi,
I was born sikh girl and will be become muslim soon and I will marry to my muslim boyfriend is name Mohammed Hafez Saad Saad as I am not sure if I should change my name or keep name and add my boyfriend’s father name is Hafez I mean my name will add new name is Harpreet Kaur Hafez is it right or wrong?
Please let me know
Thanks Harp