In the Nej’d region of Saudi Arabia (which includes Riyadh) there are tribal women who never remove their veil. This is a cultural custom that has been in practice for many generations. Although they come into this world unveiled, once a woman from this tribal region begins her menses, she puts on the veil and it remains on her face until the day of her death. Even when she comes of marriageable age and the marriage is arranged (within the tribe) it is very unlikely that her husband will ever see her unveiled as well. This woman is also unlikely to unveil with her children either.
The only instance of which I am aware in which a woman from this tribal region allowed herself to be unveiled was when she had traveled outside of the region. At that time, when she was only with other women, she chose to remove her veil. Her reasoning was that since she was away from the tribe and no one related to her would see her, it was okay to unveil if she chose to do so. However within the tribe the custom is that a woman’s face should never be shown until the day she dies. The premise being she would leave the world in the same manner as she entered.
The younger generation of women from this region are becoming more liberal in the sense that some may only veil when out among those not within the immediate family circle. They will choose to unveil among the immediate family which certainly includes the husband and children. The older generation of women typically remain loyal to the traditions of the tribe.
As I have been saying all along about Saudi Arabia, it is always contrasts and contradictions.
Filed under: culture, gender, islam, relationships, religion, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, travel, Uncategorized
While veiling in public can be understood, albeit with great effort, veiling twenty-four hours a day is something else. Even if a plausible religious or social reason could be put forth for the practice, the impracticality of it would argue against its continuation. The woman would have to sleep in seclusion, lest her husband or child lift the veil for a glimpse. I’m not being facetious here, just wondering about the logistics of such a custom.
I’d heard of it, but never knew whether it was true or not.
Nearly as unusual is the practice of veiling the entire face except for one eye. I’d seen this only once, in an American family, believe it or not. The women of the group would go out in opaque black ablayas, gloves and socks. One eye would be exposed for vision.
This is a strange tradition even by Saudi standards. It exists in a very small minority of tribes not just in Najed but also in the Aseer region. Even though I am from Saudi, I did not know of this tradition until last year when I saw the following story.
http://www.alarabiya.net/articles/2007/10/08/40103.html
Mahram, Saudi in US – thanks for your comments.
Mahram – I’ve never heard of a practice of veiling only one eye! In regard to the 24/7 veiling, while to us it does indeed sound impractical and cumbersome, I would guess that if we had been born or raised into such a culture it would be a natural part of us. My comment does not mean to imply that I agree with the practice but only wanting to present how this practice can be viewed based on ones perspective and circumstances.
Saudi in US – thank you very much for sharing the informative link.
Very interesting – I have heard about this before.
Re: the veiling one eye, I have heard this interpretation of veiling before (attributed to Ibn Sirin) and it was at one time fairly common in my husband’s home country, Algeria. Women used to to wear a large white, sheet-like covering over the body and hold it to cover the face except for one eye, the sheet is called the ‘hayek’. The older ladies tend to wear the hayek with a small lacey white niqab (ijara) these days so they show both eyes.
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My comment above omitted the quotation from Tafseer I wanted to post:
Tafseer – Commentary by Ibn Jarir and Ahkam-ul-Quran, Vol.III, p.457
Imam Muhammad bin Sirin said: “When I asked Ubaida bin Sufyan bin al-Harith (ra) the meaning of this verse and how the jalbaab was to worn, he demonstrated it to me by pulling a sheet of cloth over his head to cover his entire body, leaving the left eye uncovered. This was also the explanation of the word ‘Alaihinna in this verse”
Thanks Umm Ibrahim for the explanation.
My uncle once told me that a colleague of his told him if his wife passes by him with her face UNVEILED, he won’t be able to recognize her!
What shocks me the most is that he has 5 kids from her!!
I can’t conceive two people can have an intercourse together and yet can’t see each other’s faces!
This may sound bizarre but I have no doubt the woman can be easily recognized by those closest to her without ever having to unveil. Think about it, parents can easily identify their children by the sound of their footsteps and laughter without ever having to see them. And when you think of a man and woman being together intimately, even without seeing her face, he would likely recognize his wife by shape, feel and smell. I’m not trying to defend this practice but trying to apply some logic. In some ways perhaps it would be similar to one who is blind. For example, there are men and women who were born blind yet they go on to lead productive lives, marry and have children.
I agree that a woman is indeed recognizable, even if totally covered. Just look at your friends, sisters or daughters when they are covered. Recognition is not the difficulty, and you are right to point out that if we were born to such customs, they would seem natural. The species homo spaiens sapiens is probably the most creative entity on earth with respect to social customs and taboos. One needs only to study various cultures throughout history, and even currently, to see that this it true.
What do we make of cannibalism? Surely that custom is more repulsive to the majority of humans than twenty-four hour veiling, yet small groups of peoples have existed over the centuries participating in this practice as a normal course of their existence.
One now raises the concept of “normalcy” and whether or not humans have a set of core behaviors that are universally acceptable/unacceptable for all time and circumstance, irrespective of any civilizing influence. I would venture to say no, but I am not a social psychologist.
I have heard of this and can never imagine my husband or children ever seeing my face. I wonder how all this started?
I like your question, Mahram. Although neither of us may be social psychologists, we can all take a stab at being “armchair psychologists” and discuss the concept.
Marianna, that’s also an excellent question. I do not know exactly how it all started. I was speaking with some Saudi women this evening about the subject. They were all aware of certain areas in the Kingdom where the veiling is practiced. Collectively they all said they could not imagine having a husband or children who would not see their face.
I must share this posting which I have extracted from http://muttawa.blogspot.com which is applicable to this thread:
You looking at me?
A comment from a reader suggested that the wording on the Saudi Flag actually translated as “This country may contain nuts”.
How unkind. We may be a little eccentric. Perhaps we have a “unique cultural identity”. Possibly a little “out of sync” with the 21st Century. But nuts?
What the heck, he’s probably right. But there are nuts and there are nuts. Just like peanuts and walnuts and coconuts. So it is in Saudi Arabia.
There are those people in Jeddah. They have a Corniche, so they think they’re living on the Mediterranean. They tend to smile and laugh. You occasionally see couples furtively holding hands. What libertines.
Then there are people like me who live in Riyadh. We’re more proper. No holding hands. Not a lot of smiling either – what is there to smile about in Riyadh?
Then there are the people from Qassim, pronounced Gass-eem. A district centered round Burayda, 200 miles north of Riyadh. Where Wahabbi (who invented our really fun version of Islam) originally came from. Burayda is described in Lonely Planet or the Rough Guide as the “most unfriendly place in Saudi Arabia”. And then some. Remember those old movies about creepy New England towns called Spookyburg or Witchville, where some innocent guy wanders in by mistake, it’s all knee deep in mist and the silent locals just stare and don’t say anything, the guy ends up next morning as a puddle of ectoplasm on the ground? Well Burayda makes those places look like New Orleans. In Mardi Gras.
So the following article doesn’t actually mention Qassim, but there’s nowhere else on this planet that it could be.
STORY OF SAUDIS WHO NEVER SEE THEIR WIVES
Imagine a husband and wife who have lived together as complete strangers for half a century.
Believe it or not, it actually happens here in Saudi Arabia. There are husbands, brothers and sons who have never seen the faces of their own wives, sisters and mothers let alone cousins and aunts. There are wives who never showed their faces to their husbands since they have tied the knot a long or short time ago.
Bear in mind that these husbands will only have seen their wife’s face for about 20 minutes, at their one and only pre-wedding meeting. Since the wedding, they’ve remained veiled for their husbands, and for their children, for years, even for decades.
Children should wonder how their parents managed to conceive them when their fathers never saw their mothers. But that s probably just as well because, like their fathers, they haven t seen what their own mothers look like.
Children should wonder? I’ve always had a little trouble with this concept myself. How do you show affection to someone who’s always veiled, how do you share those little intimacies, how do you procreate? Perhaps there are people who would get a bit of a thrill from making love to a veiled woman, but after a few decades it’s bound to pall. Let’s change the subject.
Some don’t even let other women see their face.
This tradition has been part of my life since the day I opened my eyes on the world, she said. Believe it or not, I have never seen the faces of even my closest female relatives my cousins and aunts.
She said every member of her tribe believes it is a great shame for women to uncover their faces at any time, thus there is no chance for a female face to be seen by anyone.
There was however one situation that struck a chord. Husbands often ask wives how they look. They do it because they’re genuinely wanting an opinion, most males being clueless about what to wear or what matches with what. (And a nice thing about living in the Kingdom (Saudi, not United) is that you always wear white, so life is simple). Wives, on the other hand, are usually seeking reassurance. When asked “What do you think of this dress / hairstyle / outfit”, they already know the answer, they just want the male to confirm it. So you’re faced with a situation where there is only one correct answer and at least ten incorrect ones. “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” or “What do you think” definitely don’t cut it. Similarly any half-hearted response is dismissed as mealy-mouthed; they want a definite opinion. Yet you’re being tested on a subject you know absolutely nothing about. It’s like that nightmare you have, where you’re doing the oral exam for Mandarin Chinese and you haven’t learnt a word in your life. So you desperately try to read the body language to see which way to jump. Get the “wrong” answer and you suffer for your lack of taste / tact / interest or loyalty. Get the “right” answer and there may well be the dreaded supplementary – “Yes, but why do you think that?”
So I had some sympathy for the man who accidentally saw his wife’s face after probably 30 years. Although an accident, it posed the unspoken question, “How have I weathered over three decades?”. This man would have seen her for a few minutes as a youth, and not seen her face, or indeed any other woman’s, ever since. He probably had no concept of skin aging. He’d certainly never developed a technique for giving the “right” answer.
She said she only uncovers her face in total privacy, after she makes sure her husband and children are out of the house.
Only then I can feel free to change my clothes and remove my veil, she said. One day I walked over to the living room with my face uncovered. I never knew my husband was sitting there watching the TV. He saw my face.
She said her husband screamed when he saw her without a veil.
I ran to my room and I locked myself up for several hours. When I came out, he was very angry at me.
No, screaming wasn’t the best response. If she looked like the Elephant Man, it would perhaps have been understandable. Or if her face had rotted away with leprosy. Or if “she” turned out to be a trans-sexual. But in this case, assuming a wife who had aged normally, I think a little more tact would have been appropriate.
What is of course revealing about the power relationship there, and indeed throughout much of Qassim, is that he was the one who was angry. He wasn’t pinned out on the sand. He wasn’t made to spend the next month in the camel enclosure. He was allowed the luxury of indulging his anger.
I asked Mrs A what she thought of the idea of a 24 X 7 veil. She said it would be an improvement, but that I should remember to keep it out of my soup. Ouch.
I have two observations: One is that contrary to what Westerners believe, veiled women are easily recognizable to family, friends and even co-workers. And it almost never, ever impedes communication. If it does, it’s usually the problem of the non-Arab/non-Muslim who can’t get past the cultural issues. Two, some families in Qassim take the issue to the extreme. I’ve met one young person who told me her father and mother shared the same house but never the same room. She stayed in her room and he in his. She remained veiled. The husband and wife communicated through the children.
Delhi,
Your ‘diplomatic’ responses on this subject are fantastic, even though I’m sure you must have your own strong feelings….you do a super job of keeping them in check.
After living among the Saudis for many years, I now see this particular custom, (however rare), in a whole new light.
Perhaps being veiled 24/7 has been a way for the women, in this little community, to remain young and strong throughout their lives, no matter what their age. Maybe it’s easier for a husband to treat each wife ‘equally’ when he cannot see that one is more beautiful or younger than the other. Maybe it takes away the men’s interest in having multiple wives at all because it’s such an effort to really ‘know’ each one. I think a Saudi journalist should go and ask these questions and find out why they live the way they do and how it all got started. I find it fascinating.
Just think, a husband would definitely have to exert a lot more effort in this kind of relationship…in knowing how his wife/mother or sister felt. Instead of coming home from work and sitting on the sofa and vegging out—like many men that can actually see their wife—, he would actually have to ‘TALK’ to her about her day, about how she was feeling…otherwise, how would he know anything! Hmmm, these women might be smarter than we think.
I had a great aunt who never went into sunlight or even stepped out of her room during the day because the Sun God was male (in our culture) and it would mean that a man other than her husband would see her face.
I am surprised she did not die of rickets at an early age. I wonder what health issues crop up from being covered all the time. I hope their diet gives them adequate Vitamin D.
On the subject of aging, I’ll bet most of those women have perfect skin till old age because the skin is saved from pollution and sun damage.
I have heard of women complaining of getting headaches from covering their face and I don’t mean “it is a headache”. I am also convinced that covering the face in many cases leads to high blood pressure as it has been proven that improper breathing causes a lot of disturbances in the body. It would be interesting if scientists could actually study this and perhaps come up with a nice breathable material that is good for the health. I am also convinced that the niqab has an impact on eyesight. I also wonder if these women who cover always even in front of their family get sun exposure.
My thing is the constant veiling, what does that do to the psyche since this really isn’t the norm and human beings are social people and for a child never to see their mother’s face? Just seems so out there. Sorry but I try to imagine my own daughter never seeing my face, my eyes lighting up in joy or my smile…a mother is usually the one who cares for the kid and nurses the baby…the baby seeks that interaction with another human being, usually the mother and her smile gives the baby comfort and a strong bonding.
That extract from the muttawa-blogspot, was the first I heard of this custom. Defenitely my favourite site when I need a pick-me-up!
I don’t think I’m going to comment on this. My diplomatic tact is sadly absent, and my knowledge of the English language is grossly inadequate.
These people have some very bizarre habits.
A lot of great comments and food for thought. You are prompted me to find my own reflections during a time that it was necessary to veil:
http://delhi4cats.wordpress.com/2007/10/18/wearing-the-veil/
While I will not state emphatic views one way or the other on what someone else has been brought up as normal and traditional custom, I agree with Rob’s comment that a lot of times those of us from differing cultures do have a hard time getting past a cultural barrier that is so vastly different.
Yes; it would be informative -IF- a journalist could meet and speak with some of the women (probably difficult though given the conservative culture) or have a scientific study performed on impact of the lack of sunlight or psychological impacts of being around one who might appear to be a “faceless blob” to some.
That being said, I have decided to associate one who veils all the time with blindness. One may be blind but still knows who is around him or her and communication does not have to be impeded. In fact, as I believe Miriam point out, with not seeing a face, it can in fact stimulate conversation.
This is just so extreme, totally off the charts. To not allow your husband or even your children to view your face – wow! What is the thinking behind this? The important thing to remember here is that this has nothing to do with Islam – it is purely traditional/cultural for that area of the world. Personally, my own experience with my husband and his friends (all Muslim and all Saudi) is that facial beauty is extremely important to these men. I have discussed this subject with them, and facial beauty ranks number one – above intelligence, personality, sense of humor, family ranking, wealth, you name it. That is why it is just so hard to believe that veiling 24/7 – although rare – even exists in a society that places such importance on facial beauty.
You are such a wealth of information – thanks for teaching me so much about my new home and its people and culture.
I totally agree with you Susie! It is hard to fathom, especially as you pointed out, facial beauty (vanity) does indeed rank high among so many others.
I’m glad I’m able to contribute in my own small way!
[...] at social gatherings and other functions. Alternatively if one hears about the Saudi women who never uncover their face until the day of their death, they may find that to be the most unusual custom. And yet for other [...]