If you get invited to dine at a Saudi’s home and it is a traditional dining style it will differ greatly from the Western style and culture. First there could likely be segregation with the men and older boys in one area and women, girls and young children in another. And of course the males in the family would be served first if dining is not done for both simultaneously.
One may or may not be dining at a table. In the more traditional of families, dining can take place on the floor where a large carpet will be laid out on the floor and one sits on cushions. A large plastic sheeting will be placed atop of the carpet and the food will be set on top of the sheeting.
Depending on what one is served dishes may be optional. With some dishes it is traditional for everyone to use their hands and eat from common bowls. If dishes are provided one may only receive a spoon as the universal utensil. Bones from meat or other items one doesn’t wish to eat would be placed aside on the plastic sheeting and all would be tossed away when the meal is finished.
If the meal is served at a table there would be similarities. Plastic sheeting would typically be placed atop a tablecloth. Again, the same configuration for dishes and utensils would apply.
And I forgot to mention, universally throughout the Kingdom it is unusual for napkins to be placed out during a meal. However there will be a box of tissues which are used for this purpose.
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…and do not be disgusted or offended if someone tears the meat off for you and flings it at you. as a western guess they are helping you out, cuz there are no knives. I was just at a very traditional families house for dinner last night. Most people eat the rice with their hands (sunnah is 3 fingers) and smush it with their fist. My 5 year old daughter did not want to eat anymore. she said, “Mommy they keep putting the rice back in the plate from their hand.” I told her, this is why you should only eat from what is in front of you (per sunnah). This is my anal daughter, so for the rest of the meal she concentrated on eating only from what was DIRECTLY in front of her and would ask each time she reached for something, “Mommy is this in front of me?”
My other daughter, was eating in the room with the children. She came back and sat next to me, with her own bowl and spoon. i asked why she didn’t stay in the other room. She said, because one of the mother’s wanted her child to taste the food and used her spoon. She has no problem eating communion styyle, but she stops with the sharing of utensils. My kids are paranoid of other peoples germs…lol
Carol,
This is also the way the Africans entertain with their dinners however,I usually don’t let my husband off the hook to eat freely.I send OUR 3 1/2 year old son to eat with him!Alot of his friends don’t take to kindly to this but I’m not trying to feed 4 kids and myself without his help.I get his help at home when it’s time for everyone to eat,I get his help when we eat out at a restaurant, and I expect his help when we dine with friends!
Is it “traditional” for Saudis to serve the drink after the meal and not with the meal?I find this alot with the Africans.Occasionally they will sevrve bottled water with the meal but normally most drinks are served after.This doesn’t bother me much but I find my children wanting a drink while eating.
Oh those dreaded boxes of tissues!They make a bigger mess than they’re worth!When you try to wipe the food from your hands they just stick to it and then you have to figure out how to get the food and the stuck on tissue from your hand!I prefer a roll of paper towel.
Well in general the dining experiences sound the same and you’d be crazy to turn down an invitation,even with the few inconveniences,because the food is delicious!
I also think people miss the spirit of the Sunnah and take only the literal aspect of it. Kind of missing the trees for the forest.
The Prophet was a VERY clean man. He made the best out of the situation he had. To me it is a mistake to think that if the Prophet had spoons, forks and knives he wouldnt have used them.
He didnt have anti-bacterial soap, but if you get the spirit of the Sunnah, not just a literal view of it, you’ll see he would have been the biggest espouser of things like this.
Indians, non Muslim also eat with their fingers, it has nothing to do with religion in their case. It is a cultural thing. The Prophet was the cleanest of men, so forks, spoons and knives would have been some of his favourite things, along with toilet paper, bedets, anti bacterial soap and the like.
Eating like this is not done everywhere in Saudi either. I talked to my wife and mother in law, they made it clear that eating in this manner where they come from in Saudi would be considered crude, and “bedu”.
Anyway, “when in Rome”.
Umm Adam, Tina, Abu Sinan – thanks for the comments!
Umm Adam: Yes; it was an adjustment for even me at first if at a traditional function and the women and children were mixed to see the children try food and then put it back for whatever reason. Or in some cases, knowing that the food had first been previously “gone over” by the men and now we were sitting down for our share. But, one does adapt and the food is absolutely delicious. And you are quite right, as a newcomer, many will try to assist you as they want to make sure you get to try everything as well as have the choice pieces as a newcomer. While this may be a different style of eating for some, the Saudi hospitality is there and it is rich and generous.
Tina: In many cases of traditional dining I have noticed that one must specifically ask for a drink as usually after the meal a tray of drinks and/or tea will be served. I can understand with a number of young children to feed at once you would want your husband’s help and support! And please, you’ll have to tell more about the African traditions.
Abu Sinan: I’m surprised by your wife and mother-in-law’s comments. If one goes to just about any traditional restaurant (and pays a fine price) this may very well be how the food is served and everyone eats. For example in Riyadh, Nej’d Village is a popular restaurant known for authentic cuisine and traditional dining. Diners are served on the floor and utensils are optional – one must ask for them to receive them!
I’d also like to point out that in the States (and elsewhere in the West) there are also our own styles of traditional dining or acceptable dining that is similar to the Saudi style. Think of the American style picnic where one usually places a tablecloth on the ground and everyone sits to enjoy the meal and many times using only the fingers such as eating corn on the cob, fried chicken, french fries, etc.
And to add to Abu Sinan’s comment, one of my first dining experiences in Pakistan was as the guest of a couple of individuals from Baluchistan who presented me with a traditional Baluch meal. This meal consisted of sitting on the floor and all eating from a communal dish and like Umm Adam said, the host kept giving me the choicest pieces with his hands, to include goats eyes! (then you just smiled, closed your eyes and swallowed!)
Carol,
I think you hit the nail on the head when you commented about Riyadh and the place called “Nej’d Village”. There is a HUGE difference in the culture and practices between people of the Najd and the people of the Hijaz. There is no love lost between the two.
My sister in law worked for awhile in Riyadh and was at one pointed refered to as “Hijazi vomit”. Of course those in the Hijazi view themselves as being more civilised and cultured than those “backwards tribal bedu” in the Najd.
Historically speaking one must look to the massive havock, even murder, commited by the Najdi when they took the Hijazi. Not only mass murder, but the destruction on a large scale of Hijazi buildings and religious sites by the tradtionally more conservative Najdi invaders.
Keep in mind before the invasion of the Hijaz by the al-Sauds, they had basic elections, councils and a plurality of cultures that the Najd does not have, even to this day.
Like I said before, eating with the hands is more of a cultural thing. Me wife ended up making friends with a Pakistani lady from Lahore. Her father is a diplomat here at the Pakistani Embassy. He is a rather nice fellow, highly educated. We went to their house for dinner, and of course everyone but us ate with their fingers whilst sitting at the table.
I have to admit that my experience with Saudis is almost 100% with Hijazis, so that is where my viewpoint comes from. I realise that the Hijazi is a fair amount different from other parts of Saudi, especially the Najd, places like Qassim and the like.
One thing I have also learned in my travels and experiences in the Muslim world is that nationality doesnt always mean much, where you come from in the country often means more.
Take your experience with the Baluchis. Are you aware that the Baluch peoples are looked down on by most of the rest of Pakistan? They are the running butt of many Pakistani jokes. Same with the Pathans.
But this happens everywhere. I was born in Germany and come from a German background, from Hessia and further north. In Germany everyone makes fun of Baverians. When I moved to the USA as a kid we went to North Dakota, and depending on where you were from the norms were jokes about Swedes, or on the other side, about Norwegians.
Abu Sinan: I know that there can be contention or almost like tribal feuding between differing areas. I hate to disappoint you and your wife’s family but I have been to some homes of Hijazis (and not Nej’d transplants) who have proudly presented us with the traditional dining as I described. Many Saudi families will revert back to the old customs and roots of dining, particularly during Ramadan as it makes them feel closer to the Prophet and his ways.
Hijazis are quite different and pride themselves in being more sophisticated, open, and civilized. i have a very good hijazi friend. She was educated in America at a young age, her mom is an heir of the Prophet, her family is almost all intercultural marriages (Malaysians, Syrians, Thai, etc). She often points out the differences between hijazis and the rest. However, when I dine with them, the meal is still served on the floor. the exception being that you are given your own plate and can serve yourself from the main dish and you get utensils. otherwise it’ the same set-up: sweets served first, with gawa, main meal, tea.
I am with Umm Adam on this one. Sitting at the floor eating, I have seen Hijazis do this, but I have never seen them eat with the fingers.
My wife’s family is kind of like the one Umm Adam describes. My mother in law’s father is Indonesian, her mother was Saudi. I guess that makes my wife like 1/4 Indonesian and might explain why she doesnt seem to fit into one neat category with her looks.
They will describe themselves as Saudi, but the “Hijazi” or even “Meccaweah” label is always inserted to distinguish between themselves and those elsewhere whom them consider lesser.
As to being related to the Prophet, I dont know if it is me but it seems that almost everyone I meet from The Gulf claims some relationship to the Prophet. My wife’s mother’s family claims it. As they are a well known family, known for their religious background, I might believe their claim a bit. Several family members current serve at the Grand Mosque in Mecca.
I expressed my doubt to my wife. I take all claims of being related to the Prophet with a grain of salt. My mother in law has this saying that all people related to the Prophet are destined to be people of humble (not affluent) lot in life. I had to ask her if she is then related to the Prophet why her brother was a general in the Saudi Air Force and owned large stretches of property. That kind of goes against the “humble” idea.
Anyway, I think anyone with long family presence in Mecca like my mother in law’s Saudi side probably does have some sort of link, no matter how distant, with the Prophet and his tribe.
which families are actually related to the Prophet could be another whole blog subject!
It also is very difficult eating with your three vingers and do it neatly and gracefully, one shouldn’t underestimate that!
I prefer eating with chopsticks over anything else.
I enjoy eating with chopsticks as well….I think chopsticks are wonderful and help prevent one from overeating!